Staredit Network > Forums > Media, Art, and Literature > Topic: Blood Brothers
Blood Brothers
Jan 11 2008, 7:38 am
By: RyanEdwardLee  

Jan 11 2008, 7:38 am RyanEdwardLee Post #1



This is a story i've been working on for sometime, i would like your opinions on it so far.
Progress: 40%

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blood Brothers
By: Ryan E. Lee

Prologue: Slave Auction

In the medieval years of Europe, one family held their wealth and power through these chaotic times. They were known as the Eblans. Jerald and his wife Myra, and their three boys: Gregor, Constantine, and Edward. The family could be compared to a small feudal power. They resided in the small town of Eblana, from which their last name came from. They also maintained order with their small militia. For many years, the family lived in peace, but in the neighboring town of Monroe, troubles began, a small revolt broke out. The leader of a town came to the Eblans and begged for assistance. After much deliberation, the Eblans refused to send reinforcements. The revolt was suppressed, but soon anger was harbored towards the Eblans, and in the following month the town was attacked, and the Eblan Mansion burned to the ground. Many thought that was the end of the Eblan family, but few witnesses said three figures escaped the blaze, going in different directions.
In the lively city of Terra, a slave auction had pulled into town; in the very last cage was a young man. He stood at 6’4’’ with blue eyes that inspired hope and confidence to those who gazed in to them…that is if they were not behind iron bars. He had a remarkably muscular build and impressed all on lookers. On the back of his neck was a stylized ‘E’ that was tattooed there. Gregor Eblan has escaped the hellish flames of his house and into a different kind of Hell. A few days after escaping the Blaze he was captured by Slave Hunters, these men hunted lone travelers and captured them for use as slaves, they also hunted escaped slaves and killed them. As Gregor stood in his cage, he pulled out the only reminder of his family, a piece of a portrait that had the stylized ‘E’ on it. Gregor sighed deeply and sunk into the corner of his cage, looking up at the moon “my brothers… where are ye today? Living freely? Or perhaps ye have fallen out in the woods…never to rise again…either way, it’s better than what I am going through.” He rested his forehead on his knees, praying for some sort of way out. It came, but not in the form, he wanted. A heavy-set farmer came walking up to his cage, rattling it slightly. “How much for this one?” he asked Gregor’s guard “Five gold” the farmer paid the guard and took Gregor by the rope that was attached the collar around his neck. Gregor was shoved out into a field and handed a hoe, it was the middle of the night but people were working. Thus, under the careful watch of armed soldiers, Gregor started to work. As he worked, he looked up at the moon and though to himself “I will find a way out of here, and I will find my brothers.”
In Ashenville, another slave auction pulled up into town. Most of the town was under construction, and as such, the caravan had many strong, young men. In the center cage resided a young man. His hazel eyes were full of sorrow and regret. He sat alone, dirt brown hair and dirty, tattered rags. He looks like a veteran slave, but that was not the case. His name was Constantine Eblan, he, like his brother, was captured a few days after the blaze, when they were all separated. He brushed his hair slightly with his hand, trying to look better. To him, anything was better than the hellhole that they called a cage. Constantine let out a loud sigh as someone went walking by; the person gave him a dirty look and kept walking. “This is horrible…from a respectable family to slave trash…oh, how the mighty fall” he murmured to himself, then looked up at the moon “I’m sure my brothers have found some pleasurable form of life…they probably aren’t even worried about me…” his sprit was all but gone, the few weeks in captivity had broken him like a cheap vase. As he lamented on his shortcoming, a man walked up to his cage. “Hm…a bit of a young one…Ye any good at construction?” the man asked. Constantine looked up at the man and nodded, even though he had never done any construction in his life. He just had to get out of that cage; he could not stand feeling on display like a freak. For three gold pieces he was sold, and was given to a man like a dog on a leash. He was taken to a rotten tent and thrown in with another slave. “Get some sleep; we start work at the crack of dawn.” The man said, and left them. Constantine looked at his roommate and sighed “well…I have a feeling that this won’t end well.”
In the remote town of Ronia, the last slave auction for months pulled into town. The populace gathered around all but one cage. The one cage contained a young man, while all the others contained beautiful young girls, willing to do everything and anything for their masters. The young boy slumped against his wall as his guard turned to look at him “don’t be to down, it’s always like this when we come here, if Yer lucky, we’ll find Ye a buyer at Ashenville or something” but the young man made no reply, he just stared at his guard with somber brown eyes, the guard turned away, looking into the eyes of the young man filled people with depression. Standing, he was 5’9’’, appeared to be 18 years old. He had slick black hair and an average build. On his neck was a stylized ‘E’. Edward Eblan had managed to avoid capture by the slave hunters for a few weeks, but eventually he grew too tired to run or fight and thus was easy prey for the hunters. He laid on his side, propping his head up on one hand, looking up at the moon “Gregor…Constantine…I’m all alone…are ye looking for me…? Are ye dead…?” he sighed deeply and closed his eyes. A few moments later he heard his guard warn someone “Careful, I don’t think he likes being poked” then a soft poking came at his side, his eyes flashed open and he grabbed the poking device- a branch, and snapped it in half. He looked at his attacker. it was a person, cloaked in a deep red cape, he couldn’t make out if it was a man or a woman until the person spoke “ah…feisty one…I’ll take him” it was a woman, and for five gold, he was given to her. As he walked down the path along side her, she ran her fingers through his hair, they were like ice. “Tsk, tsk…” she said softly “this won’t do, I like my blood dolls to be clean…” Edward stood up straight and looked at her “Blood doll?” he repeated her words, the woman took her hood off, she had the most beautiful sliver eyes and long shimmering black hair, she smiled at him, the moonlight reflecting off of her fangs “yes, my dear boy…I’m a vampire” Edward looked away, gulping softly, thinking to himself “that’s it, I’m dead”
This is the story of three brothers, separated by tragedy, but united, even when they were great distances apart, by their bonds of blood.

