Cue the Babylon 5 music, buy some baby cats, and make an appointment with your eye doctor, because it's time for... (Drumroll, please)

FLEETS OF TERROR, CARNAGE, DEATH, DESTRUCTION, AND ANNIHILATION OF ALL THAT EXISTS, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING: THE BATTLE FOR KITTENS

(End drumroll.)

You might be asking yourself, "What the fuck is this?" Well, I will tell you exactly what the fuck this is! It's a fleet mod I made out of boredom, inspired by ITAS and Etu Nimtsal.

First, a bit of backstory about the mod:

*ahem*

In the year 2337, Dr. Gae Fag discovered that kittens are natural entropy enhancers. In layman's terms, this means that kitten + Brownian motion (eg. a cup of coffee) = energy. This lead to a novel form of space craft propulsion, the fagdrive (which is little more than a bunch of kittens in a vat of very strong coffee connected to an engine). Ships equipped with fagdrives can travel much faster than conventional ships, reaching so-called "Ludicrous Speed" in a retardedly short amount of time. However, the true power of the fagdrive was not discovered until the year 2377, when a fagdrive-powered ship, the USMFSSB (Unites States Mother Fucking Space Ship, Bitch) Assfucker suffered an engine breakdown and exploded. The power of the explosion was enough to rip a hole in the space-time continu-whatever-the-hell-it's-called and create a wormhole (or asshole, as they have been known ever since). Scientists soon found how to create localized wormholes by using smaller fagdrive-based explosion, and how to control them. This enabled space ships to teleport around the universe. Everything seemed to be going fine until the explorer ship USMFSSB Dick Suck warped to the Penis Cluster and was attacked by aliens native to that region of space. The Dick Suck attempted to warp back to Sol, but the aliens were able to track it and invade Earth. Since dubbed the Generic Otherworldy Invaders with Insanely Advanced Technology (GOIwIAT), they have taken over the Moon and all of our orbiting space platforms and have began invading Earth proper.

Three months after the disastrous First Contact with the GOIwIAT, the United Nations realized that we were not going to win the war against the GOIwIAT with conventional tactics. So, they hired a man, known only as Miskatu Esk, to reorganize their army into something that could defeat the GOIwIAT. Esk quickly thought of a plan. He put together the Desperate Alliance of Humanity for the Defense of Earth (DAoHftDoE) and used his large loli collection to entice vast numbers of pedophiles to join his cause. After establishing automated loli factories across Earth, Esk had the resources to keep recruiting pedophiles in huge numbers.

Early on in the war, both sides were hampered substantially by the scarcity of Aluminum, the main material used in the construction of starship hulls. To counter this, DAoMftDoE scientists developed the High-Kinetic-Energy-Activated Aluminum Generator (HKEAAG), a device which can convert explosions into Aluminum. The device was so efficient it actually created more Alluminum than the equation E=mc² and the Law of Conservation of Energy would indicate is possible. This effectively disproved half of modern science, but no one was sober enough to notice. This gave DAoMftDoE fleets the ability to obtain Aluminum the ability to get Aluminum by making enemy ships go boom, but most commanders soon realized that it was more effective to destroy their own ships to get Aluminum from their explosions instead. With the development of the ability to revive the dead pilots at a cloning facility, any moral objections to this tactic were removed. When the GOIwIAT stole the HKEAAG techknowlege (or however the fuck it's spelled), they also exhibited the same blow-up-allied-shit behavior.

Anyway. That's that.



The mod is currently in development, but I am releasing a demo. It is far from finished, but I think it should be playable.

Here are a few things to watch out for:
[collapseRead me!]-At any point, press "K" to teleport the currently selected unit and all nearby units to any point on the map. This costs 300 Kittens (gas). (Note that it will deduct gas for each unit you have selected because I suck dicks.)
-The GOIwIAT Anti-Aircraft Artillery Barrage Cannon may be overpowered.
-The DAoHftDoE Advanced Armored Auxiliary Anti-Artillery Aircraft may be underpowered.
-The DAoHftDoE get Alcohol (supply) by building Floating Distilleries (overlords) at the Pedophilia Center. I only bring this up because everyone I've played with is like "How do you get alcohol?"
-Some upgrades don't work.
-Some units don't have custom quotes yet.
-A lot of strings are missing.
-I didn't do race selection strings yet. To select the DAoHftDoE, pick Terran. To select the GOIwIAT, pick Protoss. Zerg are unsupported.[/collapse]





Let me know if you encounter any bugs.

