CEO Killed Amidst Thanksgiving Scandal
27 November 2025

MANHATTAN, NY—Turkey Barrel CEO Ryan Turkson was found
dead this morning outside his hotel room. Turkson was on
his way to the "Guidance and Gravy" shareholder banquet
when he was gunned down by a masked assailant.

Turkson, the now-late husband and father of seven young
fowl, ran afoul when revealing the new Turkey Barrel logo
was designed with the use of artificial intelligence.
Turkson had been aggressively cutting costs, replacing
workers with AI in his planned "Everything's Computer"
corporate initiative. At a recent stakeholder meeting
regarding the company's new direction, Turkson claimed,
"Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen."


(Above: The new, controversial Turkey Barrel logo)

But bad did happen. Eyewitness testimony claims Turkson
was approached by an individual who was overheard asking,
"Do you know how many lives you ruined?", to which Turkson
allegedly yapped back, "Counting or not counting the great
unwashed?" It was at this point the individual brandished
a firearm and shot Turkson multiple times before fleeing
in an unmarked coupe.

Authorities describe the scene as "concerning", and are
"looking into it", while social media has largely responded
to the assassination with elation and praise. Photos of the
attack circulated quickly amongst members of activist group
K-Stop Season Hunters, accompanied with captions such as
"How It's Done" and "Takedown".


(Above: Official logo of K-Stop Season Hunters activist group)

Independent investigator Phree Kaya reveals that Turkson
had a shocking number of enemies due to his connections.
"I was shocked as soon as I looked around," Kaya confesses.
"Turkson had multiple connections to the turkey trafficking
industry, and he is named many times in the Poultry Files,"
she reports. "And he wasn't just an observer: he had his
hand on the remote. He was in control of it."

Turkey Barrel and its partners claim the attack to be a
violent response to the "Everything's Computer" layoffs,
although evidence left behind by the attacker suggest a
different motive. Bullet casings recovered at the scene had
engraved the words "FEAST", "FAMINE", and "FAREWELL".

It looks like some things are still analog.

2025-08-15:
- Better input validation on account registration.
- Manually repair some database errors resulting from input validation problems on account registration.
- Increase minimum password length from 8 to 10 characters.


2025-08-13:
- Fixed database errors preventing registration for new users.


2025-08-10:
- Emails for password recovery should be working again. They may and will probably get spam filtered. (For now, even though the server is correctly using DKIM, DMARC, and SPF) Emails for resending registration verification still appear to be broken and will require further troubleshooting.
- Fixed bad error handling in the forums where the page would crash with empty output. Improved associated error messages, even though users are not expected to encounter these errors in normal operations.


2025-08-06:
- Generate and display errors when topic titles or descriptions exceed the maximum length instead of failing cryptically.
- Increased maximum topic title length from 64 to 80 characters.
- Increased maximum topic description length from 64 to 80 characters.

Let's Encrypt.

Resolved some issues:

- Fixed long-running query loading the SC1 DLDB that would basically take down the entire site.
- Fixed www.staredit.net redirection to equivalent staredit.net URL with an extra slash.
- Fixed redirection to an incorrect domain.

SEN has been migrated to a new server on a new host. (here, "new" refers to the test staredit.endofinternet.net server that was under testing for several years.) Due to issues with the previous host and server, SEN had been down since Feb 23. Once the old host was up, an emergency migration was performed to migrate all uploaded data and the database to this new server.

It is very likely there will be problems, including new problems that were not present on the old server. There is still a lot of work to be done. Thank you for your patience while we work to sort out any issues.

With the Internet being flooded with bots and generated spam, search engines are getting steadily worse, and the overall quality of content is declining. To represent this trend, I think it's most appropriate to make this Thanksgiving post worse than the prior years. There are a few options of how to do so:


Option 1: Get political

Being an election year, an easy way to make a bad post would be to just reference the election. However, doing so would be a bit redundant, since we already have many bad posts on this topic located in a more appropriate subforum, and I wouldn't want to take the spotlight away from my past self nor my fellow community members. Therefore, I'm ruling this option out.


Option 2: Have AI create the Thanksgiving post

This was actually suggested by the community, and it seems like a good idea on the surface. With ChatGPT and Stable Diffusion becoming more and more sophisticated, all I need to do is write a quick little prompt and they'll take care of it for me.

First up is ChatGPT:



I suppose AI has advanced far enough to hurt my feelings, at least. But as long as Stable Diffusion can give me a decent enough turkey drawing, I think I can make this work...



And now I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight. No, I don't think this is the type of content I want representing the front page of our community: AI is not the solution.


Option 3: Don't post at all

By not making a Thanksgiving post at all, I will perhaps let down some of the community, but it perfectly encapsulates my message on the decline of the Internet. This is by far the easiest option, and ultimately the option I'm choosing to do.

... Fuck.