Chapter 1: Gregor Eblan

The morning sunshine came in through the one window of the slave cottage of the Mize family farm. Gregor Eblan turned restlessly on his small cot, groaning slightly in pain. He was used to practicing an hour a day in sword fighting, but not five hours straight of manual labor. Not to mention that he would be working all day today. His sleep was dreamless as it was restless. All he wanted an hour or two before getting up, however that would not be as someone came in, slamming a spoon against a pot. “Get up ye lazy dogs!” the person screamed, Gregor and the rest of the slaves jumped out of the bed. Gregor, however, nearly fell over as he stood his legs far too weak to hold him up. He was caught by the Slave closest to him “Ye ok?” the young man asked, Gregor nodded weakly, “yeah…I’m fine” he somehow gathered enough energy to stand up straight, then the farm master, Gerald Mize, ordered them out.
‘Tired…’ Gregor thought as he leaned up against his hoe, it was the only thing keeping him on his feet ‘so tired…’ he stood up and swung his hoe at the ground, drawing it back, another slave planted the seeds, he looked up at Gregor “first time doing farm work?” Gregor nodded weakly “I can tell…the way ye use Yer hoe is more like a sword than a farming tool…” the slave shook his head “better learn quickly the proper farming skills or the farm master will rip ye head off” Gregor sighed deeply, then someone came up behind him and tapped his shoulder “excuse me, lad, I can’t help but notice yer emblem on yer neck…” Gregor looked over his shoulder at the man, who gasped softly “Gregor Eblan? Is it really ye?” Gregor sized the man up, he was in his late 40’s at least, with short brown hair and a formidable build, and deep-set green eyes and his minded raced and found a similar man in his memory. “Captain…James?” Gregor said, the man nodded “aye lad, I am the failure of a militia captain” James Roland was the former leader of the Eblan Militia; he was also hired on as a sword master, training the three sons in the way of the sword. He was returning to his family when he was caught by slave hunters after the blazing attack in the Eblan family’s mansion. Gregor stood up the shake the captain’s hand, but fell forward in to his arms instead “Young Master! Wake up!” James shook his former pupil. “We got a fainter here!” he cried out. An hour later, Gregor opened his eyes; he was slumped against the tool shed, the former captain looking at him “ye all right now? Ye scared me half to death!” Gregor shook his head “Captain, you of all people should know that I was never raised for farm labor, I was the heir of the Eblan legacy…Elizabeth!” Gregor screamed out suddenly and stood up “is she alright?!” Captain James shrugged his shoulders “As far as I know, lad, the attack wasn’t on the town, just the Eblan Mansion, if she wasn’t near it, she should be fine” Gregor nodded and sighed deeply. Elizabeth Strife was he wife to be, he and his brothers all had a wife, Gregor and Elizabeth, Constantine and Michelle Gibbons, and Edward and Sarah Bates. Gregor looked around then at the captain “has anyone escaped from here, Captain?” James shook his head “ach, I wish some had, but seems that this Gerald Mize is a war hero…he’s bested everyone he fought and cut down those who run…wait, Young Master, your not planning on trying to escape are ye?” Gregor smirked “that’s my plan, my friend” James shook his head and sighed “you be a crazy one…well, we’re going to need two things if we plan on escaping, swords and horses” Gregor arched an eyebrow “we? Captain…is you going to…” James nodded “I’d follow you to the end of the world and beyond, Young Master, a few of my Militia men are serving here too. I’ll round them up, we’ll take some hatchets and horses, and a good supply of grain…but where we will go, Young Master?” Gregor thought for a second “Eblana…if I am going to find my brothers, it might as well start from our hometown.” James nodded and the plan was set into motion.
Under a Full Moon, five men gathered at the entrance of the farm, each one carrying either a scythe, hatchet, and for Gregor, a machete. They had each procured a small amount of grain and an old horse.
Gregor looked over his motley crew, the two scythe wielders were to follow at the rear, trying to hold anyone who followed off, and James and his hatchet trooper were to follow close to Gregor. The hatchet trooper with James carried a few hatchets on his waist; apparently, he was an expert axe-thrower. Gregor and his comrades mounted their horses, and with a silent swing of his machete, they were off. The old horses were slow and barely able to gallop fifty feet without slowing down. The group had barely gone ten minutes when the clamor of a sword hitting a shield made them turn their heads. Gerald Mize and a group of soldiers were hot on their heels. The group stopped and turned to face their pursuers. The followers stopped a few feet away. “If you surrender now, I will spare your lives!” Gerald shouted out to them, Gregor rode up to the front slowly, sizing up his foes, numerically he had the advantage; Gregor’s force consisted of himself, James, and three former Militia men. Gerald and his two soldiers were better equipped, with actual swords and shields. Gregor shook his head “Gregor Eblan kneels to no one!” he shouted back, lifting his machete up to the sky, the moon shining over the blade, his four followers did the same, and they let out a primal scream as they rushed the smaller force, the scythe men charged at the two soldiers, but the swordsmen deflected their attacks and cut their horses out from under them, the scythe warriors fell to the ground, but quickly regained composure. James and his hatchet thrower attacked the swordsmen, the sparks from the clashing weapons lit up the forests. While the two swordsmen were too distracted with the hatchet-wielding assailants, the scythe men came up and decapitated their unlucky foes. Gerald stood there, facing down Gregor, Gregor lifted his sword up and cried out “This war relic is mine, stay out of this fight” his followers lowered their weapons as they watched. Gerald was a war hero, wielding a long sword and kite shield. Gregor was a young swashbuckler with only a machete to aid him. Gregor whipped his sword up and charged, his foe did the same, they clashed and their weapons were crossed. “Foolish child, you can’t defeat the defender of the Monroe!” Gregor was taken a back, his blood started to boil “Monroe!? The same one that burned down the Eblan Mansion?” Gregor threw his blade forwards, knocking his foe off balance “You attack and burn down a house and you call yourself a war hero!?” Gregor gripped his machete so hard that its handle started to break. He let out a scream and rushed Gerald. Gerald lifted his shield up to defend himself, but the blow from Gregor’s blade shattered his hand, with his shield dangling from his broken limb, Gerald had no way to defend himself from Gregor’s next shot, a devastating cut across the belly. With a thunderous thud, the wannabe war hero fell. Gregor dismounted and took his foe’s Sword, resting it on his shoulder; he looked at his comrades and nodded, pointing his sword towards the North Star “To Eblana, to freedom!” Gregor yelled as he mounted the fallen warrior’s mount, James and the hatchet trooper took the other two horses, while the two scythe soldiers followed on the old horses they started with. Gregor rode, looking at the ground, thinking to himself ‘I have taken the life of another…such a…depressing feeling…I do not understand how soldiers deal with this emotion…’
It was early the next morning when the crew, a little worse from wear, arrived at the gate of Eblana. The beautiful white mansion, which once stood for the power and prosperity of the Eblans, was nothing more than charred rubble. Gregor and his party rode slowly into town, the horses’ hooves clacking on the cobble path, as they approached the center of the town; they ran into a crowd, gathered around a fat portly man who had three women tied up on stage. James looked at Gregor “Ye think it’s a slave auction sir?” he asked quietly, Gregor examined the crowd, it looked like a slave auction, but something seemed wrong. There was not a buzz of excitement in the air that frequented most auctions; it was more like grief and despair. The portly man let out a bellowing laugh “Ye have got to be joking! Is that all ye whelps can come up with?” he held out a small parcel of gold. A farmer in the front took of his hat and lowered his head “Much pardon, sire, but you haven’t given us enough time to come up with the gold…” the man once again let out a laugh and pointed a whip at the farmer “silence! You don’t have them Eblans to protect ye now!” he reached over and lifted the chin of the girl closest to him, to Gregor’s horror, it was Elizabeth Strife. Gregor could feel his blood boil and he almost charged in, but he kept enough composure to realize not to, lest his trample his fellow townsmen. “Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing, you and the others will be coming with me, since ye can’t raise the money to keep me happy.” The Crowd look positively horrified. Then, a voice came from the back that made everyone turn and look “Knave! Coward! Take your dirty hands off my love!” Gregor started to urge his steed forward, at a slow pace, towards the stage. The crowd parted and started to mummer “Who is he?” “Look at his neck!” “Isn’t that…!?” “Lord, we are blessed!” the portly man was taken aback, and he pointed his whip at Gregor as he climbed the stairs. “Back off, ye pup, or I’ll make sure you find a new home, six feet under” Gregor smirked and drew out the massive broad sword he stole from his last victim. “So, you think you are brave enough to face Gregor Eblan?” Elizabeth looked up and her eyes sparkled with hope. The portly man took a few steps back and started to run, but was stopped by James “Ye ain’t getting out of here alive” when the man turned to face Gregor, he was gone. “Up Here!” Gregor shouted, when the man’s back was turned, he had taken a running jump at him. There was no time to react, the man was cut in two by the broad sword. Gregor slammed the bloody weapon upright in the wooden stage, and untied the unlucky women. The other two were Michelle and Sarah, Constantine and Edward’s arranged wives respectfully. Elizabeth jumped into Gregor’s arms, crying softly into his shoulder. “They…they said you were dead…” Gregor put his arms around her and held her close “they were wrong, love…they were wrong” Michelle and Sarah bowed before Gregor “Noble Lord, have you seen your brothers?” they asked with a faint trace of hope “No, I have not, I promise I will not rest until I find them” he then turned to the populace “Everyone! You need not fear, The Eblans will rule again, and protect you until Eternities end!” The townsfolk let out a cry of rejoice as the sun hung heavy overhead.





