Staredit Network > Forums > Lite Discussion > Topic: Relationships and Cheating
Relationships and Cheating
Oct 18 2010, 4:42 pm
By: CecilSunkure
Pages: < 1 3 4 5
 

Oct 31 2010, 5:17 pm UnholyUrine Post #81



A reference to Paul McCartney, yet No Video Embeddment ? I am ASHAMED of you all.

Looks like I'll have to start this off on the right foot.


Listen. My advice would be to not delve into others' businesses. It may be a complete misunderstanding. But if you really care about it, then ask honestly. No tricks.



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Oct 31 2010, 5:28 pm Norm Post #82



@Beatles video in the thread: As if the situation couldn't get any worse!



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Oct 31 2010, 7:29 pm CecilSunkure Post #83



Quote from name:Azrael.Wrath
You made this thread asking for advice after having already done it, so the only thing it could have accomplished was to make you feel better about what you'd done.
Since this is the entire point of your post, I'll respond to this first. Actually, it looks like most of your post is saying this in different ways, along with "It's none of your business."

First off, the rumors were from my own girlfriend, which is good friends with Jan; I trust my girlfriend. As far as I'm concerned, Jan was absolutely cheating on Paul, I just don't have evidence. Jan and Paul had been dating for over three years, and were engaged; if their relationship was at all strong some random guy sharing a concern with Jack would in no way break the relationship. Me talking to Paul would not make or break the relationship in and of itself. The only thing me talking to Jack would do, is act as a catalyst for future events to occur faster or sooner.

Since my actions would not in any way directly affect whether or not their relationship would survive or not, I have no reason other than "It's none of my business" to get involved. Since I valued my own personal morals, and feel I would want someone to inform me of their concern were I in Paul's situation, I went ahead and let him know.

Quote from Azrael
If it was your friend involved, then yeah, this conversation would be relevant. As it stands, you have no place whatsoever to involve yourself. You need to stop throwing your pseudo-moral tantrum and try to learn something called personal boundaries.
So, you yourself wouldn't want anyone to get involved. Well, around here everyone agreed that it was the right thing to do, despite it being that nobody else would likely take the same actions I did if confronted with the choice to do so.

The bottom line is I felt it was the right thing to do, and did it more altruistically than anything else. If you disagree Azrael, it doesn't really matter since you have no authority over me in order to superimpose your set of morals on me (although you could try to get popular opinion to side with you, which hasn't happened, especially in RL around my town).

Quote from Azrael
Most people understand that gossiping about, meddling, and stalking nearly complete strangers are activities which are frowned upon, even as early as elementary school. You've shown an unhealthy interest in the lives of these people you barely know.
Quote from CecilSunkure
First off, the rumors were from my own girlfriend, which is good friends with Jan; I trust my girlfriend.
My girlfriend likes to keep good communication with me about her worries or concerns, and at the time she was very concerned for Jan and Paul (again, she is rather close to Jan).

Although, I would have done the following if I put more thought into the whole thing beforehand:
  • Confront Jan first, unless I had solid evidence of the cheating.
  • Or - Confront Jack first (since I was friends/acquaintances at the time), this would probably be most appropriate.
  • If I had solid evidence, share my concern with Paul.

Quote from Azrael
This shows you understand on some level that what you did was wrong, though you're not mature enough to be able to look at opposing opinions as credible or to look at yourself as possibly being wrong. The fact you would make a post saying "Who was right? Who was right? Damn straight; I was right." demonstrates this immature mentality.
I made the post because I was play bashing those who said it was none of my business, using mainly the argument of "You may be wrong" or "You don't know the situation very well", or other things related to certainty. It probably shouldn't be taken too seriously :cecil:



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Nov 9 2010, 5:51 am Doodan Post #84



Looks like I cleaned up (my real name being Jack and all, muahahaha).



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Nov 13 2010, 1:45 am DavidJCobb Post #85



As far as I'm concerned, the patient absolutely doesn't have lupus, I just don't have evidence.

It works for House. Why can't it work for Cecil?



