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TOA reaches halfway mark
Oct 21 2008, 9:24 pm
By: IskatuMesk  

Oct 21 2008, 9:24 pm IskatuMesk Post #1

Lord of the Locker Room

A charge of nearly six years, my novel TOA has finally finished Segment 2, barring editing and detailing. That is 878 pages, and is considered the halfway mark.

With a strong shape of what will evolve the novel's characters, plot, and world, I am in a strong position to charge through Segments 3 and 4 to reach the end of the novel if I can focus on writing.

Segments 3 and 4 will focus on the characters and how they have changed through the trials of their lives and how they will change further to overcome the greatest challenge yet. They will be the next evolution of my skills as a writer and storyteller, and the pages to come will challenge my ability to write and my knowledge of English beyond their limits.

In addition, for those who love action, I have planned some truly epic battles for the coming events that should satiate your love for carnage. Out of the very few people who've actually read the novel, all have loved the combat sequences and said that they looked forward to more duels of the sort.

TOA's plot is like an intertwined rope, carefully laiden strands interwoven to form a strong link. Now that rope is becoming larger, and many questions and mysteries left unanswered will be revealed, and the main plot of the story will start gaining true momentum. Everything until this point has been laying the foundation for the epic conclusion to my life's work. I pray I will have the strength to bring about that conclusion, then return to the rest of the novel and heavily edit it to bring it to the same level of quality.

TOA is my life's work. I will not squander it.

For the sake of SEN, I'll copy and paste a very tiny portion to give an idea of what this novel is about. Note all of the formatting, and there was quite a lot, has been lost.

Quote
It was carnage. It was devastation. He had seen it before, though. It effected him less and less with every passing day. To become accustomed to seeing one's people in such ruin... he didn't know how he had become this way.

"Show yourself, demon." Sarenubus commanded to the shadows. He slowly turned, taking in his surroundings. A ruin of floating steel-blue wrecks, corpses of Zelconian, Galorians, and assorted DyiithJhinn soldiers trapped in time. In the lightless distance, ships, an entire fleet, caught within the Dark Matter. Their lifeless hulks spanning as far as the eye could see.

The air smelled of metal, and the distance sounded a droning metallic hum. It felt as if he was eclipsed by the hulks, as if they moved to surround him, even though they were no longer in motion at all. As he started forward, a horizon formed in the distance. A light crested on its mass, and Sarenubus came to the grim realization it was Rumado he was seeing. A thousand searing sermons across its surface, frozen in time. Endless wrecks and ruins stood still in time, surrounding the demon battlegroup. These wrecks had not been here when he trapped the fleet.

Sarenubus also came to the realization he was standing on the surface of a Dreadnaught. The cold, lifeless blue that stretched on for endless miles seemed hostile, as if it tried to resist his presence. The air itself seemed dry, void of even the tiniest shreds of warmth.

The Galorian warrior marched on for what seemed like an eternity before he found more shapes. Four Galorian flagships, frozen upon the moments of being torn apart by the surrounding fleet. There was no glow of weaponsfire, no damage from the Dreadnaught's weapons. No. They were being torn apart by the sheer willpower of the demon mind. He felt the rage return to him that moment.

"Show yourself!!" He called out in his loudest tone. His voice echoed across the hulks, and reverbrated into the distance. He waited, expecting to be attacked any moment. Yet, nothing would come. Was the demon dead already? Had he been too careless? Had their sacrifices been for nothing...?

Sarenubus could make out another shape. A Dreadnaught larger than all the others. It was the Avatarship. DyiithNahm's personal vessel. If there was any place he would be, it would be onboard that monster. Sarenubus knew what had to be done.

He threw himself forward, and felt himself gain momentum. For a world locked in time, and locked in space, he felt it odd that there was gravity. Not a lot of gravity, just enough to make things interesting. He lept from spire to spire, descending the Dreadnaught that carried him, until he felt confident enough to hurl himself across the coldness of the void. His body travelled for minutes before he slammed into the side of a neighboring Dreadnaught. He continued his approach, jumping between pillars and supersized segmented cables of rigid steel-blue night.