Chapter 2: Blood Doll

Fear gripped Edward Eblan as he looked at the woman who held the end of his leash. The pale moon highlighted her perfect body. She was beautiful, and yet scary. Edward believed that Vampires only existed in fairy tales, told by parents to make children behave. Now, one was holding on to him, and nothing but pure terror followed through him. “My name is Ronin, and what is your name, pet?” Edward just stared blankly at her, trying to find the courage to speak. “E…Edward…” he said slowly. She smirked softly, running a pale finger over her lips “Edward…such a noble name, I like it…” she laughed softly. Edward was trying to gather the courage to run. However, he couldn’t find it. He legs felt heavier than two tons of iron. His heart was pumping faster and faster, he truly feared that she would drain his blood until she killed him. She tugged on the leash lightly and walked towards a huge gothic mansion on the hilltop. The mansion was both awe inspiring and fear imposing. The walls were made mostly out of a beautiful black marble, and it had a couple of towers with coned peaks. Ravens nested on the roof, eyeing the fresh meat of Edward. “You’re scared, aren’t you?” Ronin said suddenly, causing Edward to jump. He nodded slowly “no offense, milady, but you are a vampire, and I have never been in the company of a vampire before…I thought your kind didn’t exist” he said softly, trying to maintain a shred of dignity. Ronin was silent as she opened the door, and Edward gasped softly. Sheer beauty and elegance filled Edward’s eyes as he looked around the living room. A large couch and lounge chairs filled the room, all centered around a fireplace. As Ronin led her new doll through the house, he saw many different rooms. There was the dinning room, simple chairs and table filled it. A few guests’ rooms and most surprising, a ballroom- all decorated in white, and a piano sat in the middle. “You…play piano?” Edward asked, he was both surprised and curious, he thought vampires were only bloodthirsty beasts, content only to hunt. Ronin was shattering all he though he knew and replacing it with new knowledge, something he always craved as a young boy. Edward remembered the days with his father, studying in the library. “Father, when are the new books coming in?” he asked one day. His father patted his head “Soon, my son, soon. The merchant is bringing in a special book I ordered for you, it’s an archive of mythical beasts and creatures of lore, and I know how much you love to read about them.” Edward smiled and had to contain himself from jumping with joy. He loved his father, and enjoyed the time spent with him. He felt a tug that brought him back to the present. Ronin was looking at him, her sliver eyes strangely alluring. “Take your clothes off” Edward was taken back by this request, and he looked around, he realized she had dragged him to a bathroom. A large bath was situated in the middle, and the tub was full of water. Edward as glad, he though for sure that it would be blood or something of that nature. Then he looked at Ronin, blushing softly “In front of you? That’s not proper milady” She laughed softly, shaking her head “You’re just too cute.” She left the room. Edward sighed and took his bath in peace in quiet, something he hadn’t had in a long time. As the water washed over his body, he remembered how it all began.
His father had called a meeting, Edward and his two brothers, along with James Roland sat around a table, debating trying to decide if they should send forces to Monroe. Gregor and Constantine were against it, while Edward and James were for it. “If we do not send support, the revolt could surely spread here!” Edward said, slamming his fist into the table, he had grown impatient with Constantine’s spineless thoughts. “We could lose more than what we would if we did send support if the rebellion affects our town!” Gregor shook his head “It’s not our problem, Edward, we have no right to send our forces into the town, we aren’t policing the world.” James sighed “This isn’t the world, young master. For years, we have lived hand-in-hand with Monroe, should we truly jeopardize that relationship based on a whim? It’s only a few gold pieces…” James was speaking of the last trade with Monroe; they were short by 2 pieces. Jerald could understand the town’s predicament but Gregor and Constantine were livid, they were sure that they would start sending less and less gold. “If we send support, we’re putting our troops in danger for nothing” Constantine said “That is that” Edward pulled out a short sword “Spineless…!” Jerald threw out his great sword “Enough!” Edward sat down “We won’t send support…I do hope the Monroe people understand.”
They didn’t, they couldn’t believe that their longtime friends had just up and abandoned them, and Matis Monroe, the leader of the town, raised his Militia not only to defeat the rebellion in his town, he then quickly marched on Eblana, burning down the mansion. Edward and his father were fighting together on the top floor against the Militia. “This is all my fault…” Jerald said softly as he cut down one soldier, Edward stabbed another, looking at his father. “No, you had no idea this would happen, you were just trying to do the right thing for the town.” Jerald nodded the sniffed the air “what is that…smoke?” Edward took a deep breath, and then coughed heavily. “Ugh…yeah…” Edward fell to his Knees, the smoke becoming over powering. “Edward!” Jerald pulled his son up, walking toward the balcony and throwing open the door. The two looked down at the lower floors; the fire had caught and was already spreading to upper floors. “Edward, jump into the lake,” Jerald said, referring to the lake the surrounded the house, walking back into the house, Edward turned, looking at his father. “What about you, father?” Jerald rested his Sword on his shoulder, smiling softly “Got to rescue someone special to me…” he then ran into the house, cutting a beam in his way in half, Edward turned around and jumped into the lake.
The cold water from the bath reminded him of the lake, he sighed deeply as he came back to reality, and he realized slowly he had dozed off. “You fell asleep? Should be careful, you might drown…heh” a voice said from behind Edward, he turned slowly and was greeted by a middle-aged man. The man had long black hair, and dark eyes, not to mention the face of a raven. “Who…?” Edward started to ask, the man did a sort of bow and stood up, smirking softly “I am Merk, Ronin’s servant” he said, throwing down a new set of clothes for him. “For you, Mr. Eblan” Edward was confused again “How did you know my last name?” he asked, Merk laughed, and shook his head “I was a childhood friend of your father, Jerald, He was obsessed with that ‘E’ you have on your neck.” He eyes steeled suddenly “You are his son, right?” Edward nodded softly “he never mentioned you…” Merk sighed “We had a falling out…over Myra” Merk shrugged. “Ronin was kind enough to take me in, and we’ve been together ever since…Fate is strange, to think, I would be in the same house as the son of my former friend.” He walked out slowly, his long hair nipping at his heels. Edward got out and dried off, putting on his new clothes. The clothes were beautiful silver silk pants with a matching tunic; he tied on the belt to the tunic to keep from tripping over it. It was somewhat big for him. As he exited slowly, he peered around