Mwa ha ha ha ha.

I got an e-mail to invite two people to the beta. You can win one by telling an awesome joke.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a standard joke, but the top two posts within the next week that make me laugh the most get a beta key.

A boy had a really scabby mother. One day, he went down to breakfast and noticed something.

'Mum, where have your scabs gone?'

'Shut up and eat your cornflakes, son.'

I was walking by the drug rehab center and saw a sign on their lawn reading "Keep off the grass."

EDIT: Another one: There are two fish in a tank. One fish asked the other: "So how do I drive this thing?"

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 18 2010, 4:52 am by stickynote.

What kind of animals come out of a porno store?

brownchicken brown coooow

[deleted]

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jul 5 2018, 4:07 am by DavidJCobb. Reason: edgy

Davids joke was funny.

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

What did the computer say to the hot secretary? "You y
turn my floppy disc into a hard drive."

Another one: This topic.

Best joke ever:

Dark_Marine

Winrar

*hugs Dark_Marine*

Moses is coming down from a mountain with three stone tablets in hand. Each tablet has five sentences written on it. As he approaches a nearby city, he sees a group of people and says: "Behold, I have come forth with these fifteen-" (He slips and drops one tablet. It shatters.) "-these ten commandments!"

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

A squirrel is frolicking through a forest when suddenly he comes across a rabbit... doin' some weed.

The squirrel says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?!?!? We're animals, we aren't supposed to do that!" So the rabbit agrees and says, "Hey, you're right, we aren't supposed to be doing this!"

So the squirrel and rabbit frolic through the forest when they come across a raccoon... doin' some cocaine. RAAAAACCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

The squirrel says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?!?!? We're animals, we aren't supposed to do that!" So the raccoon agrees and says, "Hey, you're right, we aren't supposed to be doing this!"

So the squirrel, rabbit, and raccoon frolic through the forest when they come across a bear... doin' some heroin.

The squirrel says, "WHAT ARE YOU DO--" and before he could finish, the bear kills him. The rabbit asks the bear why he murdered the now mutilated squirrel and the bear replies, "Because every time that squirrel gets hopped up on ecstasy he makes me run through the forest like a dumbass." THE END.

It's original by the way ;o.

I think this should end sooner than a week because the beta is ending soon

It'll end today!

Well in that case 13Stallion wins in my opinion. I didn't want a beta key anyway ;o.

Ahem, there were two beta keys being given away.
Are we allowed to tell more than one joke?

A nun sits in the bus when a hippie comes by and seats himself next to her.
The hippie asks: "Excuse me, would you like to hump with me?"
The nun: "Dear god, no, I can't do that I'm a servant of god!"
The hippie doesn't give up and tries again, but of course she still refuses. The next bus stop while the hippie gets off the bus the bus driver grabs him and whispers to him: "If you wanna shag her, then let me give you a word of advice: Every evening at 10pm she's at the cemetery and prays."
The hippie gives thanks to him and follows the bus driver's advice. At 10pm he comes to the cemetery wearing jesus garments and sees the nun praying. He steps up to her and exclaims: "I am Jesus and god commanded me to make love to you!"
The nun looks up in surprise and says: "If you are really Jesus and god has commanded you to do that, then by all means, but please from behind so I don't have to show my face."
After 5 minutes of wild banging the hippie pulls off his clothes and shouts: "I fooled you, I'm the hippie!"
Thereupon the nun pulls off her clothes and shouts: "I fooled you, I'm the bus driver!"

Excuse me if there are some mistakes, grammatical or otherwise, I translated it into English. But you should get the point either way.

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 19 2010, 8:12 am by NudeRaider.

I've heard that joke before nude. Still funny though.

You know what's a good joke? Women's basketball.

Only one that made me laugh.

I had a terrible dream last night. I dreamed I was a muffler. When I woke up, I was exhausted.