EAT CHEERIOS. And enjoy them.

AND enjoy THE VIEW?

So...does that make Faber gay?

You pull the HONEY NUT CHEERIOS to-go out of your BACKPACK, which is now EMPTY, and create a makeshift seat out of it in the middle of the sidewalk. You wonder why you didn't have anything in the BACKPACK in the first place. You open the PLASTIC BAGGY and munch on all of the HONEY NUT CHEERIOS inside. Your stomach thanks you. You put the PLASTIC BAG in your LEFT POCKET, hoping it will be of some use later on.

Throw the bag on the sidewalk like a boss!

- I flip the CELL PHONE open, deal 911, and tell the officers that I've overslept, am now VERY late for SCHOOL, and request an OFFICER to come to such and such to give me a ride.

FU-!
My next action will be to get it back.
Ecologists ftw!

In a badass manner you remove the PLASTIC BAG from your LEFT POCKET and pelt it to the ground. The wind picks up and rolls it around a bit. You decide to show it who's boss and slay the beast. In an aggressive manner you stomp on the PLASTIC BAG until it's dead in your mind. The EXPERIENCE gained from the kill leads to a STRENGTH level up. However, a bystander got the entire thing on VIDEO, which he will most likely upload to YOUTUBE titled "DUMBASS STOMPING ON PLASTIC BAG". You gain a RETARD POINT.

CURRENT STATS

• Strength - 6
  
• Perception - 5
  
• Endurance - 5
  
• Charisma - 6
  
• Intelligence - 6
  
• Agility - 6
  
• Luck - 7
  

1 RETARD POINT.

- I pick up the plastic bag, walk to the guy, ask for a lighter and request him to film me trying to burn the bag.

Poor Earth! D:

Despite humiliation, you pick up the now dead PLASTIC BAG and equip it. You walk over to the BYSTANDER who filmed you and with great CHARISMA you request a LIGHTER from him so he can FILM you attempting to BURN the PLASTIC BAG. The BYSTANDER who you find out is named GEORGE tells you he has no LIGHTER on him. "Sorry, BRO." He says. Your weak PERCEPTION leads you to believe that you and GEORGE are now BROS despite having JUST MET.

Considering killing a plastic bag gave us XP...

-> Attack/Kill/Destroy/Whatever "Learner's Permit".
(And save Earth preventing yourself from using cars.)

Done with today, you guise can take over ;o

You pull out your WALLET and remove your LEARNER'S PERMIT, then put your WALLET back into your BACK POCKET. With your new found STRENGTH you TEAR APART the LEARNER'S PERMIT despite GEORGE standing right in front of you asking why you're not in school. Because the LEARNER'S PERMIT was a weak MONSTER, you gained ZERO EXPERIENCE and your RIGHT TO LEGALLY DRIVE. Way to go DUMBASS. +1 RETARD POINT.

2 RETARD POINTS. (By the way, when you reach 3 RETARD POINTS they reset to ZERO and you lose one INTELLIGENCE ATTRIBUTE.)

Go home and do something productive. Begin researching stuff about social interaction online to improve charisma and perception. On top of that, jog home to build up some endurance.

AND skip school How effective your way of self-improvment is.

When I first read this topic, I thought "This guy is 17 and still only has a learner's permit?"

Then I read on and thought "SHOULDA EATEN THE CEREAL, NUB."

Then I read the bit about retard points and laughed.

Wait, the Cherios was CEREAL? Then what, the guy even put MILK IN THE BAG??? Or just ate it without milk? O_O;

My goal is achieved.
Less pollution in cyber-worlds.

On an unrelated note, this is topic number 13337