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Skywindragoon Campaign Series
Jul 25 2020, 2:09 pm
By: SkywinDragoon  

Jul 25 2020, 2:09 pm SkywinDragoon Post #1



This is a campaign map series I worked on. The series has currently 9 maps (the series is not done tho) and I am translating one by one to make it playable among non-Korean players.

Story is very childish and unserious, because I thought there are too many campaign maps with serious story.
The overall difficulty is very easy, comparing with other custom campaign maps, and even with the original campaign.

There is only two map fully translated to English. Leave me comments if you like it, and I will translate more.

VIDEO OF THE LATEST EPISODE



THE STORY

Skywindragoon wants to eat ramen. But Naughty probes gets in his way. Can he eat ramen he desires? Actually stupid story tbh

DOWNLOAD

[Updated 2020-07-26 : Uploaded Episode 2]
[Updated 2020-07-28 : Fixed bug in Episode 1 related with Bound Easter Egg]
[Updated 2020-08-07 : Uploaded Episode 3]

Post has been edited 9 time(s), last time on Aug 8 2020, 10:44 am by SkywinDragoon.



None.

Jul 25 2020, 3:18 pm Oh_Man Post #2

Find Me On Discord (Brood War UMS Community & Staredit Network)

Here are some tips for what I've noticed so far to improve the translation:

"ominous oracle" - based on the context of this sentence I believe it should be ominous omen. Oracle is like a person who makes predictions. Omen is like a mystical sign upon which the oracle makes the prediction.

"even more hungrier" this is a type of mistake called a "double superlative". It should be "even more hungry" or "even hungrier" - not both.

"You got Mineral" I would change to "You found Minerals." or "You obtained Minerals".

"You catched a Bad Guy" should be "You caught a Bad Guy". Caught is "past tense" of catch. I can see how one would make this mistake though as many other words use "ed" as past tense. Just another example of the flaws of English.

"There's robbery! Run!" should be "There's a robbery! Run!" Even that sounds a little weird, though. I would instead say "Robbers! Run!"

There's a Supermarket. I can buy a ramen there." remove the a to say "I can buy ramen there." Any words with a plural or implied plural don't have the "a" in front. Sometimes even both work, "I can buy a fish there." (singular) "I can buy fish there." (implied plural of buying multiple types of fish there).

"You have not enough minerals." I know this is something the Protoss voice literally says in Starcraft but I would say it's not really correct. "You don't have enough minerals." seems like what it should be.

"You obtained Pot" = "You obtained a Pot."

"Hangout Place" (Engineering Bay building). A place where you hangout is called a hangout. The word "place" is redundant, because the word Hangout already implies that it is a place. It would be like calling a Bookshop a Bookshop Shop or a Restaurant a Restaurant Place. So I would just rename it to "Hangout".

"Naughtie" = "Naughty". I noticed when you build the shuttle it takes them to kindergarten, so maybe they should be called "Naughty Children"? Another word you can use is "Truant". A pupil who stays away from school without leave or explanation.

"This entrance of parking lot is blocked..." = "This entrance of the parking lot is blocked..." or "The entrance of this parking lot is blocked."

"I can't just do it because I am so weak" = "I just can't do it because I'm so weak."

"So I wish you to break this for me." I would change this to say "Could you break this for me?"

"I collected 1000 minerals and by that means, I can now buy Ramen at last.
"Also I might buy other stuffs if I have extra money."
^This was in Korean still instead of saying Skywindragoon.

I would also change them to:
"I collected 1000 minerals, and that means I can buy Ramen at last."
"Also I might buy other stuff if I have extra money."

"Stuffs" as a noun is incorrect. The reason it is different from other collective nouns is because it is also a mass noun. Words like rice, water, smoke, and cement are all mass nouns (or uncountable nouns). You could say "several piles of stuff" to make it plural, but not "several stuffs."

The Water Dispenser was not invincible so I destroyed it, but nothing happened, so I presume you forgot to make it invincible.

"You'd better should watch yourself." = "You better watch yourself" or "You should watch yourself."

"Get off from our area, you dumbass!" This is broken English but I'm not sure why. I would instead say: "Get out of here, you dumbass!" or "Get out of our area, you dumbass!" or "Get off our property, you dumbass!"

"Well, you asked for it, don't you?" = "Well, you asked for it, didn't you?"

It took me awhile to figure out that I had to "collect" the Pylon by walking next to it. Maybe objectives could have been clearer? Also is "sound of ramen cooking" a placeholder because you don't have the sound effect yet??"

I would change "they're stealing my ramen" to "they stole my ramen" because they've already stolen it and ran off.

"Little does Skywindragoon knew..." = "Little did Skywindragoon know..." or "Little does Skywindragoon know..."


^ This part not translated.


I finished the game and got a rank of C. How does one get a higher rank??

Good job. I would play more! Could you translate other works from Korea?

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jul 25 2020, 10:06 pm by Oh_Man.




Jul 25 2020, 11:45 pm SkywinDragoon Post #3



I think I've correct all of the errors you've pointed out. That was really helpful.

Quote from Oh_Man
I finished the game and got a rank of C. How does one get a higher rank??

In the end of the game, few criteria appears and checks if the player satisfies them.
Each criterion will give you scores separately. The rank will be decided based on the total score.

If you get perfect score on all criteria, you will get rank of A.
Getting rank of A will activate secret bonus criterion, which gives one extra score.

rank A + getting an extra score will give you rank of S.



None.

Jul 29 2020, 9:59 pm Rawflesh0615 Post #4



Quote from SkywinDragoon
This is a campaign map series I worked on. The series has currently 9 maps (the series is not done tho) and I am translating one by one to make it playable among non-Korean players.

Story is very childish and unserious, because I thought there are too many campaign maps with serious story.
The overall difficulty is very easy, comparing with other custom campaign maps, and even with the original campaign.

There is only two map fully translated to English. Leave me comments if you like it, and I will translate more.

VIDEO OF THE LATEST EPISODE



THE STORY

Skywindragoon wants to eat ramen. But Naughty probes gets in his way. Can he eat ramen he desires? Actually stupid story tbh

DOWNLOAD

[Updated 2020-07-26 : Uploaded Episode 2]
[Updated 2020-07-28 : Fixed bug in Episode 1 related with Bound Easter Egg]

No problem, I love Starcraft SERIOUS campaign were better than parody ones. Because it might increase the strength of the story alot of better which is my opinion.



None.

Aug 1 2020, 6:13 am SkywinDragoon Post #5



Quote from Rawflesh0615

No problem, I love Starcraft SERIOUS campaign were better than parody ones. Because it might increase the strength of the story alot of better which is my opinion.

I know but serious story is too much cliched, so I tried alternative approach for this one.
Although even this story gets kinda serious as it progresses.



None.

Aug 1 2020, 10:05 pm DaMnUFo0 Post #6



Always good to see custom map contents from the Korean community translated into English. I'll give it a try when you release more maps. Although I don't need the translation it would be good for my viewers.

Cheers~




Aug 6 2020, 3:05 pm SkywinDragoon Post #7



Just finished translating the third episode.



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