The below is the most important sentence I wrote for addressing the specific topic at hand and not the general sort of question being presented.
Why, yes, in fact, even if all the sexual assault hysteria were true, it would *still* make far more sense to treat it seriously and help people *actually* get over it rather than act like it ruins people's lives forever.
The topic isn't about justifying violence, its about whether society's current approach to violence isn't completely batshit insane. And so my answer is, "Yes, yes it is." Nobody seems to really know how to approach helping others who are experiencing grief. If you actually cared about someone who experienced trauma you would not respond the way we currently do, which is what the OP appears to be boggling at. The following Last Psyciatrist posts are interesting explorations of the topic of dealing with grief and trauma (http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/12/funeral.html)
Part of my motivation for posting was to expressly dissuade the original poster (OP) from inevitably considering "Men's Rights Activists" (MRA) or "Men Going Their Own Way" (MGTOW) as valid approaches to reality. Neither of these are quite the same thing as hating women, and both are mistaken. The MRA crowd is very explicitly men who attempted to apply logic to the insane socio-political world we now live in, finding it doesn't add up, and deciding that hey it must just be a few bad apples, if only we could institute one more social program (but for men this time) then we would find ourselves in utopia! They've applied logic, but they're still caught in the same stupid frame that social activism is the solution to problems.
MGTOW have a different problem, which is that they obviously didn't finish watching the Matrix. The gnostic metaphor in the movie (ala Plato's Allegory of the Cave) is presented early on, in the form of the red pill and the blue pill. Taking the red pill means acknowledging the horrible truth of the world around you. MGTOW are basically the character of Cypher. They took the red pill, and they wish they could go back into the Matrix because this shit is way too real. But the most important scene of the movie, the one that brings unique insight to the gnostic metaphor, is actually a little further in.
Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.
Now, in the movie, Neo is the only one capable of reaching this state of being, so Cypher wanting to get his ass out of the real world is perfectly reasonable. But in actual life, anybody can become "Neo." Acknowledging the horrible reality of the world won't require you to constantly be on the lookout for ways the system is trying to screw you. You can in fact learn to deal with the world as it actually is, unconsciously. For example, acknowledging that a friend of yours has been through extreme trauma, you do not follow the retarded script the system has given you, but instead say "Hey, that sucks. Let me know if there's anything I can do" and then never bring it up again because that's how you deal with other people's problems when you're not a raging narcissist incapable of recognizing that they're an actual human being (as opposed to the completely insane "I have got to fix you!" attitude that narcissists have because other people aren't real, and they're annoying with their tears and shit.)
Whew. Unfortunately there is more yet to say. Ultimately even though anyone can learn to deal with reality as it is, part of undertaking that journey is learning how to deal with others who will mock you for trying to take it. They'll try to dissuade you by spewing out the latest buzzwords "misogynist" and "racist" and so on. You can try to apply logic to these insults as well, but all you'll find is, "Hey, doesn't your system cause a woman to be psychologically damaged for the rest of her life? You may say you like women, but it seems like you're the one who hates them with every fiber of your being, gleefully destroying a person's life forever and then claiming you've done the opposite!" Or, "Hey, it seems to me that if we acknowledged ethnic differences we'd actually have far less death, destruction, and pain. The american black community in the 50s was thriving (after all, those buildings weren't *built* as burnt-out crackhouses), its almost as if its actually *your* social activist policies that have caused all the damage in the first place!"
Alas, again, applying logic to the stupid frame that has been set for you is a non-starter. The insults being tossed out aren't factual claims about your standing. They're more like self-defense mechanisms. The lady doth protest too much. You're never going to get someone to give up *one* part of the system they believe in. Because if that *one* part is mistaken, then the whole thing may be mistaken. But even if it were just that one part, if you're right then you're still telling them that they're one of the most horrible human beings who has ever lived - someone who is destroying otherwise psychologically healthy people for no good reason at all. But that's chaotic good for you. It just maps directly back to evil.