17th Birthday Present (Topic)

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17th Birthday Present

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Nov 17 2008, 5:47 am
By:

Ultraviolet

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Nov 17 2008, 5:47 am

Ultraviolet Post #1

For my 17th birthday (11/14), I received the following letter from my mother:

Quote

Happy 17^th Birthday, Robbie Dale!!!

For your original birthday, your father gave you his name, along with that of his all time best buddy. I have found myself recently, as I approach the golden years, becoming philosophical and realizing that there are many gifts I have failed to give you over your first 17 years. These are things to prepare you for when you leave home in less than 2 years, things to help you gracefully attain independence, things that in the end will hopefully help you be a great family man. Below please find a partial list:

#1 I've never taught you how little time it takes to make your bed and how much easier it is to find the lost jacket, socks, and underwear, you will find hidden underneath the disheveled sheets when you take 30 seconds to do it each morning. We can fix that really quick.

#2 You hardly know how to cook anything, so we'll start with your favorite dishes. I'll teach you to cook them all before you go away to college. How popular you will be among your roommates, knowing how to cook up a pot of paella for them!

#3 You're already pretty excellent with the dishes, so I'll teach you to clean up the kitchen too. And teach you how to let the people you're cooking for know that it is, in fact, their job to do the cleaning, when you're doing the cooking.

#4 I'm sure I'm behind a lesson or two in teaching you to take care of your clothes, the drying, folding, putting away. I'll teach you exactly when to pull your shirts out of the dryer when you don't have time to fuss with ironing.

#5 The cats would be thankful for you to know about keeping their litter clean.

#6 Jacob has volunteered to help teach you some maintenance chores for your car, and to teach you the intricacies of mowing and weed eating as soon as the grass grows back in the spring.

There will still be a few things: sweeping, vacuuming, the occasional dusting, straightening... but after all of these gifts I pledge to give to you, over the next year, free of charge, for your 17^th birthday, you are going to be so ready to head to college when that time comes, which will be so very soon.

With all my love, Young Man,
Your mother

P.S. We'll get together on Tuesday to figure how to make this a reality.

Nov 17 2008, 5:50 am

FatalException Post #2

Lulz, you lose, good day sir.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 6:07 am

WoAHorde Post #3

Advice can be the greatest gift of all. She offered you life survival tips and told you to take some responsibility and you simply want some tangible gift that you'll have forgotten about in three months.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 6:11 am

Kaias Post #4

This is probably the most useful birthday present you'll get.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 6:13 am

MillenniumArmy Post #5

This shows that your mother cares for you, loves you, and wants to help you build a good future. That's hardly punishment.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 6:44 am

Ultraviolet Post #6

Quote from

WoAHorde

Incorrect, I don't want tangible gifts, I just don't want to have to do this crap. These skills aren't difficult, and don't need to be taught. Each of them takes about 10 minutes to learn. This is a self-serving gift.

Nov 17 2008, 6:58 am

chuiu Post #7

Yeah it really sucks your parents are trying to prepare you for life and everything. Sorry dude, maybe you can be a basement troll in your next life?

None.

Nov 17 2008, 7:18 am

Ultraviolet Post #8

Quote from

chuiu

Yeah it really sucks your parents are trying to prepare you for life and everything. Sorry dude, maybe you can be a basement troll in your next life?

Prepare me? I think I already covered that (read above). If they taught me more useful skills like investing money wisely and stuff, I'd be a lot more appreciative. This is just crap daily tasks that I wouldn't even have to do if they taught me the skill I just mentioned. And aren't I already a basement troll (or at least room troll)?

Nov 17 2008, 7:28 am

Moose Post #9

We live in a society.

Quote from name:NerdyTerdy

I just don't want to have to do this crap.

Neither does your mother.

https://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/how-this-all-happened/
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/11/hipsters_on_food_stamps.html
https://youtu.be/vyiXaCRwZTs
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/09/how_to_be_mean_to_your_kids.html
http://lab.cccb.org/en/renata-avila-the-internet-of-creation-disappeared-now-we-have-the-internet-of-surveillance-and-control/

Nov 17 2008, 7:32 am

DT_Battlekruser Post #10

Quote

Neither does your mother.

