Let's Play
by Pr0nogo
by Pr0nogo
Primer
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What is a Let's Play?
An LP is a video or series of videos showing an entire playthrough, start to finish, of a game. LPs generally contain no cut footage or sequences, and differs from a speedrun or the like, which focus exclusively on gameplay and rarely include reviews, commentary, or analysis. In particular, they tend to avoid a majority of the extraneous gameplay, whereas my LPs will often take the time to look around, to test mechanics, and to just make sure the game itself is complete. While this function is generally reserved for game testers, most games do not actually have proper testing runs, and as such generally lack polish - something that I tend to find extremely disgusting. LPs are all casted as they are played and not during post-production except in extremely specific circumstances, which are denoted in the notes section of the appropriate segments and in the recording itself.
Most of the time I have not played the game before recording an LP. I am usually learning the game as I am recording, unless otherwise stated. There are no re-runs or re-takes unless something happened to the actual recording, which is stated during play and in the LP release notes. All blunders and failings, both of the player and of the game, are part of the end product that you see and experience.
The releases are organised chronologically, starting from the most recent to the most antiquated.
An LP is a video or series of videos showing an entire playthrough, start to finish, of a game. LPs generally contain no cut footage or sequences, and differs from a speedrun or the like, which focus exclusively on gameplay and rarely include reviews, commentary, or analysis. In particular, they tend to avoid a majority of the extraneous gameplay, whereas my LPs will often take the time to look around, to test mechanics, and to just make sure the game itself is complete. While this function is generally reserved for game testers, most games do not actually have proper testing runs, and as such generally lack polish - something that I tend to find extremely disgusting. LPs are all casted as they are played and not during post-production except in extremely specific circumstances, which are denoted in the notes section of the appropriate segments and in the recording itself.
Most of the time I have not played the game before recording an LP. I am usually learning the game as I am recording, unless otherwise stated. There are no re-runs or re-takes unless something happened to the actual recording, which is stated during play and in the LP release notes. All blunders and failings, both of the player and of the game, are part of the end product that you see and experience.
The releases are organised chronologically, starting from the most recent to the most antiquated.
About the player
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My moniker is Pr0nogo, and my name is Darion Paone. I reside in Massachusetts, USA. I am a modder, a writer, and a campaign creator. I have approximately five years of casting experience (including things I did before LPs), ten years of voice acting experience, eleven years of modding experience, thirteen years of writing experience, and seventeen years of WCII, SC:BW, WCIII, and SCII mapping experience. I have extensive knowledge of the psychology of video games as well as the designer-side of putting such products together, and am generally regarded to have high standards, though I simply think that most developers are incompetent or impassionate. I will not enter the industry, ever.
I have been playing and enjoying (?) games since I was three years old, when I first sat down and played Pitfall for the Sega Genesis. Now, the quasi-masochistic joy of suffering through a terrible gaming experience has made itself known to me, and I feel inclined to share my adventures through my channel. You may find all of these releases and stay up-to-date with upcoming ones by subscribing, if you wish. I hope you find something here to your liking. If not, well, you're probably a nig. :^)))))))))
I have been playing and enjoying (?) games since I was three years old, when I first sat down and played Pitfall for the Sega Genesis. Now, the quasi-masochistic joy of suffering through a terrible gaming experience has made itself known to me, and I feel inclined to share my adventures through my channel. You may find all of these releases and stay up-to-date with upcoming ones by subscribing, if you wish. I hope you find something here to your liking. If not, well, you're probably a nig. :^)))))))))
The Let's Plays:
Aliens: Colonial Mamemes from Reddit Pitchford's Gaping Asshole
Guantanamo Bay Torture Device
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Co-caster: HeroofLemon (a.k.a. Jafar)
Guantanamo Bay Torture Device
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Co-caster: HeroofLemon (a.k.a. Jafar)
Show links
For this LP, HeroofLemon (a.k.a. Jafar) sat down to play this """"game"""" with me. It was probably the biggest mistake of his short life. Randy Pitchford really is a fucking autist.
Notes - BISHOP, YOU FUCKING CHESS PIECE, YOU ARE THE ONLY REDEEMING FACTOR THIS GAME HAS AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING BROKEN
Notes - Holy FUCK those rocks. Holy shit. Also, that ending is the literal worst pile of shit I have seen in any game ever. I really don't understand how they managed to fuck this game up so badly, and my co-caster can't fucking form words either. We've been Jafar'd.
