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Fiction Writing
Oct 21 2010, 11:36 pm
By: ClansAreForGays  

Oct 21 2010, 11:36 pm ClansAreForGays Post #1



Jessica and Nate stood at the front of the building. It was perfectly square with windows, and just a rather plain looking door. “You really need to work on your introductions Nate”, scolded the professor, standing behind them.
“Professor, what exactly is this?”, Jessica walks over to the door, running her hands down the frame.
“This is your story, or rather, Nate's story”
Jessica jerks her hand away from the door, visibly repulsed. The professor chuckles slightly and advances towards the door. Nate, oblivious to the offense, prepares himself next to the door, just walking in place. “So then...”, Nate starts, “this room, is like a metaphor for my story?”
“More of an analogy Nate”, the professor pats his head, “but close enough”

The two students enter the room, followed by the professor who closes the door behind himself. Utter blackness. Nothing can be seen, nothing can be heard, only the floor beneath them can be felt. Jessica is shaking, but in the darkness doesn't care to hide it, “Professor!”
“No need to be frightened Jessica”, the professor comforts her, putting his hand on her shoulder, “this is how all stories start out, in the dark” the professor leaves Jessica, and wandered deeper into the darkness, feeling around with his hands “now let's see if his the writing has any direction”
“What's taking you guys so long!” Nate shouts at them from what sounds a hundred yards away, “I thought you were supposed to be smart professor!”
“You wrote the story Nate, no one can understand this world better than you”, the professor's grasping hands finally find their way to a railing. “Come Jessica, I think I know where this story is going”

In the darkness, Jessica pulls herself forward, one hand on the railing, the other pointed in front of her to guard against any surprise walls that might jump out at her. She picks up the pace. The room smells of sweat, blood, and fart. Typical guy story she thinks to herself. She hates this place and wants to get through it as fast as possible. “Ouch!” Jessica had stubbed her toe on a half-submerged stone jutting out from the ground.
“I'm sorry Jessica, I really should have warned you about that. There's tons of those scattered about here.”
“Hurry up slowpokes!”, Nate bellowed from the other end of the room.
“It's not our fault you're story is riddled with grammatical errors slowing us down!”, Jessica huffed, “I mean really, he then run outside, REALLY?!”
“Get over it over it grammar Nazi” Nate laughed back at her.
“Both of you quit, and get back to the story”
Jessica does one of those closed mouth screams, and drops it.

The professor had let Jessica take the lead because he felt she was relying too much on him to get her through it all. Jessica could feel the flimsy railing guiding them start to wobble. It was even starting to rust away more and more as they walked.
“We're nearing the end Jessica”
She breathed a sigh of relief. After a few more steps, the railing brakes off in her hand, and she's standing next to Nate. She could actually make him out a little in the dark. She wasn't sure when it happened, but there was at least some light now, but she couldn't say where it was coming from.
“Alright. The end. Can we leave now?”
“Not so fast Jessica,” the professor had not stopped walking. He was now going off in all directions, feeling around the walls. “We still need to find the meaning, what the author was actually trying to tell us.”
Jessica let out a groan, an offense Nate was again oblivious to. She begins to mime the professor, feeling around the wall for some sort of 'switch', something that will bring a new light to the whole story, and see it for what it was meant to be seen as.
After about ten minutes of nothing, Jessica finds a light switch, and flips it. The room is now bathed in light, and strangely empty.
“I get it professor! There was no point! He's just a stupid boy writing a stupid boy story!”


Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Oct 21 2010, 11:43 pm by ClansAreForGays.




Oct 22 2010, 3:12 am DavidJCobb Post #2



     Jessica and Nate stood at the front of the building. It was perfectly square, with a few windows and a rather plain looking door.

     "You really need to work on your introductions, Nate", scolded their professor, standing behind them.
     "Professor, what exactly is this?" Jessica asked as she walked over to the door, running her hands down the frame.
     "This is your story, or rather, Nate's story."
     Jessica jerked her hand away from the door, visibly repulsed. The professor chuckled slightly, and advanced towards the door. Nate, oblivious to the offense, prepared himself next to the door, just walking in place.
     "So then...", Nate started, "this room is like a metaphor for my story?"
     "More of an analogy, Nate," the professor answered as he patted his pupil's head, "but close enough."

