So, prom is coming up, and I do not usually attend these sort of events. So, I came to SEN with hopes of not getting trolled too hard.
Well, too bad. Prepare to get trolled.
Wait, people still go to proms? Never seen a point in it, never will!
I was recently invited by a friend to attend prom in a group of about a dozen people. One of those people is a girl I like.
Golly. A girl you might spend a month with given the absolute best circumstances.
We are acquaintances (we've talked to each other on occasion but never have interacted outside of school), but I am not sure whether she likes me or not.
Captain, the ship can't take much more!
This is part of a conversation we had over Facebook messages this week, (our mutual friend was in the message thread, observing).
Oh,
wow, facebook! That speaks multitudes of the quality of this relationship already! Because facebook is a respectable medium in any shape or form.
[conversation]
Me: Hmm that reminds me, I need to decide whether to go to prom or not. I'm not really the dancing type...
Potential Date: YOU'RE GOING. It's not all about the dancing! It's just one day of your life when you're young and you get to go all out, dress up, eat at the most expensive restaurant you can afford, ride in a limo, have fun with your friends, live life and take a million pictures so you can look back when you're old and remember it all.
Mutual Friend: yeah what [Potential Date] said... plus do you honestly think [my date] and I are the dancing type? Hahaha
Aw geez, the radar is picking up more contacts!
Are you sure you want to jump into that mess, captain?
Wait... do you really get to ride in a limo? Bloody Americans and your cars. Here in Canada, we ride camels. Fucking camels. Grow some balls and stride to town in a camel. She'll be all up in your shit.
I'm considering asking our mutual friend to "test the waters" and see how my potential date would feel about me asking her to prom. Is that a good idea or bad idea?
Ok, I've got a good idea. Here we go. Ready?
Ask her out if you want to.
Yep. Sure was hard! If the ship goes belly-up, well who the fuck cares. You can't want to go very much if you go to SEN to ask if you should ask. Why, this is TL girl blog material. I've never once met a girl I was remotely interested in, but if I was interested, I would plainly say so. Why not? What's the worst that can happen? Rejection? Oh boy! It'll be just like all the times I had any other social contact! Yes, it's a total waste of time but, if you want to do it, then ask. Now, me, I know better.
This is how I think it could end up:
It's black man thinking time! Because this is a hard decision.
1. Mutual friend "tests", potential date says no. Then I must decide whether it's worth it to attend prom still. I would, of course, not ask my potential date, but could still attend prom in a group and become friends.
Mutual friend may be trolling hard, or it may be entirely irrelevant and you should just ask her instead. If I were mutual friend, I'd troll, say no, ask her out myself just for yucks. But then again, I have better things to spend my time with. Like trolling SEN and building comrade Boris' bear blender.
2. Mutual friend "tests", potential date says yes. I proceed to ask the potential date out.
Oh yeah. TL girl blog material. If I could rate this, it would be 5/5 sir.
3. I skip "testing" and ask the potential date. She says yes. WIN.
Open all torpedo doors!
4. I skip "testing" and ask the potential date. She says no. FAIL. I would not attend prom.
Awesome, you save yourself a colossal amount of wasted time and trouble.
5. I skip "testing" and don't ask the potential date out. We attend prom in the group and we become friends/a couple. WIN.
You know what, I'm gonna skip this.
So, if she likes me already, I could just ask her to prom. If not, we could become friends (and use that as a springboard to boyfriend/girlfriend status) while attending prom as a group.
Okay, so let me get something straight. Real straight. Straight like that broadened letter opener in your pants. To quote,
(we've talked to each other on occasion but never have interacted outside of school), but I am not sure whether she likes me or not.
Your social contact with her is limited to the reverberating drone bore that is Western education systems, your only meaningful contact is through Facebook of all things (I'd jump ship for this reason alone personally), and you have no idea if she's even interested. Yet you want a relationship with her just for that? Right. There's a billion fish in this radiation-soaked pond, friend. Figure out if she's even your kind of material (hint: your friend can't tell you this), then ask. You could shack up and find out she's actually a he. You just don't really know. Or you could just wing it. Best case scenario, you get shacked and break up in 2 weeks and this ends up on SEN too. On second thought, go for it! I love hearing how these kinds of things crumble into a pile of manure. It's the sole reason why I visit TL since SC2 came out.
Ultimately, it all comes down to this;
Wing it.
Save yourself the trouble.
Go and drink as much as you can like everyone else does and don't care either way. Good stories for your 15 deformed half-aligator kids.
Should I tell the mutual friend that I like the potential date, but not have her "test" the potential date's feelings towards me?
I think you should consider that women respect confidence.
Why do you fear rejection? Do you fear pain? Life is full of pain, bro, just waiting to tear open your fresh anus with a wood chipper. You have not even taken the tip of it in the ass yet if you're worried about something so trivial. So, enjoy innocence while it lasts. It won't last forever. Enjoy pain. Don't waste your time with elaborate pyramid schemes or gimmicks. Ask or don't ask. Things are complicated enough without people intentionally making them needlessly more complicated.
Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.