Notes - Suck a niggas dick some
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Segment 1
1:50:00
1:50:00
Notes - BISHOP, YOU FUCKING CHESS PIECE, YOU ARE THE ONLY REDEEMING FACTOR THIS GAME HAS AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING BROKEN
Segment 2
2:55:00
2:55:00
Notes - Holy FUCK those rocks. Holy shit. Also, that ending is the literal worst pile of shit I have seen in any game ever. I really don't understand how they managed to fuck this game up so badly, and my co-caster can't fucking form words either. We've been Jafar'd.
Review
44:00
44:00
Notes - Suck a niggas dick some
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Action/Adventure, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Action/Adventure, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Show links
A very long time ago, I played a demo version of this game on console. Fast forward to present day, and the exact same issues I saw years ago still exist now. What a surprise.
It's worth noting that while I enjoyed the attention to detail the developers bestowed this game, it ultimately felt like a waste because of the shit story and shit gameplay. Aesthetically, though most of the environments worked out.
Notes - Intern to Square Enix publisher: "We've come up with a revolutionary new way to make combat thrilling! Random, unnecessary slow-downs, relentless and pointless button mashing, and shitty animations without any cancelling opportunities to make sure the player wants to ragequit one segment in!"
Genius.
Notes - We're entering into what are potentially SC2 levels of plot convenience. If your game ever, EVER gets compared to wangs of puberty and it isn't to say that it's nothing like the shit that spawned from Metzen's anus, you probably severely fucked up somewhere down the line.
Notes - I really didn't expect this game of all games to be this short. I think I missed about a fourth of the Riddler trophies (spoiler alert), but those don't actually add much to the game beyond flavour text and as-of-yet unimportant Arkham backstory. Too bad their final boss is a glorified QTE/arena/button masher that reminds me of Space Marine.
Notes - I was originally going to have a video component to this but I encountered some complications recording the challenges in-game. The review itself is dense, but does tackle the unfortunately-nuanced issue of how to handle source material in an adaptation like this.
It's worth noting that while I enjoyed the attention to detail the developers bestowed this game, it ultimately felt like a waste because of the shit story and shit gameplay. Aesthetically, though most of the environments worked out.
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Segment 1
2:22:00
2:22:00
Notes - Intern to Square Enix publisher: "We've come up with a revolutionary new way to make combat thrilling! Random, unnecessary slow-downs, relentless and pointless button mashing, and shitty animations without any cancelling opportunities to make sure the player wants to ragequit one segment in!"
Genius.
Segment 2
3:04:00
3:04:00
Notes - We're entering into what are potentially SC2 levels of plot convenience. If your game ever, EVER gets compared to wangs of puberty and it isn't to say that it's nothing like the shit that spawned from Metzen's anus, you probably severely fucked up somewhere down the line.
Segment 3
3:10:00
3:10:00
Notes - I really didn't expect this game of all games to be this short. I think I missed about a fourth of the Riddler trophies (spoiler alert), but those don't actually add much to the game beyond flavour text and as-of-yet unimportant Arkham backstory. Too bad their final boss is a glorified QTE/arena/button masher that reminds me of Space Marine.
Review
56:00
56:00
Notes - I was originally going to have a video component to this but I encountered some complications recording the challenges in-game. The review itself is dense, but does tackle the unfortunately-nuanced issue of how to handle source material in an adaptation like this.
Mirror's Edge
Action Platformer, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Action Platformer, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Show links
As I mention several times in this sub-five hour run, Mirror's Edge is basically a dumbed-down first-person iteration of Assassin's Creed - something that I never thought would ever exist. With one of the most tacked-on stories I've ever seen and some of the most egregious and excessive uses of bloom I've ever been blinded by, this EA indie game is truly a fucking disaster.
And WHY on Goff's green testicle can I not see my own fucking tits?!!? Sexism.
Notes - Presenting Assassin's Creed: First Person Edition, by EA Memes!
There are plenty of points that the bloom makes it so hard to read anything that I get lost. Additionally, my balls smell like peanut butter, but I don't even own a dog.
Notes - 5 hour running time. This is a tech demo. One that I can't see my own tits in, I might add.
