So this thread reminded me that the local chef has work all day, erryday, until 8 PM. That leaves me and myself only to feed... myself. Unfortunately, I can't cook, and I refuse to eat packaged foods, and I'm also a very picky eater. So please SEN, help this poor boy with simple recipes of meals that he can make himself without too much strain. Note that I run, a lot. I'll need the recipes to be nutritious in order to keep me alive during the hours of cross country training.

- Program

So you say that you can't cook, and that you're a picky eater, but give no details on either of these rather important attributes. How do you expect us to give you recipes for things you can make, or that you will eat?

First of all, I was trying to keep it very general. I think it can be implied that I'm looking for recipes that are simple, and doable for the average Joe. I threw in one criteria; that the recipe needed to be healthy and/or nutritious.

edit: Seriously, at this level of hunger, anything would help.

Scrambled eggs:
1) Get an egg
2) Crack the egg
3) Throw away the shell
4) Get a non stick skillet
5) Beat the egg. Use an egg beater, or a baseball bat, either one works
6) Put the egg in the skillet, and cook for however long you want; most people do it till the egg is no longer runny. Move the egg around and "scramble" it
Edit: 6.5) Add a pinch of salt and/or pepper immediately after you put the egg in the pan
7) Clean up you stuff. If you chose to use the baseball bat, this step may take a longer time

Buy organic peanut butter and whole-grain bread. Peanut butter sandwich. Also, the best sandwich for anyone exercising. It's my after-lifting snack.
In addition, but a large can of unprocessed oats (the not instant ones). Those, mixed with strawberries and blueberries, are extremely nutritious.

Something I made myself about 8 hours ago:

PANCAKE for 1 person as a meal:
- 2 eggs from a chicken
- milk (a little bit more than the volume of the eggs, maybe twice...)
Mix that until you receive a homogeneous fluid.
- flour (Just put it in and make the batter not super fluid)
Mix that until you receive a homogeneous fluid that isn't as fluid as before.
Put oil in the batter and move/shake it around that the whole area is covered (don't use to much oil).
Turn on your range (?right word?) and set it to the level 2,5 of 3 (in my case, depends on the heat your range can produce).
Wait a bit. Put the batter into the warm pan (check for warm air above the oil).
Wait untill the batter becomes solid. Check the downside for brown color. When it looks good (slightly brown, but not super brown), flip the pancake.
Wait till the downside is slightly brown. Turn off the range [I don't feel confortable with that word] and lay the pancake on a plate.
-sugar and cinnamon
Just throw that on top of your pancake, mix it and hopefully enjoy your selfmade meal.

At least that is some food that is easy to make and which keeps my alive for some hours.

Add toast and bacon to the scrambled egg and you have something worth eating.

Just ate this. I usually eat it right after working out. It's a simple and quick meal for me.

What you need:
Cheez-It crackers
Can of tuna (I use light + omega 3)
Mayonnaise
Rooster hot sauce
Olive oil

What to do:
Open a can of tuna and drain all the liquid
Put tuna into a bowl and add a spoonful of mayo
Mix and add in the rooster hot sauce. I like mine hot so I put a good amount
Dip Cheez-its into bowl, scoop up a good amount of tuna, and eat


I also have a meal replacement when I'm on a hurry. It's a protein shake that takes a bit of time to make, so I make like 3 bottles every night to prepare for the next day.

In a blender put chocolate protein powder (I use ON Whey Double chocolate).
Add dry oatmeal or add wheat powder
Put a huge spoonful of peanut butter
Add a bit of water and a lot of milk
Blend and put into gatorade bottles or some other big bottle which is easy to carry.

I love the slightly sarcastic aura in this thread.

Thanks a bunch guys, you have no idea how much this is helping. Keep 'em coming too, and they can get slightly more advance than this as well.

Since Lanth didn't really give a recipe:
Toast:
1) Get bread
2) Get toaster
3) Put bread in toaster
4) Set dial to 4/10
5) Wait impatiently
6) Wait more
7) Watch the magic as toast pops out!

Edit: Put peanut butter on toast. Maybe some jelly, but if you do use jelly, you better heap it on. Devour toast quickly. Do not share under any circumstance.

Bacon:
1) Find a pig
2) Kill the pig
3) Sell organs to local meth house
4) Use money to go to store and frozen bacon
5) Get a pan + oil and heat up bacon
6) Lightly cook bacon till crisp
7) Over cook some of the bacon
8) The deep fry some of the bacon
9) Share some bacon; eat the rest

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jul 2 2010, 1:04 am by fat_flying_pigs.

