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I'm working on a song and..., ...I'm not sure what direction to take it in.

Creator: Tharuk Zhal Omaenha
Time: Apr 11 2012, 2:52 am

Post #1     Tharuk Zhal Omaenha Apr 11 2012, 2:52 am

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Hey guys, please check this out and tell me what you think of the attached song. I need suggestions on where to take this piece next.
Attachments:
mp3 file
lame_2.mp3 (1.99 mb)
16 hits.

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Post #2     lil-Inferno Apr 11 2012, 3:17 am

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Reminded me of a quaint little village at first, and then the wtf part came.

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Post #3     Bar Refaeli Apr 11 2012, 3:33 am

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Farewell, fair cruelty.
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Quote from lil-Inferno
Reminded me of a quaint little village at first, and then the wtf part came.
Pretty much took the words straight from my head.

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Post #4     Tharuk Zhal Omaenha Apr 11 2012, 3:37 am

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I'm looking for some constructive criticism. How should I improve the piece?

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Post #5     TiKels Apr 11 2012, 4:16 am

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It's like if dubstep, every love scene in media ever, and Katamari Damacy had some sort of disfigured child.

You're going big places.

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Post #6     RIVE Apr 11 2012, 5:38 am

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I say keep going with the trumpet and raspberry (whatever you want to call that vocal work).
Have the trumpet go higher while the vocals get drastically ballistic then, after a bit of that, drop the trumpet and vocals and cut to something similar to the beginning. Nice and subtle. After this bridge, conclude it with the trumpet and vocals again.

"Cool story, brah.
It's a shame I really don't agree with a single argument you made."

-mikachu93
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Post #7     Tharuk Zhal Omaenha Apr 12 2012, 6:44 am

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Okay here's a revised version. Tell me what you think.
Attachments:
mp3 file
lame_5.mp3 (2.22 mb)
9 hits.

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Post #8     RIVE Apr 12 2012, 9:19 pm

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:wut: You changed the entire tone of the song. It is not the same song in the least! It is a whole other song! :crazy:

"Cool story, brah.
It's a shame I really don't agree with a single argument you made."

-mikachu93
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Post #9     EzTerix Apr 19 2012, 10:26 pm

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First one sounded like background porno music, and then midway a guy is just blowing into a vagina and making sounds. (99% sure I was hearing a violin in the back not a trumpet... LOL?)

Second one much nicer lmao.

Ultimately it's your vision so I don't know how to tell you to make your own song but

Sounds like it contains (excuse me if I'm completely off) a guitar, piano, noticeable bass guitar, an ambient backing (chick choir hehe), and some interesting drum thing, and that new sound not sure what to call it but its a melody in the song and keeps going except for when its replaced by the guitar, comes back in and when the instruments first start fading bit by bits

Sounds a little like it's soft, minimalistic, ambient, and easy listening. With your own interesting touch in choice of melodies and that one instrument (what is it? lol)

Hopefully you'll figure something out or move to something else.

Edit:

If you made it into an almost soft pop (which you shouldn't LOL) I could see it turning into around 1:36 to 1:55 in this song

sorry it just popped into my head haha no idea why....I also don't listen to Dido so ... lol
This post was edited 5 times, last edit by EzTerix: Apr 19 2012, 10:57 pm.

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