Staredit Network > Forums > Media, Art, and Literature > Topic: Pursuit of the Stars
Pursuit of the Stars
Oct 13 2009, 6:39 am
By: Vrael  

Oct 13 2009, 6:39 am Vrael Post #1



I wanted to try my hand at something with a tone different from what you all are doing,* so I did. Unfortunately I'm not skilled enough to put that in iambic pentameter.

Let the pursuit of the stars once again reign supreme,
exercise the potential capacity and stop idle hands from furthering the devil's cause.
Endeavor with vigor; let the same vigor blaze through and provide the energy to cremate fault.
Fight brazenly when the time to fight comes, but until such time employ control as the better excersize of strength and power.
Sanction skill, but scorn the use of persistence and guile as substitutes,
construct, grow, and apply, rather than allow, use, or lax;
distinguish the illusion and the reality.
Sear the fools with true intensity; hunt the false with vehemence until incinerated,
slash and strike and scorch and char,
channel the energy which comes from the harsh, fiery core of truth and unleash it so that the veracious may regrow like the forest after a wildfire,
rejuvenated with a youthful energy from the ashes of the old.
Have heart and burn.


*what "you all are doing" in my opinion, of course.



None.

Oct 13 2009, 9:40 am Jack Post #2

>be faceless void >mfw I have no face

Quote from Vrael
I wanted to try my hand at something with a tone different from what you all are doing,* so I did. Unfortunately I'm not skilled enough to put that in iambic pentameter.

Let the pursuit of the stars once again reign supreme,
Nice
Quote

exercise the potential capacity

and stop idle hands from furthering the devil's cause.
Endeavor with vigor; let the same vigor blaze through and provide the energy to cremate fault.
Fight brazenly when the time to fight comes, but until such time employ control as the better excersize of strength and power.
Sanction skill, but scorn the use of persistence and guile as substitutes,
construct, grow, and apply, rather than allow, use, or lax;


Stuff in red is awkward, in my opinion.
Quote
distinguish the illusion and the reality.
Sear the fools with true intensity; hunt the false with vehemence until incinerated,
slash and strike and scorch and char,
channel the energy which comes from the harsh, fiery core of truth and unleash it so that the veracious may regrow like the forest after a wildfire,
rejuvenated with a youthful energy from the ashes of the old.
Have heart and burn.
This section was great though. It flowed fairly well, and conveyed a sense of a raging, cleansing flame.

Overall, good job, but first part especially comes across more as a lecture, sort of stated as 'this is what to do, go do it.'



Red classic.

"In short, their absurdities are so extreme that it is painful even to quote them."

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