Notes - Another review that's almost a quarter of the length of the game. Our keywords from Brotherhood haven't changed - they've only gotten more pertinent.
And WHY on Goff's green testicle can I not see my own fucking tits?!!? Sexism.
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Segment 1
2:25:00
2:25:00
Notes - Presenting Assassin's Creed: First Person Edition, by EA Memes!
There are plenty of points that the bloom makes it so hard to read anything that I get lost. Additionally, my balls smell like peanut butter, but I don't even own a dog.
Segment 2
2:20:00
2:20:00
Notes - 5 hour running time. This is a tech demo. One that I can't see my own tits in, I might add.
Review
48:00
48:00
Notes - Another review that's almost a quarter of the length of the game. Our keywords from Brotherhood haven't changed - they've only gotten more pertinent.
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Action Platformer, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Action Platformer, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Show links
Notes - Opening and closing with a QTE, Brotherhood marks a decline in quality surprising even for AssCreed titles. The PC port of this game was completely overlooked during production and blatantly untested, bringing me back to the days of Ass Effect. Rest assured, there's plenty of rage in this LP.
Notes - I'm at it again. Sound the alarms.
Editor's note: opening your video game franchise's third installment with a quick-time event means I can disregard any and all potential and quality your product has. XD
This was recorded with OBS. Don't worry, I don't make that mistake again.
Notes - The adventures into the Assassin's Creed subreddit continues as we rediscover Leobardo Nigvinci, my favourite analyst at lolasssports.cum!
Notes - Beat off to beating off bad guys that I'm beating. Some minor progression story-wise but most of it is just me chasing Nigvinci's paintnigs throughout Rome.
Notes - The bugs in this segment top all other bugs I've ever experienced in any game ever. You're in for a wild ride.
Notes - When game design is so bad it's beyond questionable, you know it's about time to chuck a glass dildo at the nearest window and hope for the best.
Notes - Almost four hours of sadness, depravity, and the occasional tipping of the fedora. It's a good thing those faggot meme hats are actually Italian, or I'd risk getting off-topic - and I would never do that. M'lady.
Notes - Last ten or so minutes is me watching credits, hoping for an actual ending to the game. No luck.
Notes - Keywords: inconsistency, incompetence, interns. I didn't even mention the QTEs because they made me too mad when I thought about them.
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Segment 1
2:24:00
2:24:00
Notes - I'm at it again. Sound the alarms.
Editor's note: opening your video game franchise's third installment with a quick-time event means I can disregard any and all potential and quality your product has. XD
This was recorded with OBS. Don't worry, I don't make that mistake again.
Segment 2
1:28:00
1:28:00
Notes - The adventures into the Assassin's Creed subreddit continues as we rediscover Leobardo Nigvinci, my favourite analyst at lolasssports.cum!
Segment 3
2:21:00
2:21:00
Notes - Beat off to beating off bad guys that I'm beating. Some minor progression story-wise but most of it is just me chasing Nigvinci's paintnigs throughout Rome.
Segment 4
3:01:00
3:01:00
Notes - The bugs in this segment top all other bugs I've ever experienced in any game ever. You're in for a wild ride.
Segment 5
3:00:00
3:00:00
Notes - When game design is so bad it's beyond questionable, you know it's about time to chuck a glass dildo at the nearest window and hope for the best.
Segment 6
3:27:00
3:27:00
Notes - Almost four hours of sadness, depravity, and the occasional tipping of the fedora. It's a good thing those faggot meme hats are actually Italian, or I'd risk getting off-topic - and I would never do that. M'lady.
Segment 7
55:00
55:00
Notes - Last ten or so minutes is me watching credits, hoping for an actual ending to the game. No luck.
Review
46:00
46:00
Notes - Keywords: inconsistency, incompetence, interns. I didn't even mention the QTEs because they made me too mad when I thought about them.
Bulletstorm
FPS, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
FPS, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 60 FPS
Show links
Notes - Bulletstorm is a first-person shooter and console port by Gears of War developer Epic Games, released in 2011 and falling prey to quick-time events, camera shaking, motion blur, lens flares, and other 'cinematic' internery. With a resume like that of good ol' CliffyB, though, I really shouldn't be surprised.
But QTEs never fail to make me mad.
