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My Sonic Fanfic
May 8 2008, 7:31 pm
By: Cheathunta  

May 8 2008, 7:31 pm Cheathunta Post #1



I have made a Sonic fanfic. Im still working on the 3rd chapter. This is on Fanfiction.net and its called Sonic the Hedgehog: the Unstoppable Force by Dark Shadic, which is my username on the website. I havent gotten any reviews after like 3 months. Im posting here to see what people think of it. Well, here it is:

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Sonic the Hedgehog: The Unstoppable Force
Chapter 1: A mysterious attack
“Argh! Think harder!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik or “Eggman”, as he was called by Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends, was devising a new plan to get defeat Sonic and bring about the creation of his “Eggman Empire”. He had been foiled by Sonic and his friends many times. One of the recent plans was when he, Shadow, who is now more of a rival than an enemy, and Rouge, a treasure hunter. They planned to use the Eclipse Cannon’s power to threaten the planet to build Eggman’s Empire.
Now Dr. Eggman was sitting in his Laboratory high in the skies in his Egg Carrier. There were turrets, missile launchers, ships being controlled by other robots, everything. There were literally garbage cans full of wrinkled papers. “No, No this will not do!” Dr. Egman said as he yelled in frustration. Then, he turned in his chair towards a tube full of what looked to be green and bubbling water. In it lied Dr. Eggman’s best creation to ever come close to rival Sonic and actually survive throughout the years. Metal Sonic, was that creation.


Metal Sonic apparently is Eggman’s mindless servant. Also recently, Metal Sonic had locked Dr. Eggman in his own base, and taken control. He then attempted to apparently conquer, or destroy the world. He was consequently defeated by Sonic and the rest of his friends, even the Chaotix. Now Metal Sonic was being rebuilt by the robotic arms inside the tube he was in.
Now Eggman had a question for Metal Sonic. He was apparently desperate, to be asking one of his own creations for advice, considering his genius. He turned to Metal Sonic and asked: “What am I supposed to do Metal? How do I finally defeat that spiky blue rat?”


It took a couple of seconds for him to even raise his large, robotic head. He then raised his arm, in a weak sort of fashion. He was apparently recovering. He got off to a slow start, and in his robotic monotone voice, weakly said:
“You must lure him. You must get the message out. Make him expect trouble. He will come. Then you should seize your opportunity”.


It sounded like, although he is a robot, was too weak to talk. He then dropped his head and resumed his “standing up but sleeping” posture. However, he then lifted his head again as if to say one more thing.
“The emerald”.


Dr. Eggman realized something. The answer to all his troubles was actually right there, glowing and radiating in his right palm. It was a red Chaos Emerald, its unlimited power remarkable. He had retrieved it when he was scanning the underground area to build his base over. It seems that although Sonic and his friends had collected the emeralds, Sonic chose to scatter them all once again.

“These emeralds won’t be very exciting or useful in the hands of one. I am going to scatter them across the Earth using Chaos Control. So whoever finds them will use it for they’re own purposes. That way, we all might be propelled into another adventure once again!” Sonic the Hedgehog had said about six months ago. Although Tails and Knuckles had some doubts, they allowed it. The emeralds were scattered across the Earth, for someone was destined to find them, good or evil.
“Thank you Metal Sonic.” Dr. Eggman had said with a smirk grin on his face. “I shall use this emerald as a power source for a great ship! But first… “

There was an explosion, on one of his ships far off in the distance. “INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!”
The security system was going nuts. “Recoding high speed camera”. On the screen flashed a recoding of a mysterious white blur running across one of his ships. It then jumped to the next ship. This apparently destroyed the ship. How could something that fast also be so dangerous?
“This is unbelievable!” Dr. Eggman said as his creations of the sky were being destroyed one by one. “Destroy the intruder!” Dr. Eggman yelled as he curled his hand in nervousness. He did not care who or what it was that was attacking, he just would have it pay the price.


The defense was futile. The intruder was unstoppable. Then Eggman realized where it was going. “It’s coming for me!”
Just then, an explosion rocked the lab the doctor was in. He saw the wall destroyed, and white smoke filled the room. Metal Sonic still lay motionless in the tube, which was his only defense. Dr. Eggman, terrified of this, was backing away in shock.
A figure began to approach Dr. Eggman. No doubt that it was a hedgehog. Yet Dr.Eggman became intrigued by the mysteriousness of this. Due to the white smoke clouding the room, he could not see it’s face, or what it looked like, only the silhouette of it.


It made no movement whatsoever. What was actually 30 seconds of tenseness felt like 30 minutes of staring into the eyes that he could not see of the intruder he could not see. Then, it made a movement. The mysterious hedgehog, still clouded by smoke, reached it’s gloved hand out, and took the red Chaos Emerald that Eggman still had in the hand. He was shocked as the intruder took the emerald, with no confrontation.
The white smoke cleared, and the figure was gone. Just suddenly, gone. Still shocked, he looked at the wall of his Egg Carrier that had been destroyed, the fleet of ships that was almost gone, and his right palm, which held the emerald that had been stolen by someone, or something that he himself could not comprehend.



None.

May 9 2008, 4:03 pm ClansAreForGays Post #2



There were too many grammar errors (poor sentence structure) in the first paragraph alone to motivate me to read any further.




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