I collect quotes, here are some of my faves/my own.
The Ethiops say that their gods are flat-nosed and black,
While the Thracians say that theirs have blue eyes and red hair.
Yet if cattle or horses or lions had hands and could draw,
And could sculpture like men, then the horses would draw their gods
Like horses, and cattle like cattle; and each they would shape
Bodies of gods in the likeness, each kind, of their own. - Xenophanes
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long
at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. - Helen Keller
One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others. - Moliere
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Socrates
Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
Let us hope that the nations that possess and represent
the arts may never go under, no matter how small they are. - Antonin Dvorak
It is not enough to know the principles, one needs to know how to manipulate. - Michael Faraday
All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway. - Harry S. Truman
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S. Truman
I remember when I first came to Washington. For the first six months you wonder how the hell you ever got here. For the next six months you wonder how the hell the rest of them ever got here. - Harry S. Truman
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. - Harry S. Truman
A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. - Harry S. Truman
Never confuse having a stick up your ass with having a spine. - Liana Trement
Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like
expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. - Shari Barr
No, that dress doesn't make you seem fat, but your dependence on
others' opinions definitely makes you seem shallow.
Women are like a box of chocolates, the ones with the cherries are the best
Teamwork is everyone doing what I say.
I would really like it if someone would just show some balls around here. And it might as well be me. So here,
take a good look.
If it exists, destroy it. If it doesn't exist, destroy it. If you're not sure if it exists or not, destroy it.
Sex, to me, is like television. (That's how I experience it, anyway.)
If love is an ineffable feeling, why is it so easily effed up?
Personal Quotes:Don't go fuck yourself - The worst pep talk ever.
The only way to truly kill a dream is to make it come true.
Nobody questions the man who has no answers, which is why idiots are so often in management.
Not all men are created equal; in the end, however, were all equally dead.
A bad answer is simply a bad question.
Given the opportunity, everyone wastes it.
Those who spend life saving money, only buy wasted time.
The easiest way to improve life is to lower expectations.
Praise without criticism is no better then criticism without praise.
In Science, it is impossible to say if something is true, but it is easy to show that it is false.
In Religion, it is easy to say that something is true, but impossible to say that it is false.
The more you quote others, the less others quote you.
I've masturbated to films with better plots than this.
I think I'm gonna run a marathon this year, just to train for Z-day.
I'm smarter than some at some things, so I suppose I'm somewhat smart.
Grab life by the horns, cause it's horny.
I'm sorry, I realize that having your mind blown sounds like a fart coming out of your head. Excess gas and all that.
If time = money, than I should stop working so I have all the time in the world.
When you mix acid with a bass, you get funk.
Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da life goes on Brah,
Nah Nah why don't you get a job.
People keep trying to kill time, but it always slips away.
If there was any more hand waving, they'd signal down planes.
Life is a sham, staged by the universe, to make us feel like we exist.
Yesterday, I went to the future and here I am!
Real chemists shoot blanks
According to my calculations, everything will be alright somehow.
Knowing whats important is the most important thing to know.
None.