Another leap, and he found himself upon a floating chunk of a flagship. He rose, steadied himself, and took a moment to take in the now-closer frame of the vessel. He could make out the ancient stone hull being ripped away like the surface of a lake amidst a great storm. He could imagine the hand of a great evil tearing into it, tearing out its life. The life of his brother inside. The rage swelled within his heart, and he called out in challenge. A primal howl that echoed for a full minute into the dead world.

"What was it all for? What has this all been for?" He sobbed to himself, falling to his knees. "DyiithJhinn... You would gladly throw away your own prophet and an entire fleet just to kill four of my siblings. You would abandon all you stood for... withstand death and damnation... just to spite another's belief!"

He could only stare. Stare into the face of death as it stood between the roads of eternal europhia and ceaseless hunger. The timeless devastation that consumed a world no larger than a pinhead, but remained so vast and empty. This snapshot of torment and hatred, locked away within his mind. It was an image he would never forget... and image he now lived. Breathed.

An echo returned to him. His initial call to the world. It ground between the metallic hulls of the ruins around him, twisted and deformed. Soon after, his howl. This sound was louder, deafening. His bled through his ears, forcing him aside, then trickled into the distance, the furthest reaches of his mind. There, he remained huddled. Halfway between despair, halfway between madness.

He had longed for this moment. The moment he would finally write the final chapter in the long, bloody history of his people. Where he would finally set to rest the legacy of the the Jhinn. Yet, even this, even this tiny victory amidst a world that had long been destroyed and held no meaning to anyone anymore, he had been deprived of.

Sarenubus began to face his reality. He had made a mistake. There was nothing for him, here. Nothing he did not already have. Sadness, and sorrow. Nay. He would leave the dead to rest in peace.

He rose from his hunch, and stood straight. As he did, something caught his eye. A platform some distance in front of him. He rose to his full height, and lifted his hand to his head. It was a motion Malkor had shown him. A mental signal to release himself from the mental link. But... something told him to hesitate. Something forced his hand to remain at his side. His eyes slowly focused... and took in something new. Something he had not seen before.

There was a figure, draped in a jet black cape. In one hand, a massive serrated edge sword, easily the size of his body. The other hand remained calmly at his side. Something seemed to crawl up Sarenubus' spine. A freezing finger that reached into his very soul. A coldness so profound, so sudden, it seemed as if the world around him was burning.

The cape was moving. As if lofted in a calm breeze, the cloak brushed at the figure's heavily plated body. A horned helmet disguised its face, and a pair of eternally-bright sapphires seemed to force his attention to its eyes. The two stared at each other, lost in their own little worlds. They did not believe they saw the other, instead allowing their own madness to overcome them, allowing them to believe their own lies. Their own excuses.

The figure's armored head slowly looked downwards. As if to assure himself. His sword lowered, and his body seemed to sag. Sarenubus felt a keen sense of sorrow. An emotion he had never, ever felt from a demon before. It was only then he realized what he was staring at. It was only then he felt the power of the creature he was staring at.

DyiithNahm. The Jhinn's Prophet. His head suddenly rose with a start, and his sword with it. His body hurled him across the vast distance between the two in so few seconds. Sarenubus scarcely managed to throw himself backwards, and draw his own sword from his back. The demon's cleaver effortlessly smashed through the hulk, spraying fragments across the void. It seemed to pick up momentum from its attack, sumersaulting as it hurled itself forward, after Sarenubus. A deep, metallic cry sounded through the world, vibrating the hulks as it accelerated. Sarenubus felt his feet gain ground – a Dreadnaught behind the Flagship, and threw himself upwards to avoid the Demon's next strike. Its blade threw itself forward, and struck the demon warship.

