[COLOR=#C876DC][URL=http://www.insane.fubar-web.net/]SANE[/URL] This is a short story that im writing, the text on the page at the very top is the opening paragraph and may or may not give you insight to what the story is about. The stories point of view and writing may be [I]odd[/I] but thats what I'm going for :D As time goes on i will update the website and this post for more info. Yes the picture on the page is of me.[/COLOR]

I already see grammatic errors.

I already see grammatic errors.

Well nothing is spelt wrong so tell me them.

Well nothing is spelt wrong so tell me them.

In sentences and paragraphs, [i]spelling[/i] is not the sole make-up of something called [i]grammar[/i]. You have a comma mistaken for a period. You also have a tendency to capitalize letters when they are not supposed to be capitalized.

In sentences and paragraphs, spelling is not the sole make-up of something called grammar.
You have a comma mistaken for a period. You also have a tendency to capitalize letters when they are not supposed to be capitalized.

When you’re a writer you can write In any register/style of writing you want, therefore it doesn’t matter :D

When you’re a writer you can write In any register/style of writing you want, therefore it doesn’t matter

Of course you can. But with those simple grammars like that, especially on a cover page... oh wow... hehe... I would just turn my self from the bookshelf, put it down, and then look for another book and never take a look at it again. When you're a writer, theres supposed to be purpose to a style and register. Hope you knew.

Of course you can. But with those simple grammars like that, especially on a cover page... oh wow... hehe...
I would just turn my self from the bookshelf, put it down, and then look for another book and never take a look at it again.
When you're a writer, theres supposed to be purpose to a style and register. Hope you knew.

It just seems like pointless 'style' to me. It's just bad grammar. I can't say I like it. At some point I'll rewrite it, perhaps, highlighting what I think are the mistakes. EDIT: Rewrite. Although, yeah, my style is different and thus my words should not be put in your mouth, just consider it a suggestion as to how a story like this should be written. I think mostly you've got problems managing mechanics, i.e., sentence structure, grammar, etc. Although your sentences could be more descriptive, a laconic prose can often descirbe a surgical environment more effectively than a verbose exposition on the starkness of life. " Sane... that unattainable description, the Holy Grail that everyone seeks. A meaningless word, applying to nothing. Insane. The word used to describe those we label as 'mentally ill'. Always branded only to some, when everyone should bear its loathsome mark. Everything is flawed, existence, society. I felt as though life had no meaning, that the omnipresence of blemish destroyed any purpose. Yet I forgot all this one that one fateful day, when she changed it all. She is the only one who is truly sane. "

It just seems like pointless 'style' to me. It's just bad grammar. I can't say I like it. At some point I'll rewrite it, perhaps, highlighting what I think are the mistakes.

EDIT: Rewrite. Although, yeah, my style is different and thus my words should not be put in your mouth, just consider it a suggestion as to how a story like this should be written. I think mostly you've got problems managing mechanics, i.e., sentence structure, grammar, etc. Although your sentences could be more descriptive, a laconic prose can often descirbe a surgical environment more effectively than a verbose exposition on the starkness of life.

" Sane... that unattainable description, the Holy Grail that everyone seeks. A meaningless word, applying to nothing. Insane. The word used to describe those we label as 'mentally ill'. Always branded only to some, when everyone should bear its loathsome mark. Everything is flawed, existence, society.
I felt as though life had no meaning, that the omnipresence of blemish destroyed any purpose. Yet I forgot all this one that one fateful day, when she changed it all. She is the only one who is truly sane. "

Jeez, is EVERONE'S name mike on sen?!

Jeez, is EVERONE'S name mike on sen?!

[QUOTE]that the omnipresence of blemish destroyed any purpose.[/QUOTE] That made it worth the re-write

Quote

that the omnipresence of blemish destroyed any purpose.

That made it worth the re-write

As much as i'd like too im not stealing the rewritten (though some of the words i dont understand..well 1.) But i'll essentially edit to have better grammar soon.

As much as i'd like too im not stealing the rewritten (though some of the words i dont understand..well 1.) But i'll essentially edit to have better grammar soon.

[quote=ToA]As much as i'd like too im not stealing the rewritten (though some of the words i dont understand..well 1.) But i'll essentially edit to have better grammar soon.[/quote] It's just meant to be a sort of guide, as your grammar needs fixing. Badly.

Quote from ToA

As much as i'd like too im not stealing the rewritten (though some of the words i dont understand..well 1.) But i'll essentially edit to have better grammar soon.

It's just meant to be a sort of guide, as your grammar needs fixing. Badly.

Its almost like you didn't finish any of middle school grammars. Lol.

Its almost like you didn't finish any of middle school grammars. Lol.