confused as where to go. Slowly his ears tuned in the sound of a piano playing, Edward moved slowly, peering into the ballroom. Ronin sat at the piano, playing a beautiful melody, her fingers moving over the keys in beautiful elegance. As she slowly stopped, Edward started to clap softly, smiling softly. Ronin turned around and laughed softly “I was unaware I had an audience” Edward bowed slowly “forgive me for not announcing myself, but your playing was perfect.” Ronin sighed softly and closed the piano lid slowly, walking over to her blood doll, stroking his cheek softly. “Careful, I don’t like to be snuck upon” She walked back to her piano, crossing her arms across her chest “Also; you are my pet, not a guest in my house. So don’t expect to be aloud to walk around outside.” Edward took a step towards her, shaking his head “But I am a human, I am not some dog or cat you domesticate and keep me for your own! I have my own family to look for!” Ronin turned on her heels and marched over to Edward, her eyes burning with a sudden anger, she raise her hand up and slapped Edward across the face. Her cold hand leaving a stinging sensation in his face, Edward lifted his hand up when her hand came around his throat, lifting him up, looking into his eyes with absolute anger. “You listen here you little bastard, I bought you and you are my pet, you will do as I say, not as you please. Do you understand?!” her hand gripped tighter around his neck, Edward gasped for air and his voice, now soft and meek let out his reply “Yes….mistress…” She dropped him to the floor and said something in a language he did not understand. Edward was on his knees, gasping for air when a hand came on his shoulder “The mistress wishes you to be confined in your room for the time being” it was Merk; he lifted Edward up to his feet and forced him to a medium-sized bedroom down the hall. The bedroom was adorned with beautiful paintings and a large tiger-skin rug on the floor. The four-post bed was large enough to fit three people and it stretched from wall to wall. Edward slowly entered the room and Merk shut and locked the door, Edward turned quickly, but realized it was futile to try to get out. He sauntered over to the window; it was barred and locked up tightly. He looked up and saw the sun come up over the horizon. He sighed deeply and clutched the bars in his hands, leaning his forehead against them. The sun putting the shadow of the bars on his face, he closed his eyes and then let go of the bars, his eyes opening again slightly as he turned and got in the bed, sighing softly. Meanwhile, in the ballroom, Ronin slammed her hand into the ivory keys of the piano, her free hand clutching a small tuff of her hair; she was trying to hold back the tears that came. “Why…why do I have to be such a bitch…?” she slammed her other hand into the keyboard, the hammers inside coming down unforgiving on the strings. She sat down on the bench and rested her head on the keys, the tears coming freely now. “Why am I so cold to people like him…I know I shouldn’t care what he thinks of me…but…” she sighed deeply and brushed the tears away, rising to her feet and looking at the door. “ You can come in now, Merk” the shadowy figure of the guardian came in the doorway, bowing low to her “I didn’t hear a word ma’am” he said in a low tone as he stood up once more. “Are the curtains drawn?” she asked, Merk nodded “indeed, you’ll be safe on the way to bed, good night mistress” he bowed and seemed to disappear into the shadows. Ronin walked silently past Edward’s room, she placed her palm on the door and sighed quietly, then slowly walked to her own room. Ronin’s room was a lavish room, with a large four-post bed, tiger and zebra skin rugs as well as a fireplace in the corner, the room had many lost painting by famous artist and black marble walls and floor, it was a beautiful, yet cold room at the same time, she snapped her finger and her evening clothes were replaced with a sheer black nightgown, she laid down on the bed and cuddled the pillow, slowly drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 3: Skirmish at Eblana
The sun beat down on the townsmen of Eblana as they moved in a hurried pace around town, carrying building materials, in a few short hours, a small wall was being formed around the city. Gregor Eblan, now dressed in light armor with his families crest on the chest plate, was in the town center, training a new band of militia soldiers. Everyone was on edge, the slightest sound made everyone reach for the nearest thing with a sharp point. Even without Gregor telling them, they all knew why they were building a wall and training up for war. Gregor had killed the Monroe inspector, and if he did not report to town soon, a troop of men would arrive to secure the town. Gregor did not plan to abandon his subordinates and give the town back to the Monroe troops, so he put everyone to work, but no one worked harder than he did. It was around noon when Elizabeth started to worry, Gregor had not returned from the town hall to eat lunch with her. She walked slowly throughout town, everyone she passed bowed to her and said “Good Afternoon, Mistress Eblan” she blushed softly, even though she wasn’t married to Gregor yet, she loved him dearly and everyone in the town held the two in the highest regards. As she entered the town hall, she founded a group of new swordsmen holding Gregor up, as they let go of him, he started to sway and fall. The swordsmen caught him and sat him down on the ground. Elizabeth ran over to him, holding him close, looking up at the swordsmen “What happened to him?!” one swordsman stepped forward, bowing his head to her “Mistress Eblan, we were training hard, and Master Gregor just didn’t stop, he just wanted to become stronger and protect the city, and you of course.” Elizabeth sent the soldiers away, helped her fiancé to his feet, and held him close. “Forgive me…I guess I overdid it” Gregor said, resting against his sword, the sword sticking into the ground. He rested his chin on the top of her head, holding her close, sighing softly “I can’t stop thinking about my brothers…” he said softly, closing his eyes slowly “I hope that they are alright…” Elizabeth held him close, rubbing his back tenderly. “Constantine is probably alright, I’m not sure about Edward…” Gregor nodded slowly. He opened his eyes and looked out into the town. The wooden walls slowly starting to take shape, at the center of where the walls met a large gate was being fashioned. The city was full of the sounds of axes smashing into lumber, the hammer of the blacksmith falling on the metal, the uneasy mummer of nervous soldiers. Gregor knew the Monroe Milita would come, although he wished things didn’t have to end in bloodshed. He could never let his followers see him worry, not even his wife could see him struggle with his emotions. He had to be the pillar of strength that his followers could depend on, just like his father. Gregor closed his eyes, he could once again feel the heat…
