alright my dudes today I marched out into sweltering liquid fire to get you some sick pics so you better subscribe to my myspace page and upvote my napster account
so first I start my
afternoon morning with a healthy lunch full of nutrients needed to get me through the disgusting hellhole of a day this is going to be
fuck yeah
hey let's get that food eater I left outside before I died
wait, what's that in the door? Oh fuck, it's mail. This is always a great discovery!
yep, because we aren't struggling just to feed ourselves or anything. Actually, this is really good news, because it insinuates we aren't getting evicted any time soon, and rent starts at $1k higher than what we're paying for right now (assuming you can find a place to rent at all) because that's how bad inflation has gotten. I'll take starving over having to kill myself quite yet because I've actually come to rather enjoy D&D.
You'd think all the heat would make nothing grow. Nope! Humidity ensures grass, weeds, and fuck else keeps growing even during the worst droughts. It's like an Amazon. Breathing is very very difficult, it's like inhaling liquid fire. I almost faint at least three times today. I have to keep going though, because if I don't then I'll be homeless for sure.
Thankfully for me, my landlords have provided some sick Canadian engineering that can help me. Like this re-purposed three-prong wire whose grounding connector has been conveniently sawed off so you can plug it into a standard outlet. Sweet!
Hey. Let me swing by you cucks a riddle. Trivia. A quiz.
You need to replace a fence. The fence has a gate. The question comes up from your supervisor how you should orient the gate. Should it be away from the house, so you can just open it? Or, should it open on the side of the house, prompting you to saw holes through water ducts, removing a drain guard, and forcing you to lift the gate every time you try to open it so it doesn't get stuck on said drain guard?
If you answered with 1.) you are NOT a Canadian.
After nearly dying I decided to try to take some photos of this bush swarming with bees. As it turns out, about 2 of 30 photos were not incomprehensible masses of color because of being out of focus. Despite the camera having auto focus it was just impossible to get a clean shot. My envy to all of you professionals who somehow are able to snap clear images.
Spiderbro on a porch that will collapse if you stand on it, and whose railings desintigrate if you grab onto them.
I tried to get like 8 billion photos of this mini tarantula thing but only a single one came out even legible.
Show them your butt, and when you do, slap it so it creates a sound akin to a chorus of screaming spider monkeys flogging a chime with cacti. Only then can you find your destiny at the tip of the shaft.