As if to drive his madness that much further, a ripple of distorted light shot through the impact point, gradually echoing across the demon machine trapped in nothingness. As it travelled, the machine fragmented into countless tiny shards, showering the wordless audiences in debris. Upwards the Galorian ascended, the gravity of the world lost to him. He spun as he rose, and his feet found home once more – another Dreadnaught. His body braced, and shock rippled through his body and into his ground.

"You still live." he whispered to himself. The Dreadnaught began to move. Its energy-metal skin began to pulse with life as it gained momentum.

"Live?" DyiithNahm's jagged voice inquired in his mind. "Only mice such as you are restricted to such concepts."

Sarenubus ducked, the massive sword swinging overhead. He spun as he ducked, bringing his own blade to bare, and parried a secondary attack. The demon's strength was incredible, forcing him into recoil.

"So, you have returned. As I figured you would. Alone, even. Thinking you have something to prove." DyiithNahm surmised.

The demon charged. His blade was as swift as it was mighty, and after a series of swings and counter-swings, they locked gazes, their blades interlocked in a primal struggle. Another Dreadnaught began to move in the distance. It, too, was returning to life. Sarenubus momentarily glanced in its general direction. He could feel DyiithNahm's strength growing.

"Perceptive. But too slow." The demon's voice boomed in his ears. "You really are a predictable child."

The demon surged forward, forcing Sarenubus back, and swung wildly, narrowing missing his forehead as he flipped backwards, carrying the momentum of the overpower with him, evading the demon's counter-attacks.

DyiithNahmm rose his free hand, and with it, a crimson star. The bolt launched itself, eager for life, and hurled itself across the vibrantly pulsing hull of the living war machine. Sarenubus steadied himself, glanced upwards, and braced himself.

The explosion tore across the surface of the Dreadnaught, eating through its hull, but not destroying it. No, it still lived, even through a blast that Sarenubus felt burn to his very core. He fell to his knees once more, charred fragments of his once ornately decorated armor breaking free of his body.

"Arrogance. Over-confidence. There was a time God feared you. I think, for once, his doubt was misplaced." DyiithNahm's voice spoke from behind. Sarenubus forced himself to rise, forced himself to face his foe. He could make out a third Dreadnaught in the distance blinking to life. They were awakening. They were all awakening. The demon's body momentarily sparked. He could feel its strength increasing. It glanced at its hands, then pried free its sword from the vessel's armor.

"You would have left by now, I think. You cannot be that arrogant. Could you?" DyiithNahm pondered as he strode closer, rubbing the edges of his sword along his free hand, producing a grating metal choir.

"Leave?" Sarenubus smiled as he brought his own sword before him. He remembered his training. He remembered his experience. He could feel his own strength returning to him. He smiled inside.

His people would have their glory.

Sarenubus lunged for his opponent, and once more their blades clashed. Cosmic winds spurred about their lightless bodies, caressing the ballet of carnage befitting of only the darkest Gods. Their twisting blades clashed and deflected, parried and intercepted, never one step behind, nor ahead, attuned to the finest elements of their bodies. As they fought, the world around them began to awaken. One by one, the Dreadnaught's armor slowly hummed to life. Their collective demon mind, the presence of the DyiithJhinn energy, began to collect. With every awakening, DyiithNahm's strength increased. Soon his blade possessed strength too great to directly parry. Sarenubus was being pushed back, forced off of the ship he stood on, back into the void. The demon chased after him, and for a moment, they clashed in nothingness, sending shockwaves of light through that which held only darkness, illuminating the world with their relentless souls.

The Demon. The Knight.

The classic tale of old. He who would honor his people. He who would bring them salvation. He who held only conviction for the corrupt. On the opposing spectrum, he who answered only to his God. He who would bring forth the ushering of a new world order. Many sought to travel his path, akin to their own masters. Many sought to rewrite the universe in their own perfect vision. They didn't matter to him.

