This is a song i'm working, i recorded it tonight in front of my video camera, but i got rid of the video and just kept the audio.

Note: My voice is a bit shot.

http://www.purevolume.com/openarmsrejectassuminghands

Better than anything I've seen from you so far, but to be fair, that's not saying much. Your lyrics need an excessive amount of work, and I am still not a fan of your voice.

I like the opening guitar rift with the picking. The strumming part that you put in between it is OK. I'm pretty sure that you don't play it long enough the first time... and that it takes you out of time. Or you may just be using a weird time there on purpose, not sure. Honestly, I can't place my finger on it. It just sounds wrong.

The second time that you strummed coming off the picking part worked much better (I know it was leading into a different part this time, but still).

Then we got to the vocals. The vocals are really shotty and hard to listen to. The lyrics, on the whole, seem pretty average. There's a lot of saying something and just repeating it (at least nearer the beginning)... which I think is more due to poor construction/lazy writing than done on purpose. Try to stay away from cliche's like "I'm like a fish out of water". The newborn line is much better. The "yeah I'm fading out part" that you do a thousand times did not work for me. I like the going back to the beginning though.

I liked the guitar, but work on your singing a bit. lol

This. Also, on the vocals, work on your tuning and dynamics. The dynamics seem a little random, and you sing a little out of tune most of the time, and sometimes you miss pitches by at least a half-step.

Just when you said "I am like fish," with the big pause afterward, I kinda lol'd. It's like something that would be in a YTMND.

My voice was shot so some of my messed up singing was because of that.

And like it says, its not done, it's a demo.

but thank you.

Yeah... definitely can't expect everything to be right the first time through (this is basically what I'd call 'the first time through'). I took note of the fact that you admitted yourself your voice was shot ahead of time. Which is why I only donated like 10 words of response to vocals.

It kind of seems like you got tired midway with the music like its different lengths and sound level at different times, It would probably sound better if you kept it the same level of volume and length throughout the song.