Pleasant Lies
Jun 10 2008, 2:06 am
By: Phobos  

Jun 10 2008, 2:06 am Phobos Post #1

Are you sure about that?

Sweet taste of a living lie
Felt in the touch of your hands
Felt in the flavor of yours lips
Like a nightmare I don't want to wake from

There is no hurry, she says
Deception in ears like a melody
Thruth through your eyes is spoken
Painful words of a bitter lie

Don't hold my hand like that
My desire for your caresses grows
But this isn't what I wanted
You take me somewhere I can't go

Held tight and firmly pulled
Ahold to let go and suffer then
Why waiting? The time is right
Uncertainty of what they call desire

A lie is what this is, and that's all you are
Never told promises of happiness and pleasure
All reduced to ashes, what we chose to be
All reduced to waste, what we chased to live

I'd go anywhere with you, but I can't go there
I'd do anything for you, but I can't do this
Of all things you ask is my life you can't have
For to lose myself or kill my will I won't

Stabbing my own heart rather than hurting you
But now for you death though certain is random and opportune
A minute, a second gone cut by the swing of life
How easy it is to lose what to build took a life

There is no love but this confusion now
But ti all comes down to this moment
This sweet taste of a living lie in my lips
Taste the soft temptation that turns bitter

Don't you even touch my hand
Never told promises of a now broken will
Last chapters of a life reduced to pleasant lies
Lay in my now lonely grasp




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Jun 10 2008, 9:00 am pneumatic Post #2



This is intense. Did you write it?



None.

Jun 10 2008, 11:03 am Phobos Post #3

Are you sure about that?

Yeah, I did. That's why it's posted here XD



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Jun 10 2008, 10:00 pm InsolubleFluff Post #4



I think that even if poems don't have a rhyming scheme they have the ability to be good, however, this in particular didn't quite reach my taste. I found some lines were weak or even "cliche" and though there was a story behind it all, it seemd too jumbled. Sophisticated yet not impressed. I think with rhymes this would of been less intense for sure, but boosted the quality of reading.



None.

Jun 10 2008, 10:07 pm Phobos Post #5

Are you sure about that?

Cliche? The heart thing?



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Jun 10 2008, 11:09 pm InsolubleFluff Post #6



Felt in the flavor of yours lips

This was the first line i picked it up, savouring the taste of somebodies mouth / lips is so over-used and the verge of becoming some kind of cliche line.



None.

Jun 10 2008, 11:33 pm Phobos Post #7

Are you sure about that?

Oh, I see. Hey, it's my 5th time wiriting lyrics >_>

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jun 10 2008, 11:58 pm by Phobos.



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Jun 11 2008, 1:31 am InsolubleFluff Post #8



I hope by lyrics you meant poetry, because if that were a song, it's doomed.



None.

Jun 11 2008, 2:22 am Phobos Post #9

Are you sure about that?

I'd rather have this not go on anymore.



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