STF mod creator, Modcrafters.com admin, CampaignCreations.org staff
Dear The Great Yam:
Talking really is the best first step. It helps you feel less alone. Thoughts and emotions can get confusing and overwhelming, but by containing them within words, you can find a semblance of structure and order. You can begin to sort through your feelings, giving you a better sense of control.
A live, physical therapist who knows what they’re talking about is great to have, but giving anyone our full trust is hard. We instinctively fear and crave judgment. The anonymity of the internet, however, may give us a greater sense of safety to be how we want to be, and say what we need to say.
Next step is setting goals.
Dear Centreri:
I didn't ask what his definition of fair was.
Nor did I say you did.
I stated what he's saying and said that I disagree with that definition. No need to 'explain' anything to me.
Yet you ended your argument with "Life isn't fair," contradicting NerdyTerdy's stance without any support. You were using your own definition of fair without really defining it. You cannot effectively argue a point that way.
I 'explained' to make my initial point clear ("You're arguing with your definition of fair versus a different definition of fair."), by contrasting his working definition against what I could only assume was your own given what you provided (that life isn't fair and fairness is dictated by what actually happens and not the chance of it happening).
As for my definition, that is incorrect.
Cool. I had no way of knowing exactly what your definition was, since you didn't provide it, so I went with an educated guess (even asking you to correct me). I was able to do that because my argument did not hinge on exactly what your definition was, just that it's different from NerdyTerdy's.
My definition of fair is simply everyone getting the same chances to do whatever they want.
Now you're getting somewhere.
As his response being irrelevant, not at all.
That's not what I said. Your
assumptions on his response are irrelevant. You can ask the question, but predicting his response like that is a petty smear. Regardless of how you
think he'll reply, you aren't him, you don't know him or the life he's led, so you are not in a position to speak for him.
I was simply stating that he's only in favor of such a random and cruel system of 'fair' because life dealt him kings. Therefore, he doesn't get the cruelty in such a system and insists its fair.
Whether true or not, those are all assumptions.
What about yourself, by the way? Has life not dealt you kings? What special life experiences have bestowed you with the insight into how cruel life is? You use a starving African child as your example. Are you from Africa? Were you a child in that situation?
Even the immaterialistic, oh-so-altruistic you wouldn't call it fair when, after eating that mud, you see a magazine (or, hell, something) of some rich kid dining on whatever rich kids dine on.
I wouldn't, eh? Another assumption.
For myself, the difference is that I don't
expect life to be fair. The word isn't even part of my vocabulary when describing life. Life is neither fair nor unfair to me, it just is what it is.
An African child could look down at that magazine and be angry, concluding life is not fair. But that is not the
only perspective one could take. He could look down at that paper and want to
be that kid. No anger at all, but rather a hope, a dream, maybe even a goal. When you see what is possible in life, you could be jealous, or you could be motivated. It all hinges on your outlook. Those who never stop trying, never actually fail.
Dapperdan
