Staredit Network > Forums > Null > Topic: Advice?
Advice?
Nov 14 2011, 8:42 pm
By: ubermctastic
Pages: 1 2 3 >
 

Nov 14 2011, 8:42 pm ubermctastic Post #1



Ok so there's a small problem in a group of friends of mine at school, and I was wondering if anyone thinks this is strange. Or should I do anything?

A girl (who just moved to our school recently) who is in the group of friends is always hanging out with this one guy in the group (who incidetentally also just move here). We've been teasing them that they're gonna get married, and she was getting really ticked at us (justifiably so). Last week I was making a comment about it to see if she REALLY did like him. She said no, but not just no, she emphasized "there's nothing between us". We come to school today, and suddenly the two of them are dating, which honestly didn't surprise me, but for that one small lie (or truth idk).
When I brought it up to her, she completely denied that she had said it, and more specifically put it "I don't remember saying that"
I pushed, and she goes, "Even if I did say that maybe I've changed my mind."

I would just think she was trying to get us to stop bothering her, but back a while ago, she told me that she had been in several relationships where she didn't like the person, but said yes anyway and dumped them after a week or two.

I have 4 possible hunches about the situation

1. She really does like him
2. She really does like him and she's a pathalogical liar
3. She's dating him to spite all the people who were teasing her about it
4. She's going to dump him like a piece crap and she's a pathalogical liar



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Nov 14 2011, 9:18 pm Oh_Man Post #2

Find Me On Discord (Brood War UMS Community & Staredit Network)

When you brought it up where others present or was it just you two. Obviously, the social situation would factor into her response. Hell, I'd probably lie in that situation too. You should also find out how they started dating, like who asked who. She probably liked him but didn't want to say she liked him before they were going out. This is typical behaviour.

I like how some of your hunches directly contradict each other. :bleh:

Why are you so concerned about such a trivial matter anyway?? Do you harbour feelings yourself, hmm?




Nov 14 2011, 10:00 pm ubermctastic Post #3



ahh what the hell, I was going to make it sound like I was completely innocent in this, but I don't really give a shit
I mentioned her in this thread
http://www.staredit.net/topic/13884/0/
Used to like her, asked her out, got rejected, she fed me a shitload of crap including "you're lucky I said no. Usually I just dump guys after like two weeks"
The guy I was trying to get her away from at that point is nowhere around her, she barely even talks to him (she basically stopped talking to him when I confronted her about her using him)
Now she's hanging out with this other guy and it's getting serious.
I don't honestly feel like that for her anymore because she's insane, I just think she has a history of using guys, and I also think she's doing it to spite me for being an asshole about it. I would prefer she was just out of the picture altogether honestly.
I guess I just asked the initial question so I could justify hating this girls guts.
Real problem is she's forcing herself into the group, and I don't want them to date because then she'll be around ALL THE TIME.
HELP ME GET RID OF THIS WOMAN



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Nov 14 2011, 10:30 pm Voyager7456 Post #4

Responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast

If she dumps guys after two weeks then she shouldn't be in your group for very long.



all i am is a contrary canary
but i'm crazy for you
i watched you cradling a tissue box
sneezing and sniffling, you were still a fox


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Nov 14 2011, 10:35 pm ubermctastic Post #5



If that's the case I'll be rid of her. :D
Is there a name for this kind of behavior?



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Nov 14 2011, 10:36 pm Oh_Man Post #6

Find Me On Discord (Brood War UMS Community & Staredit Network)

I know I'll probably sound like an asshole after this but what the heck.

Back in school (like 5 years ago now) I used to play these sort of mindgames. My friend and I would concoct these devilish plans to break people up, basically for the same reasons as you. Annoying bitches that were pussy whipping our mates and just generally annoying us and breaking up the group. I remember having a lot of fun doing it though in hindsight it was pretty cruel and immature. Anyway a good example of the one time we broke up a couple was by getting on our mates MSN and writing msgs to the girl. Then we made an email address that was unique as her email address (but with like an extra character or whatever), and deleted her MSN off his friends and added our own fake one.

