Two months ago, when I went to visit MillenniumArmy (Won't mention his real name although many knows) at his campus, no one answered his apartment door. I saw that his door was open so I went in and I saw MillenniumArmy wearing a dress and dancing to japanese karokee. I bursted into laughter and MillenniumArmy tried to pull it off but he couldn't. Now he deleted me on facebook, myspace, twitter, starcraft, and everything. Hence why the "_____ Sux" started.

Oh damn that sucks, that guy must be a total jerk

Someone should visit shox

Not very bad, but very funny. Basically, a series of stupid ideas.
Me and my friend were "ding dong ditching" (ringing doorbells and running) at midnight to my neighbors (STUPID IDEA!).
Anyways, one came out with his dog and started walking around. We ran to my driveway and tried to hide under cars. He made it under one, but i couldn't fit cause it was a sedan. Anyways, i was lying close to the car when he walked by. I almost made it, but after he passed me, he paused and turned around. He said "What 'cha doing there?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "yeah.

I will. With a gun.

Only if I can bring the Molotovs ^_^

TERRORISTS

Holy shit, you got a blowjob while you played GoW? I've always wanted to do that, awesome,

Anyways, some seriously bad things happened when I went to 2nd base the first time. So I was taking off my girlfriends shirt, and when I got to the bra, since I had never ever seen how to take one off, and since there was a button on the front that looked like it undid the bra, I decided to try and take the bra off by tearing at the button. I spent about 30 seconds messing around with it before she looked up, confused, and then asked "Need some help there?". Probably one of the more embarressing moments of my life.

Also, on the same day, we were lying in this open field at about 10 at night while we were doing it. While we were both lying there half naked, this guy walks by. Not just any guy, but a guy walking a dog. The dog started barking at me and her while we were making out, and she immediatley pulled her shirt up. The guy muttered a "Sorry..." and walked off, then me and her both burst out laughing.

Second part was funny... not knowing how to take off a bra is embarassing...

No, most STDs can be transmitted via birth, only if it touches (I think this is the right name) vulva.

Anyway, embarrassing for me, and my friend.

SHE was just about to take a shower, and I was returning her book. Well, the only parent home was her mom and was downstairs, outside. I walked upstairs, and started looking for a pencil and paper to write a note to her, and she walks out of the bathroom, and looks dead at me.

Oh, did I mention she has big breasts? And a robe on? sadly...

Damn, I wish I had some funny sexual stories to tell. Lol, and too bad about the robe =P

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jan 19 2009, 6:37 am by blacklight28.

Fuck dude, it has something to do with going 120 down I-5 while blazed and then my friend teasing me by saying "Hey dude, I know you like Maurijuana, but let's do some meth" scariest shit ever.

The funniest thing that's ever happened in my life is when I was driving home from McDonalds with a bunch of cheeseburgers and fries (mmm..) and my friend dropped his drink and, quoting Ryder from San Andreas, said, "My Soda! It's all over the fuckin' flo!" I laughed so god damn hard we almost died.

There's also the time I streaked the golf course and got locked out. My friend's neighbors stared at me, but didn't call the cops. I couldn't figure out which was better or worse. There's also the time where I didn't know my friend just got a girlfriend and I was talking to him and I said "Dude, you can tell she's a bitch by just looking at her", I received a pleasant fist to face treatment.

There's a soccer park a bike ride away from my house, and in middle school I would go down there to heckle the girl soccer players behind the fence. "So girls trying to learn to play soccer? I can't beat you all by myself!" "Dont break a nail!" "Who let fatty and four eyes on the team?" and ofcourse I was totally into the WWF "SUCK IT!" "hey bitches, you know what you can do? You can SUCK IT!"

Well one particular time there coach was there(unknown to me), she shot cold look at me, then one back at her girls "Get him." They shot out after me, but while I wasn't much I was the fourth fastest kid in school. I was running backwards for a good 10 minutes dodging through a maze of dug out telling them to suck it accompanied by the appropriate hand gestures. Did I mention though that I had the endurance of a chain smoker? Anyways I soon found myself pinned to the dirt via cleats and 15 angry pissed off soccer girls, but they had mercy and just asked for an apology
but I had pride... So I told them to "SUCK IT!" So they kicked it... and kicked it and kicked it and kicked it and kicked it and kicked it and kicked it


Sorry my story wasn't "So I was fucking this hot chick and then someone saw us, lol"

LIES!

Ya, I got that after. I'm an idiot.

ROFL CAFG that's still a pretty funny story ! I don't have many misfortunes quite as serious really, just silly things like... I always hit my head, and today I was talking to a colleague about how I always hit my head, and I swung my arm to show her where I hit my head and I smacked a customer in the face and then I had to appologize like 1000 times xD!

Were any of them hot?! Lol

a few

You're a big douche and you got what you deserved. My story? Eh.

I'll pass.

So I was banging this totally hot Latina chick right?

Anyways, we were stealthily moving through the compound of my residence, partaking in the carnal pleasures in as many of the exotic on property locations as possible (my parents weren't out of town, but our mansion and the surround exotic compound is huge enough that generally we can sneak around without getting caught. Also they're totally cool with my banging the hot Latina neighbour chick who is also super rich.) Anyways, the groundskeeper manuel caught us, but instead of trying to shoo us, tried to join in. Being the hulk I am, I kicked him square in the jaw, but unfortunately had to step out from behind a bush to do this, exposing my raging erection to 7 of my 13 butlers who were lounging by the pool. Needless to say, I was rather embarrassed. (Mainly because we only hot lady butlers, and after seeing my black-like johnson, have been hounding me ever since, but I totally don't go for them.)