His back was turned to the burning blaze, sword drawn, and standing next to Constantine. he held his long sword tightly, staring down the blades of the Monroe soldiers, his chain mail was hidden under his combat robe. He held his sword up and rushed at the soldiers, they were seized by fear as he let out a primal scream and they took off. Gregor smirked, turning back to his brother, then up at the burning building. “Where is father and mother?” he asked his younger brother, Constantine shrugged, then his eyes widened “I thought you knew where they were” Gregor looked at him “What do you mean?” Constantine looked at the fires that engulfed their home “You don’t think…Father, Mother, and Edward could still be in there, do you?” Gregor looked at his younger brother with terror in his eyes “Edward!? Edward is with them!? Goddamn it…” Suddenly arrows came flying from two directions at them, and the two brothers hid behind their shields, their backs against each other. “I think this is the end, Gregor…” “Don’t say such things, Constantine, we’ll make it, now you go one way, I’ll go the other, and we’ll meet up at Pyra, alright?” Constantine nodded, Pyra was a town a few miles away from Eblana and was neutral in the current conflict. Gregor, held his sword close, and his shield up, standing up slowly and rushing the archers, smiting them with his shield and he dashed into the forest, dropping his shield to get more speed, not even looking back to see if his brother was alright.
“Master Gregor!” someone called out, Gregor opened his eyes and faced a Blacksmith carrying a large shield, behind him a woman held a pile of clothes and a young child had a sheathed long sword. “What’s all this?” Gregor asked, eyeing the equipment, the blacksmith bowed to his lord and held out the shield, it a had the stylized ‘E’ of the Eblan Family “Yer shield, sir, when the attack happened a small team of us went in to collect some items, we were planning on selling them…but we thinks you need them more than us” Gregor took the shield and sat it on the ground. Then the woman came forth, she handed Gregor the clothes, a beautiful purple tunic with a lion’s crest in the center, a dark black pair of pants, a long purple cape with the Eblan insignia on the back, and a pair of boots. Lastly the boy brought forth the sword, it was Gregor’s backup long sword. Gregor smiled softly and looked at the people “Thank you…this means a lot to me, really” Gregor said quietly, a silent tear falling from his eye. He turned his back to the three and looked at those working, knowing the people were counting on him to protect them and lead them to safety and victory.
Nighttime fell and the torches were lit up, the wall was finished and the town was ready for the oncoming Militia from Monroe. Eblana Militia stood on the walls, looking out over the terrain; each man wore a purple tunic and held a sword and buckler. One man on the north wall leaned out, squinting his eyes, then his eyes widened with horror and he turned around “Here they come!” the town quickly filled with the sound of movement as the green-clad Monroe soldiers came towards the town. A man on horse back led them towards the northern gate of the town and a few feet away he stopped, flourishing his whip and pointing it at a guard on the wall. “Open this blasted gate, and I promise to show mercy!” The Eblana soldier held is hands up and called down to open the gate, the leader of the Monroe Militia smirked and laughed “Good choice, good choice…” the gate slowly opened, and the Monroe Commander slowly urged his steed forward, laughing hard, feeling he had gotten as easy victory until a soldier form behind him called out “My Lord! Look!” The Monroe commander’s head snapped ahead, in the gateway stood one man. The man was wearing a purple tunic with black pants, and a long purple cape. In his left hand was a large shield with an ‘E’ on it, his right hand held a long sword, on his back was a broad sword. Gregor smirked, looking up at the commander, pointing his sword at him “This town will not be your gold mine anymore! Leave!” as the words left his lips, the Eblana Militia rallied behind their commander, holding their swords and shields up. The Monroe commander gritted his teeth and charge at Gregor, urging his steed as fast as he could, lifting his sword up. Gregor watched him, lifting his shield, and then quickly stepping to the side, covering his head with his shield and cutting the legs out from beneath the horse with his sword. The horse fell to the ground, and sent its master flying into the barrage of purple-clad soldiers, who each took a turn in stabbing the fallen commander. Gregor turned to the Monroe soldiers, who all cowered when he glanced their way. Gregor shook his head, turning his back to them “Go home, and tell your superiors that Gregor Eblan will not allow his town to be used again.” He walked into the town, and the gate closed, leave the corpse of the commander and the horse behind. The cheers of victory came from the Militia soldiers as Gregor passed by, sheathing his sword. He knew that the battle would end with bloodshed, and he was glad only the commander and his horse had to die, the men who followed him were innocent of any crimes, and they didn’t deserve to die. Gregor walked towards a house, the one he was sharing with Elizabeth, sighing deeply, the Militia dispersed and hung up their weapons, hopefully the Monroe forces would not be stubborn enough to send a second army after them. Gregor slid his armor off and threw it to the ground as he entered his house, throwing his swords and shield on top of it, and pulling his cape off and laying it on top of the pile. He walked into his bedroom and laid on his bed, soon after a pair of soft hands came down on his shoulders, snaking their way down to the small of his back. Gregor looked over his shoulder up at Elizabeth, whom smiled down at him “You’ve left quite a mess in the living room” she said, sliding her hands up and down his back. He relaxed into her hands, closing his eyes slowly “I’ll pick it up in the morning, promise” Elizabeth shook her head, laying beside him, pulling him into her arms “Don’t worry about it…just rest, it’s been a long day…” Gregor nodded slowly, cuddling close to the love of his life, his breathing becoming light and shallow as he drifted off to sleep.
Gregor sat up, surrounded by darkness, the wind howled around him and blew his hair. The cold pierced him to the bone; Gregor looked around, but only found blackness. “Elizabeth?” he called out meekly, standing up in the darkness. The call for his love went unanswered “Elizabeth?!” he called out again, but once again no answer. Then suddenly torches lit up around him, in a ring fashion. Two figures stood in the distance, their backs to him, but Gregor could tell they were male from their builds, he reached for his sword, but it was not there. Gregor growled and held up his fists “Who are you!?” he demanded, slowly the figures turned around…
“You abandoned us, Brother!” Constantine yelled, drawing out his Epee, Edward pulled a small sword out as well. “How could you…how could you leave us to die, Gregor!?” Edward shouted, Gregor started to back up, scared “Forgive me, Brothers…but the town…” but before he could finish, Constantine rushed him, slamming his Epee into his gut.
Gregor sat up on his bed, panting hard, sweating slightly. He looked at his side, where Elizabeth was sleeping contently. He calmed his breathing and his mind, the nightmare was gone, along with the night. The sun rose slowly and shined into his window. Gregor got out of his bed, going into the living room and cleaning up the equipment he left on the ground. Once clean he stepped out onto his front porch, he knew what he had to do. “Brothers…I’ll find out where you are…dead or alive…”

