Staredit Network > Forums > Media, Art, and Literature > Topic: I'm working on a song and...
I'm working on a song and...
Apr 11 2012, 2:52 am
By: Tharuk Zhal Omaenha  

Apr 11 2012, 2:52 am Tharuk Zhal Omaenha Post #1



Hey guys, please check this out and tell me what you think of the attached song. I need suggestions on where to take this piece next.

Attachments:
lame_2.mp3
Hits: 16 Size: 2036.78kb



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Apr 11 2012, 3:17 am lil-Inferno Post #2

Just here for the pie

Reminded me of a quaint little village at first, and then the wtf part came.




Apr 11 2012, 3:33 am Bar Refaeli Post #3



Quote from lil-Inferno
Reminded me of a quaint little village at first, and then the wtf part came.
Pretty much took the words straight from my head.



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Apr 11 2012, 3:37 am Tharuk Zhal Omaenha Post #4



I'm looking for some constructive criticism. How should I improve the piece?



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Apr 11 2012, 4:16 am TiKels Post #5



It's like if dubstep, every love scene in media ever, and Katamari Damacy had some sort of disfigured child.

You're going big places.



"If a topic that clearly interest noone needs to be closed to underline the "we don't want this here" message, is up to debate."

-NudeRaider

Apr 11 2012, 5:38 am RIVE Post #6

Just Here For The Pie

I say keep going with the trumpet and raspberry (whatever you want to call that vocal work).
Have the trumpet go higher while the vocals get drastically ballistic then, after a bit of that, drop the trumpet and vocals and cut to something similar to the beginning. Nice and subtle. After this bridge, conclude it with the trumpet and vocals again.



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Apr 12 2012, 6:44 am Tharuk Zhal Omaenha Post #7



Okay here's a revised version. Tell me what you think.

Attachments:
lame_5.mp3
Hits: 9 Size: 2271.47kb



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Apr 12 2012, 9:19 pm RIVE Post #8

Just Here For The Pie

:wut: You changed the entire tone of the song. It is not the same song in the least! It is a whole other song! :crazy:



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Apr 19 2012, 10:26 pm EzTerix Post #9



First one sounded like background porno music, and then midway a guy is just blowing into a vagina and making sounds. (99% sure I was hearing a violin in the back not a trumpet... LOL?)

Second one much nicer lmao.

Ultimately it's your vision so I don't know how to tell you to make your own song but

Sounds like it contains (excuse me if I'm completely off) a guitar, piano, noticeable bass guitar, an ambient backing (chick choir hehe), and some interesting drum thing, and that new sound not sure what to call it but its a melody in the song and keeps going except for when its replaced by the guitar, comes back in and when the instruments first start fading bit by bits

Sounds a little like it's soft, minimalistic, ambient, and easy listening. With your own interesting touch in choice of melodies and that one instrument (what is it? lol)

Hopefully you'll figure something out or move to something else.

Edit:

If you made it into an almost soft pop (which you shouldn't LOL) I could see it turning into around 1:36 to 1:55 in this song

sorry it just popped into my head haha no idea why....I also don't listen to Dido so ... lol

Post has been edited 5 time(s), last time on Apr 19 2012, 10:57 pm by EzTerix.



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