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Nov 13 2010, 3:00 am Fire_Kame Post #86

a left leaning coexistence nut

I'd assume this wasn't my place to interfere to begin with. Unless you have direct proof that she has cheated there's nothing you should do. Even then, you've never really met Paul, so why would he listen to you? There is still the chance after all that Jan is considering breaking up with Paul, but hasn't cheated on him. Maybe Jack invited her over to talk about feelings. It could be that he really needed advice, or he could be manipulating her into doing something with him. But you can't prove anything so I'd just stay out of it.

EDIT: I only read the first post. It looks like you already chose what to do.




Nov 15 2010, 1:29 am ClansAreForGays Post #87



I was in this same situation.

I was cecil, Jack was my coworker and sorta friend, paul was also some guy I didn't know, and Jan was a super hot chick at work.
Even though Cecil left certain important things out, I know it is his same situation. (We now know his girlfriend can read anything he posts here.)

Me and 'Jack' would always talk about how hot 'Jan' is, but how we really have no chance with her. My gf won't let me hang out alone with her because she thinks I would fuck her given the opportunity (and I would). 'Jack' doesn't have this limitation, and out of no where starts hanging out with her a lot. Now 'Jack' is one of the ugliest mother fuckers alive, not even half as good looking as 'Paul' who I've only seen. Now while I'm screwing my '7' all I can think about is ugly 'Jack' screwing a fucking '10', and I'm jealous. I'm offended she wouldn't rather at least cheat on 'Paul' with me. Now being the piece of shit that I really I deep down inside, I fucking sabotage 'Jack' so that everyone's miserable.

I was say "Just admit it", but I know you can't because there's no guarantee that your little prying azn gf won't ever see it.

I hope this whole situation makes more sense to everyone now though.




Nov 15 2010, 5:20 am DT_Battlekruser Post #88



Wait, what? I was almost expecting a Bel-Air...



None.

Nov 18 2010, 1:11 pm LoveLess Post #89

Let me show you how to hump without making love.

I can honestly say that I am commonly Jack in this situation. From my own personal experience, I find that when you cheat on your other, it's their fault. Jack is not really doing anything too awful in this situation, Jan is. And if Paul is so in denial or retarded to notice changes, there is something wrong. Most commonly, women actually lose a bit of themselves in a relationship. They use cheating as a way to become themselves again, not being held down by how they feel they should act. They now, no longer care and it's just someone they can talk about, do and experience everything with... Without any of the ties or restraints.

In my opinion, if you already confronted Jan and she was in denial about it, that just means she is happy doing what she wants. If Paul learns about it from someone else, that can make a situation worse many times over. Let Jan either end it herself, Jack get bored or Paul eventually find out.

If you are wondering why someone like Jack got the girl Jan, it's because girls who date above the norm and find a guy below it with a lot of confidence and make her smile, laugh and feel like they did in high school... It is a strong attraction, it makes a girl feel that this guy makes her happy. But she still feels obliged to Paul, not to mention she doesn't want to date Jack, causing our dilemma.



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Nov 23 2010, 1:19 am DavidJCobb Post #90



Quote from LoveLess
I can honestly say that I am commonly Jack in this situation. From my own personal experience, I find that when you cheat on your other, it's their fault. Jack is not really doing anything too awful in this situation, Jan is. And if Paul is so in denial or retarded to notice changes, there is something wrong. Most commonly, women actually lose a bit of themselves in a relationship. They use cheating as a way to become themselves again, not being held down by how they feel they should act. They now, no longer care and it's just someone they can talk about, do and experience everything with... Without any of the ties or restraints.

In my opinion, if you already confronted Jan and she was in denial about it, that just means she is happy doing what she wants. If Paul learns about it from someone else, that can make a situation worse many times over. Let Jan either end it herself, Jack get bored or Paul eventually find out.

If you are wondering why someone like Jack got the girl Jan, it's because girls who date above the norm and find a guy below it with a lot of confidence and make her smile, laugh and feel like they did in high school... It is a strong attraction, it makes a girl feel that this guy makes her happy. But she still feels obliged to Paul, not to mention she doesn't want to date Jack, causing our dilemma.
So because she feels "obliged to 'Paul'", she thinks that rather than breaking up with him, she should... cheat on him?

I think that if you're right, the theoretical "she" is a fucking idiot. :3



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