Chapter 4: Dark Luster
Edward rested on the bed as the moon rose, his breathing was deep as he slept on the large bed Ronin provided for him, the marks from her hand on his neck had long faded and the fear in him had subsided temporarily. The sound of his door being unlocked awoke the youngest Eblan as he sat up on the bed and looked at the door. It slowly opened and Ronin walked in, looking at him. “Good evening, pet” she said with a slight smirk “Sleep well?” Edward nodded slowly, the fear slowly creeping up inside his body. He started to move to the farthest corner of the bed, trying in no avail to get away from her. His back was pressed against the wall as she came closer to the bed, his eyes fixed on her, she seemed to walk with a seductive sway in her hips. She ran her hand along the sheet to smooth it out before sitting on it, her back to him, looking over her shoulder at him, smirking softly. She patted a spot next to her “Come here, pet” Edward shook his head, pulling his knees up, cowering in fear. Ronin narrowed her eyes and gripped the sheet in her hand, hissing and baring her fangs slightly “We’ve had this talk before pet...come here this instant!” she yelled at him. Edward put a hand to his neck and then slowly moved towards the spot next to her, his body shaking with a heavy terror as he sat next to her, his legs dangling over the edge, he kept his gaze on the floor. Ronin slid a cold hand over his neck, causing him the shiver slightly; her hand crept up into his hair, petting it softly. Edward glanced up at her; her eyes had red specks that accented the beautiful silver iris of her eyes. Her cold had trailed along the vein in his neck and as soon, her handed reached his shoulder she lunged at his neck, sinking her fangs into it, the piercing sensation Edward felt almost caused him to faint in agony, but the pain was followed up by something Edward never expected: pleasure. The most wondrous sensation coursed throughout his body, his face becoming flushed with a deep crimson color. As Ronin sucked out his blood, he felt like he had found the key to heaven and opened the ivory gates of bliss. Ronin pulled away, running her fingers across the wound on his neck, and it healed instantly, Edward fell backwards in complete ecstasy, panting softly, is heart pounding quickly to replace the blood he lost. Ronin laughed softly, straddling his hips and brushing his hair softly “As you can see, it’s not so bad to live with a vampire” Edward leaned on his elbows, looking up at her, smiling softly. Ronin got off him slowly and walked towards the door, turning back to him once she reached the frame “You’re free to roam around inside the house, you’re not permitted to go outside or into my garden, is that clear?” her eyes narrowed as said this. Edward knew she was deadly serious and nodded in agreement. After she left Edward tried to get to his feet, but the feeling of pleasure had left his legs weak below the knees, and he nearly fell when he stood up. Slowly the feeling in his legs returned and with it, the total despair of his situation. The sensation he got from her was only temporary he was still a prisoner in her mansion. Edward sighed and wondered why he had not even thought of an escape plan. Maybe it was because he knew he could not do it, he was not strong like Gregor or Constantine and still inexperienced in unarmed combat. Maybe he did not want to leave. No, Edward shook his head, that is impossible; he would never willingly bow down before someone as their slave. Edward slowly walked down stairs and into the kitchen. Ronin smiled at him as he came in, she was sitting on the counter, her legs hanging over the edge, crossing each other at her ankles. “Are you hungry, Pet?” She asked him as he walked past her and looked into the pantry, it was full of food he did not recognize. He sighed and turned back to her, nodding at her. She slid off the counter and pulled some meat and bread out of the pantry, these objects were hidden behind packets of something. She handed him the meat, bread, and a small plate, Edward poke the meat, it was already cooked, he shrugged his shoulders and ate his food, leaning his back against the counter as he did so. Ronin slipped back onto the counter, placing her legs on either side of him, her arms sliding down his shoulders and crossing over his chest, she kissed her cheek gently. Edward blushed hotly and looked up at her “What was that for, mistress?” he had slightly gotten used to calling her that. She smiled lightly leaning close to his ear and whispering, “For not trying to escape, most of my pets would have tried at least once by now, and I didn’t want to have to clean up your remains from the front step like the others.” She smirked slightly Edward blinked and glanced up at her “What do you mean? You killed them?” she laughed softly, sitting up and running her fingers through his hair, teasing it slightly “Goodness no. I never get angry…unless you give me a reason too. They were killed by my guards.” She said softly, a slight frown on her face. Edward was slightly confused, he had seen no armed guards on the way to the mansion, and so what was she talking about? Ronin sensed his confusion and smiled softly “Demons, my boy, Demons protect my house, in the day they look like statues, and my human guards protect the house, but at night the demons come to life.” Her words fell on his ears like silk, but it did little to ease his mind. Demons lurking about outside was not a pleasant thought at all. He sighed deeply as he finished his dinner and washed the dish, putting it away. Ronin smiled at him and got off the counter top; she walked to the door and turned around, resting against the frame. “I want to show you something you might like, come with me” she said softly, and started to walk towards a huge pair of double doors, Edward kept close behind, wondering what the surprise was. As she open the doors, musk smell filled the main hallway, Edward watched in amazement as the doors opened and the room before him was filled with books. A massive library was before him, it was his dream world. He walked into the library in a hypnotized fashion, his head turning and every direction so he could look at all of the wonderful books that the room had for him to read. Ronin smiled softly and shut the doors, leaving him to his own devices. The room seemed the spin around as he was over come by the sheer number of books; he sat down to keep himself from falling. This library was easily triple the size of the Eblan Mansion library, Edward thought. “Quite impressive, isn’t it?” a voice said from behind him, Edward bolted out of his seat and faced the speaker, it was Merk. Edward put a hand over his heart and sighed deeply “You nearly scared me to death!” Edward growled, glaring at Merk. Merk was dressed in a black long coat and black pants, his long black hair nearly covering his face. Merk shook his head at the young man and put stack of blank paper and a quill with ink before him “I’m sure you have much to write about…” he said with a knowing grin “I must be off now…” he opened the doors and walked out, closing the double doors behind him. Edward sat before the stack and looked at him in amazement and wonder. How did Merk know that…? he wondered about it for a short period of time and then dabbed the quill in the ink, pulling the first piece of paper down and started to write:
‘A true account of Vampire Activates, By Edward Eblan. Vampires, for starters, are not blood driven beasts that most accounts make them out to be…’ Edward had started to write his own paper, not knowing if he was going to live long enough to publish it.
Merk swept through town silently, the moon light seemed to make his long hair shimmer as he approached the local tavern. The door opened without him touching it and he entered, unfazed. The tavern was full of the worst kind of low-life, murderers and bandits came together to share a pint of ale before heading off for the next job. Merk had gotten a letter from an old friend and was told to visit with him about a matter of great urgency. A man in a dark red cloak waved him over, he sat alone in a corner with a small candle barely illuminating his cloak. Merk approached him and sat across from him, glaring at him slightly. “I’m here, as promised, and I’ve upheld my end of the bargain, Ronin is taking good care of the boy,” Merk hissed quietly. “Your coming here jeopardizes the plan!” the man in the cloak laughed softly “I know she doesn’t let him outside, so there is no threat to the plan” his voice turned grim “However, the eldest one escaped his imprisonment and is actively searching for his brothers…” Merk slammed his fist into the table, a few patrons looking at him, Merk gritted his teeth. “I told you that Mize could not handle him! Gregor should have been sent here” he growled. The cloaked man shook his head “No, Gregor is too deeply in love with Elizabeth, and Constantine in love with his wife as well. We can only use Edward for this plan” Merk shook his head “I don’t like this…it still seems demented, and we have no assurances that she’ll take to the boy” The cloaked man stood up and throw a few gold pieces on the table, looking down at Merk. “The plan will work, you’ll see.” The cloaked man walked out, leaving Merk to ponder these thoughts alone.
Edward had written himself to exhaustion, having fallen asleep on top of his papers, in the short time he spend in the house, he was able to write nearly twenty pages of ground breaking facts on vampires. Ronin entered the room, smiling at her sleeping pet. She walked next to him and petted his hair softly, he stirred slightly as she did so, but she paid no mind, picking up the papers and glancing over them. A few tears came to her eyes; the report portrayed her in a positive light, which was something new for her. She sat on the edge of the table, a hand sliding along his hairline, she kept reading the report, then she slowly put it down, picking Edward up and taking him to his bed, tucking him in. she looked down at him, he hadn’t noticed how handsome he was, and how much of an angel he looked like when he slept. She leaned down and kissed his cheek, whispering softly “Thank you” and then left for her own room, suddenly really happy she has bought him.
Chapter 5: Constantine Eblan
