Quote from name:Azrael.Wrath
You made this thread asking for advice after having already done it, so the only thing it could have accomplished was to make you feel better about what you'd done.
Since this is the entire point of your post, I'll respond to this first. Actually, it looks like most of your post is saying this in different ways, along with "It's none of your business."
First off, the rumors were from my own girlfriend, which is good friends with Jan; I trust my girlfriend. As far as I'm concerned, Jan was absolutely cheating on Paul, I just don't have evidence. Jan and Paul had been dating for over three years, and were engaged; if their relationship was at all strong some random guy sharing a concern with Jack would in no way break the relationship. Me talking to Paul would not make or break the relationship in and of itself. The only thing me talking to Jack would do, is act as a catalyst for future events to occur faster or sooner.
Since my actions would not in any way directly affect whether or not their relationship would survive or not, I have no reason other than "It's none of my business" to get involved. Since I valued my own personal morals, and feel I would want someone to inform me of their concern were I in Paul's situation, I went ahead and let him know.
If it was your friend involved, then yeah, this conversation would be relevant. As it stands, you have no place whatsoever to involve yourself. You need to stop throwing your pseudo-moral tantrum and try to learn something called personal boundaries.
So, you yourself wouldn't want anyone to get involved. Well, around here everyone agreed that it was the right thing to do, despite it being that nobody else would likely take the same actions I did if confronted with the choice to do so.
The bottom line is I felt it was the right thing to do, and did it more altruistically than anything else. If you disagree Azrael, it doesn't really matter since you have no authority over me in order to superimpose your set of morals on me (although you could try to get popular opinion to side with you, which hasn't happened, especially in RL around my town).
Most people understand that gossiping about, meddling, and stalking nearly complete strangers are activities which are frowned upon, even as early as elementary school. You've shown an unhealthy interest in the lives of these people you barely know.
First off, the rumors were from my own girlfriend, which is good friends with Jan; I trust my girlfriend.
My girlfriend likes to keep good communication with me about her worries or concerns, and at the time she was very concerned for Jan and Paul (again, she is rather close to Jan).
Although, I would have done the following if I put more thought into the whole thing beforehand:
- Confront Jan first, unless I had solid evidence of the cheating.
- Or - Confront Jack first (since I was friends/acquaintances at the time), this would probably be most appropriate.
- If I had solid evidence, share my concern with Paul.
This shows you understand on some level that what you did was wrong, though you're not mature enough to be able to look at opposing opinions as credible or to look at yourself as possibly being wrong. The fact you would make a post saying "Who was right? Who was right? Damn straight; I was right." demonstrates this immature mentality.
I made the post because I was play bashing those who said it was none of my business, using mainly the argument of "You may be wrong" or "You don't know the situation very well", or other things related to certainty. It probably shouldn't be taken too seriously
None.