This.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 7:38 am

Ultraviolet Post #11

Couldn't she have decided a better time to not want to have to do this crap than on my birthday? >:-0

Nov 17 2008, 7:41 am

Madroc Post #12

Quote

You're already pretty excellent with the dishes, so I'll teach you to clean up the kitchen too.

WOOHOO

Lolz, it is a great gift but not a gift customary for your birthday that she should expect you to thank her for, imo, since you obviously take that stuff for granted, although you probably should anyways.
That's a pretty sucky present, but honestly birthdays are overrated imo so you shouldn't get angry or anything.
Well, happy birthday, yo, my brother's was on Saturday, the day after your's! You kind of remind me of him when he was your age, too.

Edit:

Quote from name:NerdyTerdy

Couldn't she have decided a better time to not want to have to do this crap than on my birthday? >:-0

lol

Oh, good luck on Tuesday

None.

Nov 17 2008, 7:53 am

Ultraviolet Post #13

I think you guys are kind of missing my point. If she wants to tell me to do my own shit, fine. But she shouldn't try to pass it off as a birthday present. She shouldn't even give it to me on my birthday. This isn't the greatest gift of all, or whatever, contrary to what that gay ass movie seemed to think.

Nov 17 2008, 8:12 am

Madroc Post #14

I totally agree like I said in my post and I get your point, unlike the other people here, it seems...

Like I said, probably still not something to get angry about, just because you got nothing, which would be kind of immature..

'Night

Edit: Or we all understand and we are all just giving the male perspective of trying to solve your discomfort rather than the female perspective of sympathizing, which happens all too often.

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Nov 17 2008, 8:17 am by madroc.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 8:49 am

Riney Post #15

Thigh high affectionado

Failmom is fail

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-- Updated as of December 2021 --

Nov 17 2008, 12:29 pm

Vi3t-X Post #16

Quote from

Kaias

This is probably the most useful birthday present you'll get.

And if you don't beleive it, enjoy a somewhat reduced joy in life.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 12:48 pm

EzDay281 Post #17

Quote

just because you got nothing

It's not "nothing", it's "I want to waste your time with things I don't need to teach you to do." Negative-sum, there. If someone will get offended about anything in the first place, this seems like a reasonable candidate.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 3:30 pm

DT_Battlekruser Post #18

From the sound of the letter, he got a car from his parents last year and they are probably paying for some fraction of the recurring costs thereof. His mom is just trying to prepare him for the world; if that doesn't count as a gift you'll probably change your mind when you have to do your own laundry. Judging by the smell of people, I suppose there are those guys who never do wash their clothes anyway..

None.

Nov 17 2008, 3:43 pm

Madroc Post #19

I agree, it's the best gift by far ever, but not a customary birthday gift! That's all hes' trying to say! You made your point! Just sympathize with the man, you dolts!

(that wasn't flaming lol :lol:

)

Quote from DT BATTLEKRUSER

Yeah that's probably true and it does totally count as a gift just not as a customary birthday gift!

Sorry I'm kind of speaking for you I hope thats ok.

Quote from

EzDay281

Quote

just because you got nothing

Right.

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Nov 17 2008, 3:49 pm by madroc.

None.

Nov 17 2008, 4:42 pm

Impeached Post #20

Cooking does not take 10 minutes to learn. You said it takes 10 minutes. lulz.

Car maintenance does not take 10 minutes to learn. You said it takes 10 minutes. lulz.

About money: If you want to be successful with money, put a name to every dollar. Make a budget that encompasses everything you'll spend money on. Make sure you allocate some money into the 'blow/waste' category. Also, a good way to save money is to get cash and put it in envelopes. I.e. one 'groceries money' envelope where you only buy food from there. If you have leftover at the end of the month, save the money. Another 'clothes' envelope, only spend clothes in cash from there. Also, when you buy expensive things like cars, if you have all the money needed for the car (say $7,000 for a used car) up front, and wave the $100 bills in front of the car dealer's face, you will most likely get a discount. Same with other expensive stuff ("I have $3700 in cash here, and I want this $4000 item for 3700. Give it to me or I'll go somewhere else"). Try not to pay for cars and stuff over time, the interest makes you pay SO MUCH MORE MONEY. Just a few tippity tips.

None.

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