“NO NO NO!” the supervisor yelled at Constantine Eblan, who growled at he sat down the wood he was carrying on the marked spot, but it did little to please his supervisor. The supervisor got right up in his face, cussing out Constantine. His breath reeked of cheep booze and bad hygiene. Constantine grimaced as he was yelled at. “You good-for-nothing slave! I knew there was something fishy about you; you know nothing about construction, do you?! Well?!” Constantine’s bluff was called, and he had no cards left to play. He shook his head slightly, but the truth did not help his case. The supervisor called over a couple of guards and gave them orders to “Show him how I feel about liars” the guards smirked and each one grabbed one of Constantine’s arms, dragging him to a medium sized shack, inside was a rope that was tied to one of the rafters. ‘Not good…’ Constantine though to himself.
The guards took turns slamming a whip into Constantine’s back, with each lash, another cut was formed, and more of Constantine’s blood fell to the ground, staining the wood planks red. Constantine panted hard, his body shaking as he hung there, helpless to his captors. Constantine had been working for a week, but had been doing a horrible job. He had lied to get out of the cage, now he wish he was back in it. The guards abused him until the sun went town and they were too tired to continue. They left Constantine hanging there as they went to sleep. His thoughts raced as he hung there, wondering how much longer he could survive, and if they would kill him tomorrow, or wait until the next day. His eyes slowly drift shut, he need sleep, even in the awkward position he was in. he hadn’t been asleep long when the door opened and shut, his eyes snapped open and were greeted by candle light, a young man stood there, with a long sword. ‘An Assassin?!’ Constantine though as the man paced around him, stopping behind him for a brief period, then walks in front of him, lifting the sword above his head. Constantine closed his eyes and waited for the finishing blow.
Constantine fell to his knees, alive, but shaken. He opened his eyes and looked up at the young man, raising an eyebrow questionably. The man put his candle and sword down, bowing before Constantine “Master Constantine, it’s good to see you again, forgive me for not coming to your aid earlier” he said softly. Constantine was confused and the room was spinning, the loss of blood taking its toll on him. “You…who are you…?” Constantine questioned. The young man looked up at him, smiling softly “Thomas Ector, I was a soldier in your father’s Militia” He said as he stood up, helping Constantine to his feet. He held the hilt of a sword towards Constantine “Can you use a weapon, Master?” Constantine nodded and took the sword, looking at Thomas “How did you get these?” gesturing towards the swords they held. Thomas smirked “I’ve managed to ‘convince’ a guard to part with them” Constantine laughed softly, knowing exactly what he did. “Right, lets get out of here then…where are we running off to?” he asked, putting the sword in his belt. “Pyra seems like a rational choice, it’s only a few miles away from here” Thomas responded, walking over to the door and cracking it slightly, peering outside. “Coast is clear, if we’re going, we better do it now.” Constantine nodded and the two of them darted out of the small shed, they stood back to back, hands on their weapons as they glanced around. ‘No guards’, Constantine thought, ‘That’s a good sign’. Thomas scanned the night sky, he then pointed his sword at a large, bright star “Pyra is that way,” he said, turning towards Constantine. Constantine nodded his head, leaning on his sword, and then slowly started to sit down, the blood loss taking a major toll on him. “Young Master, I know you need to rest, but we must keep going, we have a head start and we need to keep ourselves ahead of the guards,” Thomas urged, grabbing onto Constantine’s arm and pulling on it. Constantine slowly started to move in the direction of the star. They moved as quickly as they could, with Constantine constantly slowing down because of his weakened body. The moon slowly fell behind the horizon and the sun came up on their backs as they came to the edge of Pyra, they breathed a sigh of relief as they to a cobbled road, leading into the center of town. The small city was coming to life as the approached it, however two men dressed in black started to come near them, they held long swords and looked ready to attack. Thomas and Constantine drew out their swords “I though the Pyra Militia color was blue?” Constantine nodded “It is, Pyra Militia also only uses spears and pikes…Damnit!” Constantine’s eyes widened with horror, his knees started to buckle and his body shake, he slowly started to step back, Thomas looked at his friend, a questioning eyebrow raised. “What’s wrong, Young Master?” Constantine raised a finger and pointed at the approaching swordsmen “slave hunters” he whispered out. Thomas soon became like his young commander, shaking with fear and backing away from the hunters.
Slave Hunters were expert swordsmen who were hired to capture new slaves and kill escaped ones. After many years, the hunters organized as a guild of sorts, contracting hunters out to the wealthy to do as they bid, and much like the town militias, they too had adopted the a color to identify themselves among crowds. The color black struck fear into any escaped slave, for they knew the color black would be the last thing they would see before they died. Hunters were brutal, efficient warriors, usually mounted on the best steeds in the land, allowing them to stay one-step ahead of any one foolish enough to escape.
Constantine and Thomas cowered before the two swordsmen. The black-clad warriors silently came towards them, their movements careful, and their eyes keeping a sharp gaze on their prey. Constantine fell to his knees, surrendering the last of his courage to the overwhelming fear that consumed him. This fear was only heightened as the sound of hooves clattered on the cobble road behind them, surely more hunters were arriving to deal the deathblow; he closed his eyes, praying for it to be painless.
“Who are you?” one of the hunters asked, Constantine looked up, a white horse and its rider was between him and the hunters. The rider was dressed in heavy purple armor, a long cape flowed down his back, a large shield with the Eblan family crest on the warrior’s back, and the hilt of a sword peaked out of the top of the shield.
“That’s none of your business, what matters is that these two are coming with me” The warrior said, dismounting and turning towards Constantine “Right, brother?” Constantine’s eye lit up, Gregor Eblan stood before him, a warm smile on his face. “Gregor…” Constantine muttered out, leaning back on his elbows. The elder brother turned to the hunters, pulling his sword and shield off his back. He raised his shield, holding his sword behind him. The hunters rushed Gregor at the same time; they dove off in two directions, and then came back at Gregor. Gregor caught one on his shield and lifted him above his head, thrusting his sword through his head, then throwing the corpse off of the shield, the second slammed his sword into Gregor’s back, but it harmlessly bounced off his armor, Gregor whirled around and smited the hunter with his shield, knocking him out and to the ground, Gregor then slammed his broad sword into the fallen hunter’s neck, amputating his head from his body. The skirmish had only lasted a few minutes, but it was the first time Constantine had seen Gregor fight so brutally, going straight for the kill rather than just knocking them out. Gregor grabbed the cloak of the one he decapitated and wiped his blood and the blood of his comrade off on it, putting his sword away. Gregor slowly walked over to his brother, putting his hand out for him “Come on, lets go home Michelle will be glad to see you” Constantine sighed and nodded, relieved his brother was there. “Right” he said as he put his hand in his brothers, and was lifted to his feet.
Eblana’s walls were still standing; the torches were lit up to drive away the darkness of the moonless night, militia stood on top of the walls, watching for any sign of life. The sound of horse hooves hitting the ground filled the air, and the Militia responded to the sound by standing ready with Bows and arrows, ready to fire down on any invaders. “Who goes there?” James Roland called out, pointing an arrow down at the figure in the darkness. “Gregor Eblan, open the gate Captain” Gregor’s voice pierced the darkness and the gates slowly started to open. The white horse carried it’s rider into the small town, Gregor held on the reigns as Constantine laid asleep against him, Thomas Ector walked beside the horse as the small party entered the city, after the gates had closed, a small crowd had gather around Gregor and Constantine. Gregor said nothing as he dismounted, pulling his brothers into his arms and cradling him like a newborn baby, Constantine’s breathing was light as he slept. Gregor walked through the city to Michelle’s house, using his boot to knock on the door. Michelle slowly opened the door, dressed only in her undergarments; she rubbed her eyes as she looked at Gregor “Master Gregor? Why the late night visit?” she asked a slight air of suspicion in her voice. Gregor held Constantine out, smiling softly “Your Husband” Michelle looked at Constantine, and then up at Gregor “Is he dead…?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes. Gregor shook his head and Michelle busted into sobs of happiness, Constantine awoke slowly and motioned for Gregor to put him down. after he was upright on his feet, Constantine pulled his wife into a tight embrace, the two stood together, surrounded by everyone in the town, as they held each other close for the first time in a long time.
“Where’s Edward?” Constantine asked as he sat on the couch In Michelle’s house, holding his beloved on his lap, looking at Gregor. Gregor stood near the door, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know, I honestly don’t know if he was alive, I honestly thought you might have been dead” he said quietly Constantine put Michelle on the spot next to him on the couch, standing up “We have to find him, Gregor!” he said, Gregor shook his head “I’ll go look for him, but you have to stay home” Constantine started to say something, but was stopped by Michelle “He’s right, darling, you’re too injured to go out looking for Young Master Edward” she said, concern in her voice. “Constantine, I promise we will find out what happened to Edward, but right now, I want you to rest and get well, I don’t want to lose you again after finding you” Gregor said, crossing his arms. Constantine gave up and walked to the bedroom, Michelle close behind. Gregor walked out of the house, looking up at the stars and sighing softly. “Merciful lord, I thank you for allowing me to find my brother, Constantine, now please…give me a sign of what happened to Edward…” he murmured to himself, walking towards Elizabeth’s home.



