Char is subsequently rich with minerals. We could trade that!

How about we artificially construct a planet out of all the plastics and shitty Hair Metal Records/Tapes/CDs that seemed like a good thing at the time, and then breed our own army of mutant lizard-snake- rat-things to live on it?

I mean, it'd save the environment, and it'd also be awesome.

Plus it can have a surface covered in molten plastic.