Staredit Network > Forums > Media, Art, and Literature > Topic: Weight Loss for Dummies
Weight Loss for Dummies
Apr 14 2009, 4:21 am
By: Decency  

Apr 14 2009, 4:21 am Decency Post #1



Any habitual television viewer can attest to the fact that there are a myriad of advertisements for weight loss products that can be seen. Each of these advertisements claims to be innovative, new, and be an exciting way to lose weight simply and easily. Quite frankly, these are all bogus advertisements for drugs promising far more than they can actually offer. The true answer to all your problems is a drug currently in development, called a miracle drug by some, currently known only as “Weight Intensive-Loss Prototype for Width Reduction,” or WILPWR in short.

WILPWR is unique in that it can be taken by nearly anyone, barring those with severe disabilities or some diseases; though people with hectic schedules may find WILPWR to provide less benefit. While a chemical similar to WILPWR is naturally produced in everyone, those who are obese may find themselves to be biologically lacking an amount large enough for them to maintain a healthy body on their own. An injection of WILPWR can thus help to provide these overweight individuals with the means to lose excess mass.

Unlike other weight loss products, which claim to directly stimulate the metabolism and break down fat, WILPWR helps you by taking advantage of the body’s ability to naturally break down fat during exercise, without any supplementation. During physical exertion, fat stored on one’s body is used by the body itself to provide energy. After being spent, this lack of energy, and fat, will cause the weight of the person in question to drop. Also, this increase of energy will help to speed up the individual’s metabolism and provide him/her with ever more ability to lose weight. Exercise resulting in increasing amounts of physical stress on the body is thus increasingly more beneficial to those seeking to lose weight. For this reason, after taking WILPWR, those who used to walk frequently, without any results, may find themselves able to go for brisk jogs or even runs, achieving incredible weight loss that they had not previously seen. Those who did not think themselves able to work out at all prior to taking the drug will be astounded as to how WILPWR has caused such a dramatic change in their daily lives.

In addition to helping break down fat during exercise, WILPWR provides an amazing aversion towards eating massive amounts of food, or regularly eating unhealthy foods. With WILPWR, not only will you save money by not gorging on unhealthy and expensive foods, but your body, mind, and relationships will all benefit from your improved diet. Instead of desiring these poor food choices or tobacco products, which some turn to in order to avoid weight gain, those taking WILPWR will think of the results of their actions and thus act in a healthy manner. That isn’t to say, however, that when taking WILPWR you will not be able to eat your favorite foods ever again. The importance, however, is that those times when you do decide to consume your favorite treats must be not be regular daily occurrences, and instead be indulgences as a reward for consistent hard work and proper dieting, which can be easily achieved with WILPWR.

The lack of naturally produced WILPWR in many of America’s teens and young adults is an epidemic which is striking more and more people each day. This is a direct cause of the disease known as obesity. Oddly enough, however, this disease seems to be locked into American borders. Along with most serious athletes, the majority of foreigners seem to have developed immunity to this strange disease. The disease is also noticeably more common among individuals who may have been spoiled by his/her parents as a child.

WILPWR, in truth, is simply the result of the efforts of scientists to emulate the body’s natural production of a similar chemical. Just as diabetics lack insulin, a huge majority of obese people lack the chemical similar to WILPWR, and for these obese people attainment of WILPWR may be the sole route which leads to their weight loss.

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Nov 7 2009, 6:47 pm by FaZ-.



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Apr 14 2009, 3:08 pm lil-Inferno Post #2

Just here for the pie

I can't tell if this is advertising or not, but you make it seem like any other weight loss product. Also, this is in the wrong forum; even more reason to make it :lock:.




Apr 15 2009, 1:15 am Decency Post #3



It's not in the wrong forum, it's just over your head.