Downwards Sarenubus plundered, to impact into the hull of an offline Dreadnaught. Its sleeping armor crumbled like glass, spraying vicious glistening edges across the world. The demon came down from above, bringing its sword into Sarenubus' head. He reacted at the last moment, striking the flat of the blade with the back of his hand, spinning, driving forward his blade into the demon's side. DyiithNahm's howl groaned across the sanctuary, a howl of anger, and a howl of echoing laughter. A satanic call to the God he worshipped. An immortal cry.

The demon turned, forcing the blade out of him, and kicked away the Gorian with his opposing leg. The demon's cloak flared outwards as he spun and the Galorian flew away, spraying out a number of circular metal rings.

Sarenubus regained control of his momentum, catching the far end of a wreck. He rose his gaze to meet the demon's next attack, instead facing a trio of searing yellow discs. The energized chakrams doved for him, forcing him to find another resting place, slicing through the previously offending platform and burning away its matter with their very touch.

"The secrets your false creator hid from you will be your undoing." DyiithNahm spoke as he came from above. Sarenubus parried his lunge, narrowing dodging a duo of chakrams as he did so, spinning in turn with the demon's swinging blade, a metally ring sounding through his ears as the two figures twisted around each other, stretching his blade out, and deflecting the third chakram as it bounced inches away from his face. Sparks and flame sprayed across him, throwing him downwards, and destroying the second platform.

As DyiithNahm flew through the void, he rose from his cloak a massive pistol, inciting a sapphire glow from its chamber and slide in kind.

"As you are not prepared for them!" he yelled, and opened fire. The pistol let loose a thunderous crack as it spewed a shower of glistening yellow fireballs downrange. Sarenubus scarcely found the sense to raise his blade in defense as he landed on the wreck of a Galorian flagship, bouncing projectiles in all directions. The demon landed, and then flipped overhead, firing as he did so in an erratic pattern, forcing Sarenubus into a dance of death, his blade his figure and his mind his music.

The demon charged forward, swinging his blade in a wild arc, calling out in laughter and joy, forcing his opponent into melee once more. Once more, into the fray of dancing swords and fiery souls. Once more, into the symphony of twisted fates. The Demon, the Knight. Forever bound to their need for justice. Forever bound to their need for satisfaction.

As they fought, more and more of the dreaded DyiithJhinn fleet awoke. Their glowing figures began to collect like stars in an open sky. The demon was just playing with him, now. He had all the time in the universe to sing his song.

Truth be told, Sarenubus had tried to disengage the link. He had tried several times. The laughter echoed through his mind when he realized he was trapped. He realized then that he had truly overstepped himself. He had let his pride take over him. He had lost the greatest battle of them all.

"Ah... this orchestra I could bear to hear a few more times." DyiithNahm spoke as Sarenubus rose from the rubble.

"The fearless warrior... the devout leader... finding his own weakness. Accepting his role in the world at long last. Watching your precious Galorians torn apart before your mortal eyes should have been enough to tell you that you were alone in your belief you could challenge me."

"I will have what I came for." Sarenubus muttered. He brushed off the last of his shattered armor, revealing his scarred muscles and weathered skin. The demon shrugged.

"Yes. You came to try to extract information out of me, I imagine. I'll give you only this, Galorian half-breed. You are far, far too late to prevent the ressurection of DyiithJhinn. Period!"

The demon's pistol rose and belched an arc of blood-flame. Sarenubus felt the heat of the projectile wash over him as he threw himself forwards, ducking the first round. The second grazed the side of his face, singing his flesh as it continued onwards. The third screamed under him as he entered a roll, and a fourth hurdled past his feet mid-flight. His roll concluded, and he threw himself into the prophet.

DyiithNahmm sidestepped the Galorian with ease, righting his pistol as the warrior-saint spun around mid-flight, and fired. The first round bounced off of the Galorian's blade, and the second pierced through his chest. Sarenubus hit the ground, and flipped himself, kicking the pistol upwards as a third shot flew into the air. Sarenubus landed, and brought his blade forward. The demon claymore was there to meet it, and once more they were deadlocked.

