The Undertow
Mar 28 2008, 8:48 pm
By: Dapperdan  

Mar 28 2008, 8:48 pm Dapperdan Post #1



Upon death shall mind die,
Upon hell shall earth sit,
Into heaven our angels go,
Leaving us, in the undertow.
With care we shall toe that line,
Over that hot bed of coals,
But onto hell the sinners go,
Leaving us, in the undertow.
No toll on my eyes shall I pay,
For in haste let us death forgo,
Yet in death let us smile,
For we are alive,
We are all alive.


[poem I wrote --> comments much appreciated]

Post has been edited 2 time(s), last time on Apr 2 2008, 10:41 pm by Dapperdan.



None.

Mar 29 2008, 12:37 am lil-Inferno Post #2

Just here for the pie

Good, but I thought you were an atheist?




Mar 29 2008, 12:47 am Dapperdan Post #3



Quote from lil-Inferno
Good, but I thought you were an atheist?

I am. You just don't understand the poem (it shouldn't be easy to). "Leaving us, in the undertow", just think about it.



None.

Apr 2 2008, 10:52 pm pneumatic Post #4



intense



None.

Apr 2 2008, 10:57 pm Greo Post #5



Meh.



None.

Apr 2 2008, 11:25 pm Dapperdan Post #6



Quote from Greo
Meh.

Don't spam please. Try to formulate intelligent posts. People don't post things they have created to hear 'meh'.

('intense' isn't exactly a good reply either :-_-: )



None.

Apr 3 2008, 1:22 am Centreri Post #7

Relatively ancient and inactive

I like it. Took a second read to understand how its not religious, but it sounds good and has a pretty interesting theme. Map-worthy. THE CONFLICT THAT DROVE DEMONS AND ANGELS AWAY FROM THE MATERIAL WORLD!!!eon1E



None.

Apr 3 2008, 2:28 am BiOAtK Post #8



Quote from Centreri
I like it. Took a second read to understand how its not religious, but it sounds good and has a pretty interesting theme. Map-worthy. THE CONFLICT THAT DROVE DEMONS AND ANGELS AWAY FROM THE MATERIAL WORLD!!!eon1E
I'm already working on that, fool!



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