Notes - Recorded in OBS instead of Fraps, this segment of Bullshitstorm is probably shittier than all the others, but at least the game has some decent voice actors. Too bad a chick kills my dick halfway through the story!
Notes - Back to Fraps after a severe malfunction with my video pipeline, we take control of the almighty Niggertron and bludgeon our way through a very poorly-designed gameplay segment, only to find more bullshit(storm) ahead.
Notes - Hello, lag! Did you miss me? Also in this segment: big burly men of all shapes and sizes. None of them are black, though, so you might as well not watch this segment at all.
Notes - In the mother of all cuntclusions, we soar into the sky as Robin Williams, recast audio for an hour out of the segment's running time, and just kill our dicks without any real recompense. Welcome to the culmination of every autist in the universe.
Notes - An hour-long review for a seven-hour-long game? Sounds just autistic enough for me to do. Topics include QTEs and rage.
But QTEs never fail to make me mad.
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Segment 1
1:37:00
1:37:00
Notes - Recorded in OBS instead of Fraps, this segment of Bullshitstorm is probably shittier than all the others, but at least the game has some decent voice actors. Too bad a chick kills my dick halfway through the story!
Segment 2
1:41:00
1:41:00
Notes - Back to Fraps after a severe malfunction with my video pipeline, we take control of the almighty Niggertron and bludgeon our way through a very poorly-designed gameplay segment, only to find more bullshit(storm) ahead.
Segment 3
1:39:00
1:39:00
Notes - Hello, lag! Did you miss me? Also in this segment: big burly men of all shapes and sizes. None of them are black, though, so you might as well not watch this segment at all.
Segment 4
1:57:00
1:57:00
Notes - In the mother of all cuntclusions, we soar into the sky as Robin Williams, recast audio for an hour out of the segment's running time, and just kill our dicks without any real recompense. Welcome to the culmination of every autist in the universe.
Review
1:06:00
1:06:00
Notes - An hour-long review for a seven-hour-long game? Sounds just autistic enough for me to do. Topics include QTEs and rage.
Assassin's Creed II
Action Platformer, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 30 FPS
Action Platformer, PC (console port)
1680x1050, 30 FPS
Show links
Notes - Containing several of the dull mechanics and underpolished traits of its predecessor, Assassin's Creed II was a real fuckin' joy to play - and by fuckin' joy, I mean it fucked any joy out of me. While it wasn't the worst game I've ever played, it was certainly one of the most criminally mediocre titles I've seen in a long while, and the trend purportedly continues the closer we get to Ubisoft's most recent entries into the IP. AC2 reinforces the idea that developers really don't have any idea what they're doing because everything looks like shit in this game and no attention was paid to even the largest of crucial details in any magnitude. Oh well, lol xd!
Notes - We begin the sequel to Asses Creed with our let's play of Asses Creed: Going Number Two. With the blood orgy resulting in the daemonic uterus painting we witnessed at the exciting cuntclusion of the previous title, the second installment in the Asses Creed saga promises to be just as autistic while achieving new levels of rectal friction. Where will my pants go, tony?
Notes - We continue the adventure of Pizza Auditism, this time encountering big golden cocks and some chick with big tits. I never would have suspected Asses Creed: Going Number Two was an allegory to my deepest, darkest, innermost fantasy: infinitely rodding infinite interns for infinity. Mm, cheese.
Notes - featuring a slightly boring and supremely awkward presentation of story where nothing much really happens at all, this segment will additionally teach you a lot about artificial intelligence and strange boner testicles.
Notes - Between YouTube not understanding what an MKV is and Ubisoft not understanding what an AI is, I'm starting to get a little PO'd about the FCC. Jesus, I'm turning into the Goliath pilot from Brood War. At least this segment is better than the last, in terms of both progression and audio.
Notes - We end on a phone call because the power of boners is much stronger than the power of playing a shit game with shitty platforming and shittier combat.
Notes - I am One Nigel Knock No, and this is Asses Creed: Going Number Two. Kill yourself.
Notes - Platforming 101: make it autistic and make it lengthily. Also, put that horse inside that carriage.
Notes - One of the first segments to showcase my more constructive commentary is also the first segment in quite a long time where we spend time with Desmond.
Notes - Towards the end of this segment, you can hear my asshole clench shut as it combats the blubbery turtlehead peaking from my rear. I really had to shit after playing through this shit.