Then we went on that one, pretending to be the gf now, and said a bunch of shit to him. So now both parties thought that the other had said X or Y, so when they met in RL, the conflict just perpetuated naturally and they ended up breaking up.


That was the best one we did and I admit it was huuugely satisfying at the time. But yeh, immoral. But hey, if this chick is some user-abuser then I don't think it's that immoral if you do something similar, eh??




Nov 14 2011, 10:56 pm Lanthanide Post #7



If you have sufficient evidence to think she's a user-abuser, just tell the guy that. Full disclosure and he knows what he's getting into. He can make up his own mind - don't make it up for him. Also, people change, just 'cause she was a bitch in the past doesn't mean she will forever more be one.



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Nov 14 2011, 11:11 pm TiKels Post #8



Quote from name:K_A
Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Yes, it's called Vagina Dentata...

It's essentially vaginal vampirism. She craves the cock.

In seriousness, you should, if you want to harm her emotionally, call her a slut. It's really simple. Get detailed about it though, compare her to "normal" girls and then show her how she is completely "fucked up". Probably mention something like "if anyone knew what you were actually like, people would be disgusted to even walk past you". Maybe put it in writing and put it in her locker.



"If a topic that clearly interest noone needs to be closed to underline the "we don't want this here" message, is up to debate."

-NudeRaider

Nov 14 2011, 11:17 pm Doodan Post #9



It depends on how good of a friend you consider the guy. A couple of years ago, I was dating a girl and I became unimpressed with her very quickly. One of my friends began developing really strong feelings for her and I noticed. I was planning on dumping her and telling my friend that she's not worth it until she revealed that they'd already been seeing each other behind my back. So I dumped her and did not warn him. A few months later, she cheated on him with some random guy, contracted herpes, and spread it to him. They had a huge fight, but somehow, they're still together. I'm clean. :P

I'd have warned him if he hadn't betrayed my trust at the last second. Even though I'd already lost interest in the girl, I still thought it was low of him to pursue her while she was still technically with me. Sometimes douche bags deserve each other.



None.

Nov 15 2011, 12:02 am Azrael Post #10



Quote from Lanthanide
Also, people change, just 'cause she was a bitch in the past doesn't mean she will forever more be one.

And to expand on this, just because she was a bitch to you doesn't mean she'll be one to everyone else.




Nov 15 2011, 1:30 am Moose Post #11



Quote from name:Azrael.Wrath
Quote from Lanthanide
Also, people change, just 'cause she was a bitch in the past doesn't mean she will forever more be one.

And to expand on this, just because she was a bitch to you doesn't mean she'll be one to everyone else.
This.

Quote from TiKels
In seriousness, you should, if you want to harm her emotionally, call her a slut. It's really simple. Get detailed about it though, compare her to "normal" girls and then show her how she is completely "fucked up". Probably mention something like "if anyone knew what you were actually like, people would be disgusted to even walk past you". Maybe put it in writing and put it in her locker.
What are we, 12? Let's save the sabotage for the truly extreme situations that warrant it. If you sabotage that relationship, then you're not a very good friend regardless of whether or not she is (insert bad things here). Sabotaging the relationship would be denying his right to make honest and informed choices about his relationship. If she is (insert bad things here), then she won't be able to hide it from your friend for very long and either she will start to change or the relationship will fail without your intervention.

I'm going to recommend taking whatever high road there is. Begin with a careful examination of yourself for any hints of jealousy. After that, if you genuinely believe that she'll cause problems for your friend, then privately pull him aside and express your concerns. He might respond by telling something that you don't know. Personally, for a situation like this, I think it's best to gather as much information as you can before making any moves.

Did she lie? I can't tell you. There is a chance that "nothing going on between us" meant that what would consider to be "something going on" was happening, but that her idea of "something going on" involves an official agreed-upon relationship. It could also mean that she feels what she is doing with this guy isn't really your business and she doesn't have to answer to you. (It isn't and she doesn't. Bitchy and arguably she should have been upfront if that were the case, but true.) If they were in a relationship when she said that, then you have a legit concern to express to your friend as her denying the relationship is disrespectful to your friend and also a trust issue.

