DEUC smacks you up the backside of your head. He then invites you to a DORM PARTY, happening on the SECOND FLOOR of DEUC'S DORM at NINE PM. But since you're a dude, you'll have to pay TEN BUCKS at the door or else bring a SIX PACK.

- I buy a box of orange juice and squirt it into JOKESTER's eyes, then say "If you want the acid in your eyeballs neutralized, give me ten bucks or a six pack."

Go and retrieve the SUSPICIOUS ERASERS as clearly not having them has started to affect your RTARD level. It could be some kind of CURSE linked to discarding them. Let's talk to Professor Johnson.

The JOKESTER ends up being a JOCK from your SENIOR SEMINAR class. A matter of fact, you're not even sure how he has the INTELLIGENCE STAT to succeed in this program. Regardless, your LUCK STAT dictates that he cries and curses like a child. He hands you TEN BUCKS. Surely this won't come back to bite you later.

You gained stat points from this objective! You gained +1 Swagger, and +2 GOOD, because no one liked this JOCK anyways.

Bully him into giving you five more dollars.

- I go to LIBRARY, read THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY by Albert Einstein until NINE PM, then go to DEUC's DORM PARTY on THE SECOND FLOOR.

You try to bully the JOCK into giving you FIVE BUCKS. The effects of ORANGE JUICE wore off! JOCK is no longer confused! He uses BODY SLAM, which launches you into a TABLE of PLATES. They crash to the floor. The present student body cheers. Don't worry, its only THREE FIFTEEN PM, most STUDENTS are still on the QUAD. You gained one RTARD point, and your nose is BLEEDING again.

- I go to RESTROOM and wash my face.
- I go to LIBRARY, read THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY by Albert Einstein until NINE PM, then go to DEUC's DORM PARTY on THE SECOND FLOOR.

Request assistance from nearby students.

Embarrassed, you go wash your face. You notice that BLOOD has gotten on your shirt but its fine, because it makes you look hardcore. You sulk off to the LIBRARY and find a BOOK on the THEORY OF RELATIVITY. It is EIGHT FIFTY FIVE PM, and you can safely say you haven't learned anything yet. You go to put the BOOK away when a SUSPICIOUS SLIP falls out from the front cover.

- I take the SUSPICIOUS SLIP and read it as I walk to the SECOND FLOOR to join the DORM PARTY.

The SUSPICIOUS SLIP appears to have a hand written note on it, but it is ineligible due to the age of the SUSPICIOUS SLIP. You are so distracted with trying to make out the writing that you walked on the SECOND FLOOR of the LIBRARY, not of a DORM. Oops! It is now 9:05 PM. You are suddenly aware that your FARMVILLE CROPS have wilted.

- I go back to the DORM PARTY, enter, show DEUC the SUSPICIOUS SLIP and ask for his opinion.

Command not recognized. There is no DORM PARTY in the LIBRARY! You'll have to head to DEUC'S DORM first!

- I go back to DUEC'S DORM, join the DORM PARTY, then show DEUC the SUSPICIOUS SLIP and ask for his opinion.

You head towards DEUC'S DORM, when you are stopped by a MAN IN A FLEECE SNOW VEST. He asks if he can borrow a moment of your time for the ENVIRONMENT. Your AWARENESS stat let's you know that the man is holding a CLIPBOARD.

- I raise my right arm towards the man and say "Sieg heil, what can I do for thee?"

The MAN IN THE FLEECE SNOW VEST looks at you in disgust, and walks the other direction, mumbling about our failing education system.. Ain't no one tell you what to sign. You make it to the SECOND FLOOR of DEUC'S DORM. The RUCKUS behavior allows you to quickly find where the DORM PARTY is. You get there to find the JOCK is collecting TEN BUCKS or else a SIX PACK. You give him TEN BUCKS, but he still won't let you through. He informs you that you must pay THIRTY BUCKS to him if you want to join the DORM PARTY. If you don't pay, he threatens to ATTACK you.

Tell him I'm on the list.
v

Tell him you're on the list.