Notes - I unlock Eagle Dick and soar into the air.
Notes - We interrupt this segment of Assassin's Creed for rage - and lots of it! Thanks a lot, tony.
Notes - In lieu of the rage-filled banter I showcased in the previous segment, number twelve appears to have been saturated with autistic laughter.
Notes - Lucky number thirteen tells us we have more lag to cum thanks to Uplay. Kill yourself, Ubihard. Additionally, we almost finish the game! Too bad I said almost.
Notes - Spaniard aside, we move on in a lagless display of autism and irritation.
Notes - This continues the display of autism and general disinterest and fatigue, which will no doubt set the tone for a less-than-brilliant cuntclusion.
Notes - %HEROOFNUNUS FUCKL.
Notes - Though the LP is firm and lengthily, the review is not the hour-long tirade you might have come to expect from me. With a somewhat disjointed train of thought, I describe in excruciating detail why the game was as bad as it was.
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Segment 1
1:13:00
1:13:00
Notes - We begin the sequel to Asses Creed with our let's play of Asses Creed: Going Number Two. With the blood orgy resulting in the daemonic uterus painting we witnessed at the exciting cuntclusion of the previous title, the second installment in the Asses Creed saga promises to be just as autistic while achieving new levels of rectal friction. Where will my pants go, tony?
Segment 2
1:03:00
1:03:00
Notes - We continue the adventure of Pizza Auditism, this time encountering big golden cocks and some chick with big tits. I never would have suspected Asses Creed: Going Number Two was an allegory to my deepest, darkest, innermost fantasy: infinitely rodding infinite interns for infinity. Mm, cheese.
Segment 3
1:12:00
1:12:00
Notes - featuring a slightly boring and supremely awkward presentation of story where nothing much really happens at all, this segment will additionally teach you a lot about artificial intelligence and strange boner testicles.
Segment 4
59:00
59:00
Notes - Between YouTube not understanding what an MKV is and Ubisoft not understanding what an AI is, I'm starting to get a little PO'd about the FCC. Jesus, I'm turning into the Goliath pilot from Brood War. At least this segment is better than the last, in terms of both progression and audio.
Segment 5
1:04:00
1:04:00
Notes - We end on a phone call because the power of boners is much stronger than the power of playing a shit game with shitty platforming and shittier combat.
Segment 6
55:55
55:55
Notes - I am One Nigel Knock No, and this is Asses Creed: Going Number Two. Kill yourself.
Segment 7
54:00
54:00
Notes - Platforming 101: make it autistic and make it lengthily. Also, put that horse inside that carriage.
Segment 8
57:00
57:00
Notes - One of the first segments to showcase my more constructive commentary is also the first segment in quite a long time where we spend time with Desmond.
Segment 9
58:00
58:00
Notes - Towards the end of this segment, you can hear my asshole clench shut as it combats the blubbery turtlehead peaking from my rear. I really had to shit after playing through this shit.
Segment 10
1:02:00
1:02:00
Notes - I unlock Eagle Dick and soar into the air.
Segment 11
1:10:00
1:10:00
Notes - We interrupt this segment of Assassin's Creed for rage - and lots of it! Thanks a lot, tony.
Segment 12
1:03:00
1:03:00
Notes - In lieu of the rage-filled banter I showcased in the previous segment, number twelve appears to have been saturated with autistic laughter.
Segment 13
1:10:00
1:10:00
Notes - Lucky number thirteen tells us we have more lag to cum thanks to Uplay. Kill yourself, Ubihard. Additionally, we almost finish the game! Too bad I said almost.
Segment 14
1:03:00
1:03:00
Notes - Spaniard aside, we move on in a lagless display of autism and irritation.
Segment 15
1:04:00
1:04:00
Notes - This continues the display of autism and general disinterest and fatigue, which will no doubt set the tone for a less-than-brilliant cuntclusion.
Segment 16
1:37:00
1:37:00
Notes - %HEROOFNUNUS FUCKL.
Review
44:00
44:00
Notes - Though the LP is firm and lengthily, the review is not the hour-long tirade you might have come to expect from me. With a somewhat disjointed train of thought, I describe in excruciating detail why the game was as bad as it was.
Post has been edited 33 time(s), last time on Oct 22 2018, 4:41 pm by Pr0nogo.
