Consume Honey Nut Cheerios to-go!

Man you really went all out copying my story huh the only difference is that TONY might have FRIENDS and FABER is probably HOMOSEX.

Kill Kame's text adventure

Faber represents those who know what is being done is wrong, but are too fearful to act. Tony is a name you drew out of a hat.

You JOG HOME without even saying goodbye to your new BRO, GEORGE, because you have better things to do like BE PRODUCTIVE. The short distance home barely helps to increase your ENDURANCE skill and you're left SLIGHTLY OUT OF BREATH. Your MOTHER'S CAR still isn't there. You enter your HOUSE, which you accidentally LEFT UNLOCKED, after wiping dirt from your SNEAKERS. You walk to your STUDY and GOOGLE "How to improve your charisma" and hit I'M FEELING LUCKY. The SEARCH RESULT doesn't yield to your INTERESTS, so you search "How to improve your perception" and hit I'M FEELING LUCKY AGAIN. The SEARCH RESULT yields some useful INFORMATION, but said INFORMATION requires you to get up and move. You put it off to a later time. Suddenly you hear some steps upstairs.

It is now 10:00 AM.

I'm really not competing with you.

Get up and check who it is.

Reach into the closet and pull out a baseball bat. Slowly make your way up the stairs and see who/what's up there.

EDIT: no u nude. My action is better. >:O

> Since I am a smart person, I know right away that BURGLARS are upstairs.
> RUN SCRIPT OBJECT -
var
KNIVESPresent: bit;
UPSTAIRS: location;
BURGLAR: natural;
begin
SEARCH(kitchen, knives);
CHECK(KNIVESPresent);
IF(KNIVESPresent=1) THEN begin
TAKE(KNIFE, 1);
EQUIP(KNIFE);
SETSEARCHPRIORITY(UPSTAIRS, 1);
SEARCHFOR(BURGLAR, the whole HOUSE);
IF(BURGLAR >= 1) THEN STAB(BURGLAR, until DEATH);
end
ELSE begin
SETSEARCHPRIORITY(UPSTAIRS, 1);
SEARCHFOR(BURGLAR, the whole HOUSE);
IF(BURGLAR >= 1) THEN PUNCH(BURGLAR, until DEATH);
end;
end.

Syntactic error? Or is this a really bad language?

You get up from your chair after hearing the SUSPICIOUS FOOTSTEPS and decide it'd be best to take a WEAPON with you, as you have no idea what could lurk up there. As if it were a video game, you CROUCH and walk toward the closet. Your AGILITY helps you to SNEAK. When you swing the CLOSET ajar, your LUCK doesn't help you one bit - there's no BASEBALL BAT, but there is an UMBRELLA. You reminisce about CHRIS BROWN and equip the UMBRELLA. Better than nothing, right? You decide to take ACTION and slowly shuffle up the STAIRCASE and take a left into your PARENTS' ROOM where you heard the MYSTERIOUS FOOTSTEPS. Quietly you peek your HEAD just in view of the room and LUCK helps you to not be seen. You see a MAN. Just an ORDINARY MAN who happens to be SNOOPING ABOUT. Your INTELLIGENCE helps you decide to remain HIDDEN until you can think of SOMETHING COOL to do... with your UMBRELLA-ELLA-ELLA-AY-AY-AY.

Jump out yelling LEEEEROY JENKINS and attempt to chase the lurker!

KNIVESPresent is a binary value. It records whether or not Knives are present, not how many there are.

You scream at the top of your lungs, "LEEEEROY JENKINS" and charge into the ROOM where the MAN is. He PLEAS that he just needed a PLACE TO SLEEP and DOESN'T WANT VIOLENCE while SPRINTING AWAY. You won't take ANY OF THAT SHIT. You manage to hit him once with the UMBRELLA, inflicting MINIMAL DAMAGE. By the time he gets OUTSIDE you realize his ENDURANCE stat is MUCH HIGHER THAN YOURS and your ENERGY GIVES IN. You stop in your tracks and he escapes. You may not at least have CHICKEN, but you gain one ATTRIBUTE POINT to distribute into anything. You're left on your PORCH, UMBRELLA in hand. It begins to RAIN and you feel slightly bad that the ORDINARY MAN has no SHELTER FROM THE RAIN.

-1 KARMA

KARMIC BALANCE: EVIL (-1)

2 RETARD POINTS.

LEVEL UP

Choose 1 ATTRIBUTE POINT!

• Strength - 6
  
• Perception - 5
  
• Endurance - 5
  
• Charisma - 6
  
• Intelligence - 6
  
• Agility - 6
  
• Luck - 7
  

Perception. +1.
I run to SCHOOL in the rain with the UMBRELLA equipped.

UMBRELLA still EQUIPPED and over your head, you decide to go to SCHOOL. It is now 11 AM. It takes about 30 MINUTES to reach SCHOOL. When you're finally outside SCHOOL WALLS it's 11:30. You ponder if you should ENTER or PLAY HOOKY and go on MORE ADVENTURES.

CURRENT STATS

• Strength - 6
  
• Perception - 6
  
• Endurance - 5
  
• Charisma - 6
  
• Intelligence - 6
  
• Agility - 6
  
• Luck - 7
  

Ask the nearest person what to do next. Then do as he says.

Your enhanced PERCEPTION helps you realize that there's no one within visible distance of you.

Enter the SCHOOL GROUNDS, look for SOMEONE and ask them whether I should GO TO SCHOOL or GO ON AN ADVENTURE.