Special thanks to:
Polaris, for ripping some awesome explosions
IskatuMesk, for supplying the custom ship models
ForTheSwarm, for balance work
New-/Hydrolisk, for the AAABC and Mobile Airplane Shooter graphics
CaptainWill, for the Charger and Missile Boat quotes

Download URL: http://www.filefactory.com/file/ah6d00h/n/FoTCDDaAoAtEtUaEtBfK_rar

Post has been edited 2 time(s), last time on Oct 30 2009, 6:15 pm by TassadarZeratul.

You can kitten warp a fleet with only one unit casting the reverse recall :x

That's intentional.

question: are you planning on working on code; xanadu anytime soon? cause it sounds awesome.

on topic, maybe i just fail at sc or soemthing but the aliens are insanely overpowered

Yes. It is still being worked on.

In what way? They should be balanced. Are you referring to their ability to rush AAABCs? I am aware of this and am attempting to find a fix. (I'll probably just remove their ground attack.)

The name of the mod is too short.

I clicked the thread to see what kind of spam it was. I lol'd. The name is awesome

The game keeps crashing for me

You're on the wrong patch. It will crash on anything besides 1.15.1.

That could be a problem lol, thanks man

Alright, turns out that no matter how hard I try, I can't stay away from modding. So, I'm reviving this mod. The next version will have several new features:

-A new DAoMftDoE unit: The Flying Fighter Factory. It's basically the GOIwIAT Null Vortex Maker, except that it's summons cost Kittens, not energy.
-A new computer-only mini-race, the Space Ameboes. They will spawn units at random points on the map every so often and run a suicide loop with them.
-Better iscripting, escpecially when it comes to playsnd.
-Better balancing: The GOIwIAT Anti-Aircraft Artillery Barrage Cannon will lose it's ground attack (which doesn't make sense for an AA unit anyway) and the Roflcopter will be changed to a ground-only attacker. This way, the DAoMftDoE won't be forced to rush Missile Boats.
-Custom quotes for the DAoMftDoE Advanced Armored Auxilliary Anti-Artillery Aircraft and the GOIwIAT Anti-Aircraft Artillery Barrage Cannon, Warp-in-er, Thing That Goes Boom, and any other units I didn't get around to doing quotes for.
-Nuclear Wessel will recieve a new attack animation that ISN'T the same as the Missile Boat's.
-A lot of string work, especially spells and unit ranks.
-Totally custom graphics for ALL units. Not IskatuMesk or New-/Hydrolisk graphics, new ones. (Well, maybe not. My models look like Zergling crap atm, so this could take a while.)

EDIT: I'm trying to think of a new economy system. Preferably something really fucked up. Any ideas?

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Oct 29 2009, 7:38 pm by TassadarZeratul. Reason: You lose The Game.

Killing your units creates more money than you spent on them (maybe 33%)!
ex. Killing a 75 mineral unit would give you 100 minerals in return.

I actually might do that.

You might have to factor unit HP when deciding how many minerals to return. So units with less hp would give less minerals.

Now I need to think of an explaination for this insane economy system. That could be hard. >.>

@above: Probably not.

Okay, it's official. I'm going with FTS's idea, but somewhat modified. Here's the current economy system:
-Kittens (gas) are still mined from a geyser.
-Whenever you kill a unit (enemy or allied), you get 150% of the Aluminum (minerals) spent on it. (Aluminum has replaced Loli as the primary resource.)

Here's the explanation for this system:


Post has been edited 10 time(s), last time on Oct 30 2009, 1:24 pm by TassadarZeratul. Reason: You lose The Game.

How will you determine what value to use as the price?

I.e. how do you determine the price of the dying unit?

EDIT: Oh, I see what you mean. I'm hardcoding it to each unit. This means that it'll mess up UMS, probably quite a lot. eg. In Temple Siege, you'll get an insane mineral reward for killing a ling, which makes Summoner ridiculously underpowered.

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Oct 31 2009, 9:05 pm by TassadarZeratul. Reason: You lose The Game.

I'm looking for people to test out the new economy system. Hit me up on MSN if you're interested.

lololol. Just saying. And good luck with the mod.