I'm applying for this position, and would like to have this cover letter quickly critiqued as I've never written one before:



What do you all think? Should I change anything?

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Nov 8 2010, 6:36 pm by CecilSunkure.

... Looks nice. I'd say you're qualified for the job, at least.

Though we all know your name, Cecil, no point trying to hide it.

You aren't supposed to address cover letters to "To whom it may concern". You're better off finding out who will be looking at your letter, by phone or email, and addressing the letter to Dear Mr. Blah or Mrs. Blah.

Also, I assume you have a seperate resume/CV?

EDIT
Oh yeah, linking to your blog will show them that you aren't actually proficient in C, as you've only just done pointers. Any experienced programmer will see that you're actually a beginner in C, not proficient as such.

I would re-write this as ",although I have had to defer enrollment until 2011 due to financial issues. As such, I am currently seeking employment." Just a couple of little aesthetic things, so it's up to you.

And you might want to tell them if you're good with people, and if you have any professional experience with talking to people or anything, as they want someone for customer support stuff.

Post has been edited 2 time(s), last time on Nov 8 2010, 7:58 pm by Jack.

Yeah, what you've blogged about for C is pretty much the first 3 weeks of a CS course in C. And it's not really relevant to the position. Harp on your self-teaching and explain how it means you're ambitious with a strong interest in technology and the gaming industry. Perhaps that would be a more relevant place for the link to your blog.

The job description says: "We are looking for candidates with 1 to 2 years of experience in a technical support position"
I'm guessing you don't have that, so you need to give reasoning for why you're applying anyway. "I need a job" isn't satisfactory.

"I am an individual"
No shit.

"experience owning a Nintendo DS"
What? You use experience in pretty much every line. Try:

"I've personally configured both Wii and DS systems to work on personal wireless networks."

"an excellent and capable individual" ... you're an "excellent individual?" ... Relevance. Ambitious would fit better here.

Companies do more and mean more than just the product/service they provide. I would take sometime to learn the social responsibility and mission statement of the company. Find out if they value you as a team player or as innovative and free thinking. They are looking at you as an investment, even though you're working temp, so they want you to fit their company; they don't want to fit their company to you. It looks like you'll be doing customer service, so if I were you I'd mention any customer service/interaction you have had helping people, even if it isn't directly related to gaming, as well as your experience and interest in the field of troubleshooting. If you're also attaching a resume, I'd take out the bullet points entirely, and summarize the points in full sentences. I'll be nicer than FaZ and tell you that they probably don't care that you need money. What they care about is that you want to work for them, which you obviously do. I would remove the financial difficulties part, it doesn't seem to be relevant.

Good luck, dude! I know of people who have gotten full time positions (or at least stable part time) due to temp work. I wish you the best!

The financial difficulties part is relevant, as it clears up unambiguity as to if I am attending school this coming year, or already are in school, etc. I've already submit the job application, thanks all for the help.

I think it's funny you said "proficient in the language C" and then linked to your blog immediately afterwards, which proves you're lying.

You might not agree on what proficient is, but you still need to post constructively as in compliance with the rules of this forum.

It was meant to be read as "You shouldn't do that," not that it's actually funny. It was a critique which utilized sarcasm.

Also, "proficient" means "well-advanced or competent in any art, science, or subject; skilled." It's subjective, but not that subjective.

You are not proficient in C.

Gotta agree there.

Too late, already sent in the letter. I don't mind if you two don't think I'm proficient, but in my defense: you have to learn the fundamentals at a deep level of detail in order to move on and be a lethal programmer. Otherwise, you'll just be lacking and you're code will lack equally. Also, I don't post on my blog about all I do, there's actually a lot left out. I mostly post about finished programs, and things I need to remember but don't necessarily want to practice doing in order to achieve retention.