If after you've said what you need to say to your friend, they decide to continue the relationship, it really isn't in your control. He's your friend and she makes him happy, and a good friend should want his friends to be happy. So long as you are honest about things and supportive of his decisions, I'm sure he will appreciate that.




Nov 15 2011, 1:41 am ubermctastic Post #12



Thanks guys I'm glad SEN is full of good people (most of the time)



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Nov 15 2011, 3:03 am Sacrieur Post #13

Still Napping

Needs 20% more tentacle rape.



None.

Nov 15 2011, 3:04 am ubermctastic Post #14



Quote from Sacrieur
Needs 20% more tentacle rape.
Thaaaaaaaaat's kinda creepy...
Not gonna lie



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Nov 15 2011, 3:05 am CecilSunkure Post #15



Sounds like an ordinary girl to me. She just didn't like being put on the spot or being called out for liking the guy, and didn't seem to like people teasing or being nosy about it. I think you're over-thinking the whole thing a bit K_A.



None.

Nov 15 2011, 3:11 am Dem0n Post #16

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Maybe your comment of them liking each other made her realize that she actually did like him, so she/he asked the other one out and they accepted. ;O




Nov 15 2011, 3:28 am ubermctastic Post #17



I wouldn't say ordinary.

She's obsessed with reading books, she's extremely vain, and she thinks she's a ninja...
Not kidding, she signs her name Ninja on homework...

She literally told me "I could kill you, but there are too many witnesses" (this is funny to her, because she's a ninja)
me: "if you were a good ninja you would be able to kill me without anyone seeing" (duh)
her: "Yeah, well I'm letting you off this time"
She says the same crappy jokes almost every day... to the same people... and then snickers to herself about them.^

I'm almost certain that she only reads books for the sole purpose of looking smart to people who don't know her.
She obsesses about really stupid stuff that she deems "awesome", (not on purpose where it's funny but when nobody thinks it's funny because she is legitamately obsessed). The list of "awesome" includes herself, and she makes it a point to announce this to everyone whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Basically she has no personality of her own, her entire personality is based off of other things that she obsesses about. This leads me to believe that she is indeed extremely shallow. Probably the most shallow person who's ever read a book from cover to cover.


Edit:
He's clearly liked her for a long time... so no



None.

Nov 15 2011, 3:51 am Sand Wraith Post #18

she/her

Quote from Sacrieur
Needs 20% more tentacle rape.

I'll settle for +1 tentacle rape.




Nov 15 2011, 4:11 am Oh_Man Post #19

Find Me On Discord (Brood War UMS Community & Staredit Network)

So fuckin conservative!


...Should at least be 75%




Nov 15 2011, 4:33 am CecilSunkure Post #20



Quote from name:K_A
I wouldn't say ordinary.

She's obsessed with reading books, she's extremely vain, and she thinks she's a ninja...
Not kidding, she signs her name Ninja on homework...

She literally told me "I could kill you, but there are too many witnesses" (this is funny to her, because she's a ninja)
me: "if you were a good ninja you would be able to kill me without anyone seeing" (duh)
her: "Yeah, well I'm letting you off this time"
She says the same crappy jokes almost every day... to the same people... and then snickers to herself about them.^

I'm almost certain that she only reads books for the sole purpose of looking smart to people who don't know her.
She obsesses about really stupid stuff that she deems "awesome", (not on purpose where it's funny but when nobody thinks it's funny because she is legitamately obsessed). The list of "awesome" includes herself, and she makes it a point to announce this to everyone whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Basically she has no personality of her own, her entire personality is based off of other things that she obsesses about. This leads me to believe that she is indeed extremely shallow. Probably the most shallow person who's ever read a book from cover to cover.


Edit:
He's clearly liked her for a long time... so no
Sounds like you like her yourself!



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