When did we discover his name was MIKE anyway?
I dunno. I said we could assume his name is Mike a bit back.
Yeah, everyone is named Mike.
Currently Working On: My Overwatch addiction.
USe yOur INTELLIGENCE stat TO search The roOm.
None.
FUCK STOP PUSHING ME
Take a shower, find something slutty to wear, start playing music, turn off the lights and light candles. If no candles are there, dim the lights. If you cannot dim the lights, remove/break every other light source so the room appears dimmer.
Find the cutest "fuck me" pumps to wear whist attempting to seduce MIKE.
In getting prepared for DINNER, you decide you should make the room DIMMER to help MIKE forget all about DINNER. There are only TWO LIGHTS in the room, so you decide to BUST ONE OF THEM, leaving the BACK HALF of the ROOM DARK, instead of making the WHOLE ROOM DIMMER. Oh well. You put on SKANKY STILETTO HEELS and a REALLY SHORT DRESS, and call SEDUCTIVELY THROUGH THE DOOR, "I'm ready, MIKE."
HE looks at you and FROWNS, mumbling that he was going to take you to a FIVE STAR RESTAURANT, but since you aren't dressed APPROPRIATELY, he's going to take you to "I LOVED A MULE," a FOREIGN FILM at the DOLLAR THEATERS. If you're lucky, maybe he'll buy you POPCORN!
I LOVE FOREIGN FILMS, and luckily, "I LOVED A MULE" is the latest from Guillermo Del Toro. Score!
Wink seductively, lick your lips letting him know you're ready for action, say "Momma's ready to get ger subtitles on, and maybe later you can read my lips. While we have sex," and then skip to the door like a giddy child.
This is gonna be the BEST DATE EVER!
Currently Working On: My Overwatch addiction.
ASK MIKE in an ALMOST-CRYING voice why he would would do such mean a thing. TELL MIKE that the CLOTHES were the only ones that could be found that weren't covered in BLOOD.
INSIST that you saw BLOOD on the OTHER CLOTHES.
TURN HEAD away from MIKE.
None.
We can't explain the universe, just describe it; and we don't know whether our theories are true, we just know they're not wrong. >Harald Lesch
Wait a minute... can someone explain to me why we're going to have sex with a GUY? That's gay!
This has been brought up before. We are now playing as a woman. Hence why Kame always talked about us wanting hot
lesbian sex in the game, which is also gay.
Currently Working On: My Overwatch addiction.
When you're at the movies, try to seduce a young, hot woman. Then bring her home.
Win by luck, lose by skill.
This has been brought up before. We are now playing as a woman. Hence why Kame always talked about us wanting hot
lesbian sex in the game, which is also gay.
it's not gay, it's
lesbian.
Kame has given up on this. we go from being nearly killed to going out on a date with a crazy guy who we assume is named mike, but only after we dislocate his jaw and he tries to kill us.
"Parliamentary inquiry, Mr. Chairman - do we have to call the Gentleman a gentleman if he's not one?"
we go from being nearly killed to going out on a date with a crazy guy who we assume is named mike, but only after we dislocate his jaw and he tries to kill us.
Wait, so this
isn't how we hook up with someone?
... Shit ... I need to go change a few plans.
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We can't explain the universe, just describe it; and we don't know whether our theories are true, we just know they're not wrong. >Harald Lesch
This has been brought up before. We are now playing as a woman. Hence why Kame always talked about us wanting hot
lesbian sex in the game, which is also gay.
I know! Still sex with guys is unacceptable.
I LOVE FOREIGN FILMS, and luckily, "I LOVED A MULE" is the latest from Guillermo Del Toro. Score!
Wink seductively, lick your lips letting him know you're ready for action, say "Momma's ready to get ger subtitles on, and maybe later you can read my lips. While we have sex," and then skip to the door like a giddy child.
This is gonna be the BEST DATE EVER!
ASK MIKE in an ALMOST-CRYING voice why he would would do such mean a thing. TELL MIKE that the CLOTHES were the only ones that could be found that weren't covered in BLOOD.
INSIST that you saw BLOOD on the OTHER CLOTHES.
TURN HEAD away from MIKE.
After LICKING YOUR LIPS SEDUCTIVELY, you suddenly feel less TURNED ON and more DEPRESSED. You CRY DEEPLY while MUNCHING ON A BAGEL. Oh god, those carbs hurt so good...
you know that this has ruined YOUR DIET, which UPSETS YOU EVEN MORE.
MIKE SIGHS and RUBS YOUR SHOULDERS, APOLOGIZING before YOU MAKE A SCENE. He HAILS A TAXI, and scoots in first so that you don't have to. He TRIES TO HOLD YOUR HAND the way there, but you're too busy eating your BAGEL.
You arrive at the MOVIE THEATER at 8:45. The Show starts at 9:30. To the EAST and WEST are ROWS OF SHOPS. SOUTH is the STREET, NORTH is the THEATER.
ASK MIKE what HE wants TO DO before the MOVIE starts.
Currently Working On: My Overwatch addiction.
Put on your birthday suit.
We can't explain the universe, just describe it; and we don't know whether our theories are true, we just know they're not wrong. >Harald Lesch
Kick him in the groins for touching you, shout and scream and him and call a taxi that brings you to the headmistress.
ASK MIKE what HE wants TO DO before the MOVIE starts.
Put on your birthday suit.
MIKE informs you that he would LIKE TO GET NAKED before the MOVIE STARTS, and begins to STRIP OFF HIS CLOTHES.
CHILDREN waiting for LUCKY DUCK 2 to start begin to SCREAM as MIKE reduces his clothes to only BOXER BRIEFS.
An artist's depiction of an Extended Unit Death
Run in the opposite direction as fast as you can for as long as you can.