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Apr 15 2009, 2:30 am FlyingHat Post #4



Alli produces significantly more sadistically humorous results. :clap:
http://www.myalli.com/



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Apr 15 2009, 4:27 am Corbo Post #5

ALL PRAISE YOUR SUPREME LORD CORBO

...So are you selling this or what? It does sound like you're selling it.



fuck you all

Apr 15 2009, 4:43 am O)FaRTy1billion[MM] Post #6

👻 👾 👽 💪

I laugh at those needing this with my inability to gain weight. :P



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Apr 15 2009, 6:42 am Decency Post #7



I had faith in this forum. =(



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Apr 15 2009, 9:33 am Falkoner Post #8



Haha :P I love how it could totally be a weight loss commercial, up until those last two paragraphs, very humorous :P



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Apr 15 2009, 10:12 am InsolubleFluff Post #9



tl;dr

What I did read WAS advertising.

Best way to lose weight is to eat healty and exercise regularly. Don't just count calories. You need to know where they come from. Carbs, Proteins, Fat or Alcohol. And then you need to account for soluble and insoluble fibres, complex or simple and vitamin / mineral RDA.

Drugs will more than likely lead to side effects, additional expenses and dependancy. Once you rid of the fat, you want muscle to replace it. So all drugs suck.

Also, wrong forum. NEXT!



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Apr 15 2009, 10:36 am Vrael Post #10



http://www.staredit.net/?faq=2
Anyone else happen to notice advertising is a no-no?

Wtf though, is this just a joke?

If it's not, just start running. Run until you can't run anymore, then do it again the next day. Worked for me. And I can run far now :)



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Apr 15 2009, 10:50 am InsolubleFluff Post #11



But can you run farther than you could yesterday :P?



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Apr 15 2009, 11:28 am TriggR_HappE Post #12



Lol what is this? I change the channel when weight loss infomercials come on for a reason, I can't believe I just spent x amount of my life reading about one. I vote this thread be deleted for advertising and to save people from reading this in general.



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Apr 15 2009, 11:47 am InsolubleFluff Post #13



Noone else paying attention to the media art and literature...?



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Apr 15 2009, 12:17 pm MadZombie Post #14



It's liek some fail advertisement.

As if he wants us to buy something but doesn't provide and links to give money to buy or anything. I'm too fat. I don't wanna search for this shit. wtffffffffffffff.

Either exercise or Lypo sucktion lulz.



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Apr 15 2009, 12:37 pm InsolubleFluff Post #15



Or stay fat...



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Apr 15 2009, 2:57 pm Symmetry Post #16

Dungeon Master

I thought it was pretty clear that this isn't an advertisement...



:voy: :jaff: :voy: :jaff:

Apr 15 2009, 5:50 pm MadZombie Post #17



Quote from lil-Inferno
I can't tell if this is advertising or not, but you make it seem like any other weight loss product. Also, this is in the wrong forum; even more reason to make it :lock:.
One does not simply LOCK a topic when it could possible belong in Mordor Null.

After actually reading it, yea its not really an advertisement. Its just that WDLDCJCIN or w/e looks like a product and when you skim through it the caps stick out a lot and it seems like a brand product.

Still, I don't think many sen members are gonna care to read this since it won't really apply.

I always thought skinny/nerdy or healthy applied to sen, not Fat/nerdy and out of shape.



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Apr 15 2009, 6:21 pm InsolubleFluff Post #18



I personally thought we were ALL fire breathing dragons, not just myself.



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Apr 15 2009, 8:15 pm EzDay281 Post #19



Quote
I thought it was pretty clear that this isn't an advertisement...
NEVER!
This totally makes it obviously legit:
Quote
This is a direct cause of the disease known as obesity. Oddly enough, however, this disease seems to be locked into American borders. Along with most serious athletes, the majority of foreigners seem to have developed immunity to this strange disease.

I'm assuming most people hadn't bothered reading that far. ... Or more than a few sentences.



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Apr 15 2009, 8:46 pm MadZombie Post #20



Quote from name:Shocko
I personally thought we were ALL fire breathing dragons, not just myself.
IMA' JUST'A SAYIN BRO.



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