You search the SUSPICIOUS KNAPSACK thoroughly, shifting through supplies in the dark. Its okay though, your eyes have adjusted, so you can make out most things just fine.
KNAPSACK INVENTORY [six slots]
Suspiciously folded note
Brick
Unopened Lock Picking set - apparently they didn't need it because you forgot to LOCK your door!
Paring Knife in a leather sleeve
[empty]
[empty]

Suspiciously unfold the suspiciously folded note.
Turn on a light (normally, not suspiciously; that would be ridiculous).
Suspiciously read aloud the now-unfolded note.

You turn on the LIGHTS and are temporarily BLINDED. It takes FIVE MINUTES for your EYES to readjust. You quietly unfold the notes, discreetly unfolding it with paranoid GLANCES over your SHOULDER. You READ it out loud:
"Dear M[star symbol],
The note I had concealed in this book was removed by a male we have identified as TONY SHORTS. We have reason to believe they know about the suspicious erasers as well. So much for leaving things in the library - it turns out people do use that place after all. Please retrieve the note at all possible costs.
Sincerely,
B.E."

There is a KNOCK on your DOOR. Did someone here?

Equip paring knife and open door.

You DROP the KNAPSACK on the ground, the BRICK causing a heavy thud as it drops. Man whoever lives beneath you is going to be PISSED. You EQUIP the PARING KNIFE, and your CONFIDENCE STAT is boosted +2 for as long as it is EQUIPPED! You open the DOOR and see...

DEUC! Apparently he came by to tell you about his EXPLOITS with his LADY FRIEND when he heard the THUD and saw SOMEONE SUSPICIOUS RUNNING out the DORM DOOR. He wants to know what's going on.

tell him

Quote from Fire_Kame

Did someone here?

No, but someone was probably there. Or they might've heard.

Tell him that a man came in, was trying to steal something from my room, but I was able to drive him away with sheer physical strength.

You TELL DEUC what just happened. He listens with confused AW, calling you full of BULLSHIT. He asks you to put away your PARING KNIFE, and asks you where you found such a thing?

You are now AWARE that although the PARING KNIFE boosts your CONFIDENCE STAT while it is EQUIPPED, it also lowers your PERSONALITY STAT THREE POINTS.

Ask him where DAMSEL IN DISTRESS lives. Slide PARING KNIFE between belt and pants. If no belt and/or pants are being worn, continue holding PARING KNIFE.

Use the paring knife as a citation of what happened. If he calls bullshit again, stab him in the leg because your personality temporarily sucks.

You put the PARING KNIFE into the LEATHER SLEEVE it came with and snap it around your BELT BUCKLE. You have discovered that anything with a loop can be worn on your belt! Your stats return to normal. You ask DEUC where the DAMSEL IN DISTRESS lives, even though you know her REAL NAME due to the DORM PARTY LAST NIGHT. DEUC says she's probably in her DORM ROOM across CAMPUS.

You are aware that it is now FOUR AM.

Return to your ROOM to SLEEP and restore ENERGY, and do not forget to set ALARM.

After waking up proceed to KAREN's DORM. Knock on her door. If she answers her door, ask her "Would you like to watch The Human Centipede with me?"

You sleep peacefully until TEN AM, where you wake up half an hour before your ALARM CLOCK is set to go off. You SMELL horrible and for some reason you have a lingering ache in your SPINE and HIPS. perhaps it is because you slept with your whole INVENTORY equipped.

You have ascended to level 3! You received one STAT point to spend as you wish!

Shower, and gain SWAGGER for having slept with your whole INVENTORY equipped.

I recommend taking off your clothes + inventory before you shower. TRUST ME.

How would we clean our clothes and inventory if we did it your way?

^ This.

Shamwow. It does it all.