Please tell me if this is the wrong place to post this. This is a map, but I decided to give all the info here rather than waste time on the breifings. The original maps were scrapped, but the newest one follows the original story line.

-Intro-
At the start, the governments from each high nation realized that the wars between them were useless. They needed a plan inorder to survive, primarily due to the fact of losing resources on Earth. So they united to create the UG, or United Governments, to transfer all their money and equipment to a collective bunch of military. After a while, a planet that hide around another planet eliptical pattern was discovered. It had oxygen, water, and a stable gravitiational force to sustain life. So the military sent soldiers named Alpha Dogs to melt the ice covering the planet in search of resources. They named the military the FrostMarines and the planet Aliazair.

-5 years later-
Well, resources were found in numbers higher than expected. But, tunnels were also discovered. The military on the planet found these species inwhich they called "The Dwell". At the time, the militaries weapons could barely kill the high frozen defense of the creatures. The military was put through chao and they had to follow the development of the Dwell.

-200 years later-
The Steam Walkers were replaced with Reaper Technology. Previously, the now called Silencers had to be cooled with ice. But 20 years prior, new mechanical rare suits called Reapers were created that ended the need for constant cooling. The Elephant, or giant flying machine, was massively upgraded and the lone fire ships were replaced with fast jet Lizards.

The Dwell also manipulated to the situation. Due to the fact that the planet's overal temperature has changed, so has their attacks. They basic Dwell grew stronger with higher attacks but lower defense. Due to the fact that the military, now called MG for Military Government, focused on high damage units, they left their defense still weak. So they spent these years working on the Reapers.

-Present-
The government on Earth has collapsed. All military is on Alizair. No contact in over 100 years has been transfered to Earth. The last message said, "Good Luck". The FrostMarines are developing slowly more powerful Reapers to combat the Dwell. The newest weapon is the Gluke Cannon. Built with an Anti Matter Inner Core Releaser, it can kill things far beyond simple possiblities.

This is all for now...

Very nice and it certainly sounds different from the rest. Good job, and I hope you can actually not scrap the map this time .

*cough* LostPlanet *cough*
This copies almost the entire story.

Sorry to be annoying, but this story has elements of other things. It is nearly impossible in this day and age to make something without ties to other things.

Governments can unite?! Isn't it more like the United Nations?

For some reason this reminds me of DOOM 3.

This, except the story was written terribly, with childish explanations for a few main events, such as the government deciding that petty wars were not helping anything, they then expected that a new organization would solve this.

Remember that, at the moment, countries look out for their best interest, and not that of another. So, unless the whole damn world gets an attitude adjustment I don't see something like what was stated happening.

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Apr 23 2008, 9:53 pm by Deathman101.

However, lets thank humanity for coming up with the rather simple, and oddly complex, idea of "Fiction".

Also keep in mind that originality is hard to always have without relations to something else.

Try to come up with a creature and describe it without using other elements found in other creates? The simplest way you could get is probably saying "I created a -insert name-!" Ill ask "What is it? What is its looks?" then you say, "Well its a -the name again-. Duh!" That is not a solid answer of logic if thats the lowest you can go.

All my things I saw are relevent

I agree with him there. I could see a band of people coming together and forming a company/organization a more logical approach. Most likely formed in Canada or America.

There's lots of times when governments have relied on new organizations to solve problems. UN. NATO. Federal Reserve.

I think the point in Trigger's story is that something DOES happen so they get an attitude adjustment. He doesn't have to explain how this happened. It's just assumed. The point is to create a new world with a cool story, not write a systematic prediction for what will happen in the future.

The story's cool. I'd like to play it. Definitely would want to see the Gluke Cannon in action...

It is hard to think of an original game yes... but if you can't, just name it after Lost planet make it for starcraft thats your best bet!... Because if you do it this way and try to make it seem like your own idea people will ridicule you and tell you that its a remake of lost planet!.... The funny thing is even though its hard to make ideas new ones come out in theaters/games everyday so i know you can do it! So rethink about your story and change a lot, because... right now it doesn't just resemble Lost Planet it is Lost Planet!
-Thats just my opinion take it too heart or not!

Who cares if people ridicule you? Just make what you want to make. If it's a good map, they'll respect you for it.

I will now be adding a section where you can ask about FrostHells History. I have so many things, but not answers to all, that I would like to mention.

Ill start it off with this.

-Data Sync: Gluke Anti-Matter Selective Cannon
Info: Created 100 years ago from present time. Used to hinder Tyranus inner core, for the temp. change 100 years ago modified its armour to unmeasured ammounts. It uses a Gluke Turbine Storage to activate the missile it self based off where you position it. So far, Only Reapers can program Gluke Missiles. Negative: High roll back causing the Gluke Turbine Storage to leak spent fuel (Basically it goes Boom).

You should edit your top post to include that info

How does a fuel leak turn into a massive explosion without any ignition?

The Gluke Turbine Storage runs off of power fused with Glaciate (Ice) that creates a chemical that burns to ignite the Gluke Missile itself. The down side is, the missile requires alot of power from the chemical that in reality it doesn't really need, so it causes an environmental leak (The Turbine Storage hits critical and blows). MG, or Military Government, on Aliazair have been able to make it where the explosion does not harm near by FrostMarines. This is one of the last things that the UG, United Governments, covered for the research. The last exploration was "The Reapers"

-Data Sync: Reapers.
High tactical transfer armoured robotic marines. They trasnfer commands through number codes ranging from any combination of 7 numbers from 1 to 9. They have been giving 9.51 mm Large Machine Guns. The positive of these units is the fact that their basic suits do not require Glaciate to keep them powered unlike previous human and non human frostmarines.

Cons: Even though they can give commands to team mates with numbers, they lack basic commands and some understanding. Situations where there are two people, one who has a greater chance of death, cause the Reapers to get confused. They also lack a program to tell how much of something left they have (Ex. Medi-Gels, Neuro Mines, etc.) Corrections are being made. These new units are about 20 years old.