Edit: Game is over.

Rules:

1. Post a character of your choice. Fictional or whatever. Doesn't matter. Don't make it something stupid or obscure, or I'll find something stupid or obscure to do with it.
   
2. 1 character per person, 1 instance of each character. This includes character 'type'.
   
3. When your character dies, you're out of the game.
   
4. When I compile posts, new characters and/or character actions will be compiled then. I'll post the results.
   
5. Posts with an 'edit by' indicator under them will be completely skipped during compilation.
   
6. I'll only compile your first post since my last compile post. Subsequent posts will be skipped.
   
7. Between compiles, you may give your character 1 general 'order' to follow. It must fit within 140 characters. Give me any headaches with it, and I'll give you a headache. No hyperlinks or dependencies on external references to comprehend the order.
   
8. Last character standing wins.
   
9. Clarification rule: If you give an order that directly conflicts with the nature of your character, the nature of your character overrides it.
   
10. Clarification rule: Events of posts between compiles take place in loose chronological order. It is still possible for characters to concurrently reply to events issued before their updated orders, but this will happen at my discretion only.

Also, remember what happened last time:

Ulfric Stormcloak~~

Cookie Monster.

Action

---

Eat cookie.

Cris Johnson.

** Results **

Ulfric Stormcloak and Cris Johnson appear suddenly, staring blankly into the distance. The Cookie Monster is heard somewhere noming cookies. Onlookers murmur amongst themselves in curiosity and mild alarm.

Snap Ulfric's neck, prioritizing not allowing anything negative to happen to me.

Eat cookie.

Raitaki.

Walks into room through void portal, and promptly summons ravens that split into smaller ravens flying in different directions that split into still more ravens. Ravens then straight up murder Ulfric.

EDIT: nvm too late for edit. Rm

Sand Wraith (art)

Cast Mirage: summon an illusion of the Sand Wraith beside every combatant and kill the combatant.

Raitaki

Releases ravens that split into more ravens which murder Ulfric.
Is only an illusion during his first turn.

Cool, we can triple kill Ulfric

** Results**

Ulfric continues staring blankly, while Cris walks up to him easily from behind and attempts to twist his neck into snapping. No timeline contingency grants him the strength to perform the fatal act on the much physically-superior nordic warrior, however.

Suddenly, a wild Sand Wraith appears. Sand Wraith uses a Mirage attack. Cris manages to neatly avoid the mirage, much to Sand Wraith's frustration. Cookie Monster and Ulfric are not identified as combatants by the Sand Wrath, who now gives his full attention to Cris.

A flock of very miniature ravens suddenly appears and swarms over to Ulfric, attempting to peck his inanimate figure to death. It is an amusing, albeit unimpressive spectacle.

The noming continues uninterrupted elsewhere in the distance. Onlookers continue to stare in puzzled amusement.

Eat cookie.

1

Character : Duff man
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Use : Duff Blimp power to drop beer and make everyone drunk

Disarm Sand Wraith so that his weapon goes flying and severs Ulfric's head from his body, while prioritizing that nothing bad happens to me.

Nono/Buster Machine No. 7 (footage)

Utilize my weapons systems to the best of my ability to eliminate everything else on the field.

** Results **

An ominous shadow engulfs the entire scene as a large Duff Man blimp majestically hovers over head. Failing to properly account for the terminal velocity of falling beer cans, a hail of lethal alcoholic projectiles bombard the scene. Ulfric takes a can to the knee head, killing him instantly. Cris avoids the bombardment, bewildered regardless of the countless contingencies he has witnessed. The Sand Wraith and Raitaki are not so lucky, however, but both endure the attack with mild injury.

During the confusion, Cris successfully manages to swipe Sand Wraith's dagger, managing only to move out of range of counter attack, which he likely suspects will come in accordance to his foresight.

Suddenly, a wild Buster Machine No. 7 appears... and gets hit in the head with a stray beer can. She is knocked out cold.

The Cookie Monster continues noming, unphased by events, miraculously. The crowd panics and scuttles for cover, taking some casualties to the alcoholic bombardment.

Make preparations to switch to oatmeal cookies.

Stab Nono in head to make her reboot and fire beam, positioning her so it skims surface to hit Sand Wraith and misses planet, then kill her.

If I wake up, remember that the cookie monster is my friend. Protect my friend by destroying everyone else as quickly as possible.