"Impressive." DyiithNahm whispered. "For a dead man."

Sarenubus felt it. A trio of presences. They burned from behind, and he flipped overhead. The demon cried in surprise, and the blades pierced through his body, spiraling uncontrollably into the distance. As Sarenubus descended behind the monster, he flicked his sword upwards, and dove it into the demon's armor. A shower of sapphire sparks sprayed from its depths as DyiithNahm doubled forward.

He was not defeated, however. As he fell, he hunched over, bringing his tail upwards, catching Sarenubus by the chin, throwing him upwards. The demon rolled, flipping upwards as it reached the pinnacle of its dive, hurling itself into the air after its prey. His hands lit aflame with Deimos heart, showering a blinding crimson light into the pulsating sky. Sarenubus turned to meet him, but the demon was too fast. It slammed into him head-on, detonating the twin stars of blood upon impact. Both warriors were thrown clear of the supernova, each finding objects to dig craters into, the fragments of their individual collisions adding to the chaos.




Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.

Oct 21 2008, 9:53 pm Vi3t-X Post #2



At first I thought this was about ToA.

This being written for a long time, is this ever going to be legally published?



None.

Oct 21 2008, 10:00 pm IskatuMesk Post #3

Lord of the Locker Room

I do not intend to publish it or make it public, no.



Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.

Oct 21 2008, 10:13 pm lil-Inferno Post #4

Just here for the pie

Why not?




Oct 22 2008, 12:44 am Biophysicist Post #5



Then how is anyone going to read it?



None.

Oct 22 2008, 1:39 am Pigy_G Post #6



Quote
To become accustomed to seeing one's people in such ruin... he didn't know how he had become this way.

Kinda repetitive on the becomes, Maybe change the first one to 'Grow'.



None.

Oct 22 2008, 2:06 am IskatuMesk Post #7

Lord of the Locker Room

My vocabulary is very limited, yes.

Quote
Then how is anyone going to read it?

A few select people will be able to read it.



Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.

Oct 22 2008, 2:25 am Vi3t-X Post #8



Well think of it this way.

"I spent 6 years writing this epic story, but I'm not going to publish it"
"WTF WHY?"
"Because I don't want to"
"Then how will people read it?"
"A few select people will be able to read it"
"... 6 years for a few people?"




Oct 22 2008, 2:30 am IskatuMesk Post #9

Lord of the Locker Room

The novel is a representation of over a dozen years worth of work. Out of 10 people who've said they'd read it, only 2 actually bothered to.

Publishing requires money and investment I can't afford and have no will to bother with. I've already looked into it.

I'm writing it for myself, really.



Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.

Oct 22 2008, 11:04 pm Fisty Post #10



Our of curiosity, would there be any way I could read it?



None.

Oct 23 2008, 3:53 am IskatuMesk Post #11

Lord of the Locker Room

Well, I'd have to know I can trust you not to redistribute it, and stuff. I don't even know you...



Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.

Nov 12 2008, 8:00 am Kellimus Post #12



Quote from IskatuMesk
Well, I'd have to know I can trust you not to redistribute it, and stuff. I don't even know you...

If only a 'few select people' are allowed to indulge in your 'epic', then why make as much of it as you have, public?

I just don't see the reasoning to spend '6 years' on a story to only let a 'few people' read it.. I've been working on my novels for about five years now and I plan on letting people read my story when its completed..



None.

Nov 13 2008, 4:01 am A_of-s_t Post #13

aka idmontie

Yeah. What's wrong with you not accepting our view of reality and what is truely sane? How many times do you think I do something only for the benifit of myself? NEVER!!! What do you think I am, human?

Abviously, that was sarcasm. I like how many of you bitch about him not releasing this novel when this novel --http://www.staredit.net/topic/3123/ -- goes unread. How hypocritical of you.



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