I was sure my evening was going to be filled with glee
Little did I know, a change was coming over me
I went to meet a girl, she was only fourteen
She may have been the sluttiest girl I have seen
On the subject of having sex, she was keen
Around midnight, we popped the pills
Not too long after, I was ready to run for the hills
She started making out with me
I thought "She couldn't possible expect me to do this for free!"
Before one thing could lead to another,
I decided it was time to run to my brother
When I asked him for advice,
He said "Try to be nice,"
This was insanity, why did everyone expect so much out of me?
There was only one possibility I could see:
Lock my door, and throw away the key!
But then I thought of a brilliant plan,
All this girl was looking for was a man
I let go of my fear when I realized "My friend is here!"
However, there was just one problem:
I was cool, I knew how to play the game
He was a tool, and totally lame
How could I get her to go for him?
My prospects were looking dim.
I decided it was okay to be an ass
After all, this girl had no class
But, before I could do anything,
Something strange started happening
My stomach started to heave
Surely now she would leave!
But, no! Her mind was set
For tonight, I was going to be her pet
She told me to go clean my mouth
It seems things were headed south
I needed a quick escape,
Maybe I could shout rape?
But no, that wouldn't work
I was about to go berserk
Resignedly, we started going at it again,
I felt trapped in a lion's den
Then I became enraged,
I refused to ever feel caged
Why wouldn't this girl just go away?
It was time to make her pay!
But, again, I had a strange feeling
Before I knew it, I was kneeling
My heart began to pound
The contents of my stomach were on the ground
As I started to hiccup,
She finally decided to give up
She left to go to my room
I had just escaped certain doom
I heaved a sigh of relief
It was almost beyond belief
I went to talk to my brother
I complained that I didn't love her
He assured me everything was okay
And that today just wasn't my day
Now, I don't really know how to end this story
Except to say that that girl was really whorey
Edit: True story, btw
My Projects:
Impossible Ultraviolet | Impossible UV2 | Impossible UV3
Mercenaries III | Mercenaries 2020
Squad Defense
Legacy Projects (No guarantee of functionality in modern SC):
Pixel Adventure 2 | Space Snipers | Control the Ball
Impossible Ultraviolet | Impossible UV2 | Impossible UV3
Mercenaries III | Mercenaries 2020
Squad Defense
Legacy Projects (No guarantee of functionality in modern SC):
Pixel Adventure 2 | Space Snipers | Control the Ball
