Joke telling contest
Back* from the grave
Better syntax might've helped that, 2.
To get a prostitute you need time and money... nah that doesn't work. Maybe time but not all that much money 
Here's another one:
Why don't women get run over by cars?
Because there aren't any cars in the kitchen.
----
One busy day in Heaven, three people were standing outside the gate of heaven. The guard says:
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 25 2010, 2:20 am by Picturesque.
Here's another one:
Why don't women get run over by cars?
Because there aren't any cars in the kitchen.
----
One busy day in Heaven, three people were standing outside the gate of heaven. The guard says:
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 25 2010, 2:20 am by Picturesque.
None.
What's so great about twenty-eight year olds?
There's twenty of them!
There's twenty of them!
None.
Oh well contest is over but heres some more, SC2 jokes this time 
Yo momma's so fat she used chrono boost on the oven cooking a pizza.
Yo momma's so dumb, she called the police when Stalkers followed her around.
Yo momma's so stupid she wears SPF-15 to protect against Void Rays.
Yo momma's so fat she used chrono boost on the oven cooking a pizza.
Yo momma's so dumb, she called the police when Stalkers followed her around.
Yo momma's so stupid she wears SPF-15 to protect against Void Rays.
None.
Quote from Picturesque
One busy day in Heaven, three people were standing outside the gate of heaven. The guard says:
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
rofl this was great
I'm bad for joke telling, so i'll pass this time
Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 26 2010, 1:39 pm by Kusari. Reason: too long
None.
[2024-5-04. : 1:05 am]
Vrael -- I won't stand for people going around saying things like im not a total madman[2024-5-03. : 2:26 pm]
UndeadStar -- Vrael, since the ad messages get removed, you look like a total madman for someone that come late[2024-5-02. : 1:19 pm]
Vrael -- IM GONNA MANUFACTURE SOME SPORTBALL EQUIPMENT WHERE THE SUN DONT SHINE BOY[2024-5-02. : 1:35 am]
Ultraviolet -- VraelVrael shouted: NEED SOME SPORTBALL> WE GOT YOUR SPORTBALL EQUIPMENT MANUFACTURING
Gonna put deez sportballs in your mouth