I've written down everything he says for it, but there's two sections that I can't seem to understand exactly what he was saying. I wrote down what it sounded like to me, but I'm pretty sure that's not correct. Anyone want to listen the thing and see if you can figure out what it's saying? It's bugging me. Parts that I didn't get quite right are bolded.
Quote
So I've been playin' Kingdom Hearts 2. For those of you that don't know what Kingdom Hearts 2 is, basically Final Fantasy and Disney decided to get together
and fuck and have a fucked up flipper baby. But I masturbate to fucked up flipper baby porn, so this works out perfect for me.
My friends are like "YOU GOTTA PLAY THIS GAME. YOU GO TO SEA BOAT WILLIE WORLD. YOU GO TO TRON WORLD. YOU GO TO MULAN'S HOME TOWN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOU WANT TO DO THAT, BUT YOU DO AND IT'S SO MUCH FUN YOU WANT TO GO BACK!" And I trust my friends, cause they watch Disney Afternoons. They like Gargoyles,
and Darkwing Duck, and Ducktales, and Gummy Bears, and all those important pieces of animation that we all know and love.
So I trust my friends, and I play Kingdom Hearts 2, without even knowing what happened in Kingdom Hearts 1! I know what you're thinking: "MC, THAT'S CRAZY.
YOU DON'T KNOW THE EXPOSITION, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED." I KNOW. I'm a rebel gamer, that's how I do things. I go into it blind, without knowin' what
the fuck's going on. Because I love Japan, they got lobster cola, and panties with dookies in vending machines. I love it.
So I play this game, and for like 4 million years, I'm stuck in this town called Hollow Bastion. And I'm not even the main character. I'm Roxas. The main
character's Sora, and I keep havin' dreams about the main character.
Meanwhile, Tony Soprano's in a coma. There's no instant gratification. I'm gettin' a little bored. But my friends are like "KEEP PLAYIN', KEEP PLAYIN',
EVENTUALLY DISNEY CHARACTERS ARE COMIN' OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE. IT'S AWESOME, JUST STICK WITH IT." So I do, and I go to the bulletin board, and I look at all
the jobs, and I do all the errands, and I get enough money to buy a train ticket, to get on the dope ass Disney train to go to the fun fucking part of the
game. That's bullshit. It took me like 4 years. I didn't see so much as a Sebastian the Crab for like a hundred millenia.
Meanwhile, you're playing Resident Evil 4 and it's like "BITCH, ZOMBIES COMIN' UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW. SHOOT EM IN THE HEAD, SHOOT EM. GRAB THE SHOTGUN, YOU
DON'T NEED TO LOAD IT, WE DID THAT SHIT FOR YOU. WHAT ARE YOU PRESSIN' SELECT FOR? YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE. BITCH, ZOMBIES IN THE ROOM, HIS
AXE IS ON FIRE, HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS. SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD!!!"
And then you go back to Kingdom Hearts 2, and it's all these really lame cut scenes. They're in the back alley, it's all anime bullshit with their hands on
their hips, and they're like "Man! I hope we solve this mystery!" And nothin' happens!
Meanwhile, you go back to Resident Evil 4 and it's like "BITCH, THIS AIN'T A CUTSCENE, PRESS A! PRESS A!! YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO SMOKE A BOWL, YOU'RE STILL
PLAYIN'! JUMP GYPSY! COME ON, JUMP! President's daughter's been kidnapped. It's up to us!"
and fuck and have a fucked up flipper baby. But I masturbate to fucked up flipper baby porn, so this works out perfect for me.
My friends are like "YOU GOTTA PLAY THIS GAME. YOU GO TO SEA BOAT WILLIE WORLD. YOU GO TO TRON WORLD. YOU GO TO MULAN'S HOME TOWN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOU WANT TO DO THAT, BUT YOU DO AND IT'S SO MUCH FUN YOU WANT TO GO BACK!" And I trust my friends, cause they watch Disney Afternoons. They like Gargoyles,
and Darkwing Duck, and Ducktales, and Gummy Bears, and all those important pieces of animation that we all know and love.
So I trust my friends, and I play Kingdom Hearts 2, without even knowing what happened in Kingdom Hearts 1! I know what you're thinking: "MC, THAT'S CRAZY.
YOU DON'T KNOW THE EXPOSITION, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED." I KNOW. I'm a rebel gamer, that's how I do things. I go into it blind, without knowin' what
the fuck's going on. Because I love Japan, they got lobster cola, and panties with dookies in vending machines. I love it.
So I play this game, and for like 4 million years, I'm stuck in this town called Hollow Bastion. And I'm not even the main character. I'm Roxas. The main
character's Sora, and I keep havin' dreams about the main character.
Meanwhile, Tony Soprano's in a coma. There's no instant gratification. I'm gettin' a little bored. But my friends are like "KEEP PLAYIN', KEEP PLAYIN',
EVENTUALLY DISNEY CHARACTERS ARE COMIN' OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE. IT'S AWESOME, JUST STICK WITH IT." So I do, and I go to the bulletin board, and I look at all
the jobs, and I do all the errands, and I get enough money to buy a train ticket, to get on the dope ass Disney train to go to the fun fucking part of the
game. That's bullshit. It took me like 4 years. I didn't see so much as a Sebastian the Crab for like a hundred millenia.
Meanwhile, you're playing Resident Evil 4 and it's like "BITCH, ZOMBIES COMIN' UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW. SHOOT EM IN THE HEAD, SHOOT EM. GRAB THE SHOTGUN, YOU
DON'T NEED TO LOAD IT, WE DID THAT SHIT FOR YOU. WHAT ARE YOU PRESSIN' SELECT FOR? YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE. BITCH, ZOMBIES IN THE ROOM, HIS
AXE IS ON FIRE, HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS. SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD!!!"
And then you go back to Kingdom Hearts 2, and it's all these really lame cut scenes. They're in the back alley, it's all anime bullshit with their hands on
their hips, and they're like "Man! I hope we solve this mystery!" And nothin' happens!
Meanwhile, you go back to Resident Evil 4 and it's like "BITCH, THIS AIN'T A CUTSCENE, PRESS A! PRESS A!! YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO SMOKE A BOWL, YOU'RE STILL
PLAYIN'! JUMP GYPSY! COME ON, JUMP! President's daughter's been kidnapped. It's up to us!"
Edit: Figured it out.
Post has been edited 2 time(s), last time on Jan 28 2008, 2:50 am by NerdyTerdy.
My Projects:
Impossible Ultraviolet | Impossible UV2 | Impossible UV3
Mercenaries III | Mercenaries 2020
Squad Defense
Legacy Projects (No guarantee of functionality in modern SC):
Pixel Adventure 2 | Space Snipers | Control the Ball
Impossible Ultraviolet | Impossible UV2 | Impossible UV3
Mercenaries III | Mercenaries 2020
Squad Defense
Legacy Projects (No guarantee of functionality in modern SC):
Pixel Adventure 2 | Space Snipers | Control the Ball
