FLEETS OF TERROR, CARNAGE, DEATH, DESTRUCTION, AND ANNIHILATION OF ALL THAT EXISTS, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING: THE BATTLE FOR KITTENS
(End drumroll.)
You might be asking yourself, "What the fuck is this?" Well, I will tell you exactly what the fuck this is! It's a fleet mod I made out of boredom, inspired by ITAS and Etu Nimtsal.
First, a bit of backstory about the mod:
*ahem*
In the year 2337, Dr. Gae Fag discovered that kittens are natural entropy enhancers. In layman's terms, this means that kitten + Brownian motion (eg. a cup of coffee) = energy. This lead to a novel form of space craft propulsion, the fagdrive (which is little more than a bunch of kittens in a vat of very strong coffee connected to an engine). Ships equipped with fagdrives can travel much faster than conventional ships, reaching so-called "Ludicrous Speed" in a retardedly short amount of time. However, the true power of the fagdrive was not discovered until the year 2377, when a fagdrive-powered ship, the USMFSSB (Unites States Mother Fucking Space Ship, Bitch) Assfucker suffered an engine breakdown and exploded. The power of the explosion was enough to rip a hole in the space-time continu-whatever-the-hell-it's-called and create a wormhole (or asshole, as they have been known ever since). Scientists soon found how to create localized wormholes by using smaller fagdrive-based explosion, and how to control them. This enabled space ships to teleport around the universe. Everything seemed to be going fine until the explorer ship USMFSSB Dick Suck warped to the Penis Cluster and was attacked by aliens native to that region of space. The Dick Suck attempted to warp back to Sol, but the aliens were able to track it and invade Earth. Since dubbed the Generic Otherworldy Invaders with Insanely Advanced Technology (GOIwIAT), they have taken over the Moon and all of our orbiting space platforms and have began invading Earth proper.
Three months after the disastrous First Contact with the GOIwIAT, the United Nations realized that we were not going to win the war against the GOIwIAT with conventional tactics. So, they hired a man, known only as Miskatu Esk, to reorganize their army into something that could defeat the GOIwIAT. Esk quickly thought of a plan. He put together the Desperate Alliance of Humanity for the Defense of Earth (DAoHftDoE) and used his large loli collection to entice vast numbers of pedophiles to join his cause. After establishing automated loli factories across Earth, Esk had the resources to keep recruiting pedophiles in huge numbers.
Early on in the war, both sides were hampered substantially by the scarcity of Aluminum, the main material used in the construction of starship hulls. To counter this, DAoMftDoE scientists developed the High-Kinetic-Energy-Activated Aluminum Generator (HKEAAG), a device which can convert explosions into Aluminum. The device was so efficient it actually created more Alluminum than the equation E=mc2 and the Law of Conservation of Energy would indicate is possible. This effectively disproved half of modern science, but no one was sober enough to notice. This gave DAoMftDoE fleets the ability to obtain Aluminum the ability to get Aluminum by making enemy ships go boom, but most commanders soon realized that it was more effective to destroy their own ships to get Aluminum from their explosions instead. With the development of the ability to revive the dead pilots at a cloning facility, any moral objections to this tactic were removed. When the GOIwIAT stole the HKEAAG techknowlege (or however the fuck it's spelled), they also exhibited the same blow-up-allied-shit behavior.
Anyway. That's that.
The mod is currently in development, but I am releasing a demo. It is far from finished, but I think it should be playable.
Here are a few things to watch out for:
[collapseRead me!]-At any point, press "K" to teleport the currently selected unit and all nearby units to any point on the map. This costs 300 Kittens (gas). (Note that it will deduct gas for each unit you have selected because I suck dicks.)
-The GOIwIAT Anti-Aircraft Artillery Barrage Cannon may be overpowered.
-The DAoHftDoE Advanced Armored Auxiliary Anti-Artillery Aircraft may be underpowered.
-The DAoHftDoE get Alcohol (supply) by building Floating Distilleries (overlords) at the Pedophilia Center. I only bring this up because everyone I've played with is like "How do you get alcohol?"
-Some upgrades don't work.
-Some units don't have custom quotes yet.
-A lot of strings are missing.
-I didn't do race selection strings yet. To select the DAoHftDoE, pick Terran. To select the GOIwIAT, pick Protoss. Zerg are unsupported.[/collapse]
DAoHftDoE unit list:
GOIwIAT unit list:
Let me know if you encounter any bugs.
Special thanks to:
Polaris, for ripping some awesome explosions
IskatuMesk, for supplying the custom ship models
ForTheSwarm, for balance work
New-/Hydrolisk, for the AAABC and Mobile Airplane Shooter graphics
CaptainWill, for the Charger and Missile Boat quotes
Download URL: http://www.filefactory.com/file/ah6d00h/n/FoTCDDaAoAtEtUaEtBfK_rar
Post has been edited 2 time(s), last time on Oct 30 2009, 6:15 pm by TassadarZeratul.
None.