None.

Mar 13 2008, 12:55 pm Kainami Post #2



All that text hurts my eyes. Can you save it as a document and link it? That would be better. I stopped halfway through the prologue. Hit enter when there's dialogue. It would be better if you described it more. "The merciless sun scalded his open chest..." Good start.



None.

Mar 14 2008, 2:46 am ClansAreForGays Post #3



Change the intro so that I would want to keep reading. The wall of text is very discouraging, space it out better.

Your english teachers condition you to start off with attention getters for a reason.




Mar 14 2008, 5:07 am Joshgt2 Post #4



I'm surprised he got passed the 15,000 character count limit... That is way over the limit and I know it,,,



None.

Options
  Back to forum
Please log in to reply to this topic or to report it.
Members in this topic: None.
[2024-4-27. : 9:38 pm]
NudeRaider -- Ultraviolet
Ultraviolet shouted: NudeRaider sing it brother
trust me, you don't wanna hear that. I defer that to the pros.
[2024-4-27. : 7:56 pm]
Ultraviolet -- NudeRaider
NudeRaider shouted: "War nie wirklich weg" 🎵
sing it brother
[2024-4-27. : 6:24 pm]
NudeRaider -- "War nie wirklich weg" 🎵
[2024-4-27. : 3:33 pm]
O)FaRTy1billion[MM] -- o sen is back
[2024-4-27. : 1:53 am]
Ultraviolet -- :lol:
[2024-4-26. : 6:51 pm]
Vrael -- It is, and I could definitely use a company with a commitment to flexibility, quality, and customer satisfaction to provide effective solutions to dampness and humidity in my urban environment.
[2024-4-26. : 6:50 pm]
NudeRaider -- Vrael
Vrael shouted: Idk, I was looking more for a dehumidifer company which maybe stands out as a beacon of relief amidst damp and unpredictable climates of bustling metropolises. Not sure Amazon qualifies
sounds like moisture control is often a pressing concern in your city
[2024-4-26. : 6:50 pm]
Vrael -- Maybe here on the StarEdit Network I could look through the Forums for some Introductions to people who care about the Topics of Dehumidifiers and Carpet Cleaning?
[2024-4-26. : 6:49 pm]
Vrael -- Perhaps even here I on the StarEdit Network I could look for some Introductions.
[2024-4-26. : 6:48 pm]
Vrael -- On this Topic, I could definitely use some Introductions.
Please log in to shout.


Members Online: jjf28