Spaghetti Bolognese for 1 person:
125g of minced meat ('hamburger' meat for you yanks)
80g of spaghetti
1 small capsicum
1 small onion
3-5 mushrooms
1 can of pasta sauce (usually have flavourings), or 1 can of diced/crushed tomatoes
Spices - packet of flavouring from supermarket, or fennel seeds, oregano (oreganum), thyme, basil, crushed garlic. If you have no idea how much to put in, just do a 1-2 teaspoons of each.

1. Dice onion into small pieces. Slice mushroom into thin slices. Cut up capsicum into small squares of whatever shape you want.
2. In a pot, brown the mince on the stove. Put oil in the pan first so it doesn't stick - best to use a non-stick pan. Use a wooden spoon or other hard-edge implement to break the meat up. Stir over high heat until brown - no pink/red bits left. This normally takes 3-5 minutes. Optionally drain fat off into the sink and run hot water from the tap (faucet) so the fat doesn't clog up your drain (oops!).
3. Add onion to meat, and brown it - usually takes 1-3 minutes.
4. Put boiling water from kettle in a pot on the stove and keep it boiling, add pasta. The pasta will take 9-12 minutes to cook. Add some salt, and optinally oil (I never bother with oil). After a few minutes, stir to keep the strands separated. Stir occasionally while it cooks.
5. Add mushrooms, capsicum, canned tomatos/pasta sauce and spices into the pot with the meat. Stir everything up and put a lid on it. Gently simmer (turn the heat down on the stove!) and stir occasionally.

When the pasta is ready (check a strand and see if it is soft or still chewy/hard), drain the water and serve on a plate. Put the meat sauce on top.

The good thing about this meal is that you can basically take as long as you want to make it. If you leave the meat cooking for 30-40 minutes, that's fine (as long as it doesn't burn). This means if you haven't cooked your pasta properly because it wasn't hot enough or your completely forgot about it, you can just keep cooking the meat until the pasta is ready, and then serve.

It is a very easy and good meal for beginners, especially if you're not very confident in the kitchen. I normally make it once a week because it is easy. You can experiment and add in other vegetables if you want, sometimes I put in some grated carrot to help bulk it up, you can put in some diced aubergines, celery that has been diced up finely, add some extra wine for flavouring (hmm, I should do this sometime soon). You can add grated cheese on top as a garnish at the end. My parents like to cook up some frozen peas and serve that alongside (not inside) as well.

This is a pasta + meat + vegetables mix that I make and eat as if it were a salad. I don't know the measurements, I just put a whole bunch of ingredients so that I can make 2-3 meals for myself out of it.

What you need:

Stove
1 Large cooking pot
1 Big knife
1 Cutting board
Seasoning (Oregano, Salt, Pepper, Vinegar, Onions, Garlic, Olive Oil)

Ingredients

Pasta (preferably the short kind)
Boneless chicken breast
Vegetables (Any kind is fine, the more varied the better) (I tend to use carrots, corn and broccoli)

1. Lightly season your chicken. Remember that you will be boiling everything so don't go crazy here. Usually I just thaw out the chicken breast and place it inside a zip-lock the the seasoning overnight. To apply seasoning just place your herbs and spices over the surface of the chicken. Thinly dice up some onion and garlic and throw them in. In the bag, pour a bit of vinegar and olive oil in, don't put in a lot, just enough so that the chicken breast gets wet.

2. Slice and dice up your vegetables.

3. Take out your seasoned chicken breast and place it into the cutting board. Cut it into small cubes, they should be about as wide as your thumb.

4. Fill the big cooking pot with water. I tend to add about 0.5 ounces of olive oil to the water. Set the water to boil at about a medium temperature.

5. Put all the vegetables, pasta and chicken cubes into the water to boil. How much time it depends on the amount of ingredients you poured and your temperature settings. Slow cooking will always taste better than fast cooking. Shouldn't take more than 10 minutes. To test it just take a fork and grab either a piece of chicken, vegetable and pasta and eat it. If the veggies/chicken/pasta are too hard you need more time, if not then it's ready. It's kinda hard to overcook these, I've never overcooked them.