     The two students entered the room. Their professor entered after them, closing the door and bathing the room in utter blackness. The three of them couldn't see or hear anything; they could only feel the floor beneath their feet. In the darkness, Jessica, shaking, made no effort to hide her unease. "Professor!" she called out, nervous.
     "No need to be frightened, Jessica," the professor comforted her. "This is how all stories start out: in the dark."
     The professor stepped away from her and wandered deeper into the darkness, feeling around with his hands. "Now let&'s see if his the writing has any direction."
     "What's taking you guys so long?!" Nate shouted at them from afar. He sounded as though he were a hundred yards away. "I thought you were supposed to be smart, Professor!"
"You wrote the story, Nate. No one can understand this world better than you." The professor's grasping hands finally found their way to a railing. "Come, Jessica. I think I know where this story is going."

     In the darkness, Jessica pulled herself forward, one hand on the railing, the other pointed in front of her to guard against any surprise walls that might jump out at her. She started to move faster, noting that the room stank of sweat, blood, and flatulence. Typical guy story, she thought to herself. She hated this room, this story, and she wanted to get through it as fast as possible. Her thoughts were interrupted when she cried out in pain, having stubbed her toe on a half-buried stone jutting from the ground.
     "I'm sorry, Jessica, I really should have warned you about that," the professor called back. "There's tons of those scattered about here."
     "Hurry up, slowpokes!" Nate bellowed from the other end of the room.
     "It's not our fault your story is riddled with grammatical errors slowing us down!" Jessica huffed, "I mean, really? 'He then run outside'? REALLY?!"
     "Get over it over it, grammar Nazi!" Nate laughed back at her.
     "Both of you quit, and get back to the story," the professor snapped. Jessica did one of those closed-mouth screams.

     The professor had let Jessica take the lead because he felt she was relying too much on him to get her through it all. Jessica could feel the flimsy railing guiding them start to wobble. It was even starting to rust away as they walked.
     "We're nearing the end, Jessica," the professor commented.
     She breathed a sigh of relief. After a few more steps, the railing broke off in her hand, and she found herself standing next to Nate. She could just barely see him in the dark; she realized that at some point in the past few minutes, the area had become just a bit brighter.
     "Alright. The end. Can we leave now?" she asked.
     "Not so fast, Jessica" the professor said, continuing to walk. He was moving in all directions, feeling around the walls. "We still need to find the meaning -- what the author was actually trying to tell us."
     Jessica let out a groan, another expression of impatience that Nate failed to notice. She began to mimic the professor, feeling around the wall for some sort of switch, something that would bring a new light to the whole story, so that its two readers could see it for what it really was. After ten minutes of fruitless searching, Jessica found a lightswitch. She flipped it, bathing the room in light.
     The room was empty. was empty.
     "I get it, Professor! There was no point! He's just a stupid boy writing a stupid boy story!"

FTFY. Good concept. :)



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Nov 7 2010, 3:41 am ClansAreForGays Post #3



Turning this into a page page short story, and just copied you're edit thinking you only spaced it out. I see now you changed it a lot and made it much better, thanks!
The only part I'm reverting is
Quote
She started to move faster, noting that the room stank of sweat, blood, and flatulence. Typical guy story, she thought to herself.
because I feel like the 'lol' aspect was neutered.




Nov 10 2010, 9:58 pm DavidJCobb Post #4



Quote from ClansAreForGays
Turning this into a page page short story, and just copied you're edit thinking you only spaced it out. I see now you changed it a lot and made it much better, thanks!
The only part I'm reverting is
Quote
She started to move faster, noting that the room stank of sweat, blood, and flatulence. Typical guy story, she thought to herself.
because I feel like the 'lol' aspect was neutered.
No problem. :)



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