6. When it's ready, turn off stove and wait for the boiling water to cool off a bit.

7. Drain the water and serve yourself. I lightly apply vinegar, olive oil, oregano and pepper here to the mix. Italian or French salad dressing works great too.

8. EAT!

Similar in vein to Beer's pasta salad.

Spinach and pesto chicken pasta:
1 pottle/bottle of pesto. Something like 100-150g, but however much you think is reasonable.
20g of pine nuts for seasoning
125g of chicken breast, cut into cubes
80g of any type of pasta
Bunch of spinach leaves, roughly torn into smaller pieces
Parmesan cheese for seasoning

1. Brown the chicken cubes in a pan.
2. Cook the pasta in another pot, following method from bolognese above.
3. Briefly blanche the spinach leaves (put in boiling water for 1-2 minutes)
4. Drain pasta, add chicken, pesto, spinach leaves, pine-nuts and any other vegetables you want. Mix the whole lot up and leave it to heat on the element for another 2-3 minutes.
5. Serve onto plates, grate parmesan cheese over the top.

Incredibly easy, and quite tastey. You can experiment with different pestos. Note that the pine nuts, while quite expensive, do improve the dish. You can also lightly toast them separately before adding to the rest of the meal. May wish to serve with a side of steamed vegetables if you didn't add anything else into the mix, and some crusty bread also works well.

I think I'll make this next week, haven't done it for a while.

Something simple to make are tacos, and the meat can be fairly lean. I usually use ground beef or ground turkey, but turkey dries out faster so you can't cook it for as long. I season it to taste, but here's a few tips for your beef: defrost, throw it into a pan. You don't need olive oil or anything, because the meat should provide enough. Taco seasoning includes chili powder, paprika, black pepper, red pepper flakes and salt. You can actually buy this prepackaged, and the prepackaged stuff usually has garlic and onion powder. But I'd prefer to use fresh onion and garlic anyways. Top with lots of delicious things like lettuce and salsa and avocados.

Fish is pretty easy to cook. It usually doesn't take long - a few minutes. Lemon rubs taste good on most fish. You can buy that in the spice isle in most stores, but I like to add more to it, like fresh thyme or parsley...red pepper flakes.

As BeeR mentioned, salad dressings taste good in less than conventional uses too, like as marinades for meat, but also I use italian dressing sometimes to season prepackaged frozen vegetables.

These are simple...and usually rather lean.

Agreed.

I go even further and add cheese and onions, varying spices and herbs.

1. fry bacon
2. after a minute add onions
3. and right after that distribute some cheese in your pan
4. set to low heat and add the eggs and mash everything right in the pan.
5. add spices and herbs as you see fit. But DONT add salt as the bacon and other ingredients add enough salt/taste.
I like the following spices:
- paprika
- pepper
- caraway seeds
- garlic (may use a clove instead)
- a tiny bit nutmeg
and herbs:
- parseley
- basil
- oregano
- green onions

But don't go overboard and add all spices and herbs at once. Just try a few, and experiment a bit what you like.

Protip: Use the bread/toast to grab the eggs right out of your pan. No need for plates or forks. That's how I learned it from a turkish family. It's apparently a tradition to eat it that way there.

Cheese sandwich

Need 2 slices of bread
Cheese
Microwave

Places cheese between the two slices of bread
Place into microwave and set time for like 25-45 seconds (cooking time may vary)
Eat

Good stuff guys. I'll be sure to try something once I get back from practice.

Step One: Grab a zergling, preferably a Darkling
Step Two: Preheat oven to 425°F
Step Tres: Cover zergling in ranch and bread crumbs
Step Foar: Put zergling on baking sheet and put in oven
Step Five: Cook for 30-40 minutes, depending on how well done you want the zergling.
Step Six : Enjoy

You could also replace zergling with chicken.

Uhh. Dark_Marine, I don't know how you eat chicken, but you never ever want chicken that's not completely done.

Well my first attempt at cooking for myself consisted of eggs... just eggs. I'll have to go buy bacon or attempt cooking hot dogs or something. Anyway, I think it's pretty decent in my opinion. I think I added too much red/black pepper and not enough salt. :x I'd post a picture of it but I can't find any batteries for my camera. I'll probably go buy spices/herbs like NudeRaider said; I think my problem is not having enough ingredients.

Thank you all for helping me out, but don't stop posting these! I'll have to cook for myself for the foreseeable future.

edit: I think I'll try to make myself pasta for dinner.