I played the map by myself as far as I could. I got past the part with the Ultralisk and then wasn't able to open the door the next area. I assume this is because you haven't finished the map yet. I like it overall but I encountered a number of problems and bugs. Here are my suggestions:
- Detailed notification when you pick stuff up, telling you what you picked up. It would be nice to have a sound effect, possibly a different one for each kind of item.
- Players should either start with full clips or be informed that they need to reload before they even start. You could even work this into the plot, having the APC say something like "lock 'n' load, boys" to give players a heads-up so they know to load their weapons before going into the base.
- For that matter, you could work the notification about how strong the enemies are, etc. into the plot as well, having the APC give that information as a mini briefing before the players go into the base.
- Wider corridors, unless this conflicts with the atmosphere. There were a couple of times when I got stuck and had to backtrack to find hallways that led to the rooms where I could find the equipment I needed to proceed. You have to go further into narrow corridors for them to be illuminated as the fog of war parts, however, which might add to the suspense.
- Notification when your clip is empty and you need to reload, unless this conflicts with the atmosphere. Not having the notification might add to the suspense, with players sometimes getting into "oh, shit, I forgot my clip is empty" situations. In that case you should say at the beginning of the game that there won't be reload notifications and players need to pay close attention to how much ammo they have left in their clips.
- Generic notification for the "interact" function when there's nothing with which to interact. Something like "you see nothing of importance here".
- Running short on supplies from the very start doesn't make sense if you're on a military operation. I think you should be able to return to the APC for supplies during the first part of the map. At some point you could have the players be ordered to search deeper in the base but then lose contact with the APC. This is where the short-on-supplies survival aspect could kick in.
- Separate the "interact" function into a "use" function and an "examine" function so that the notifications don't get mixed up. Or maybe only allow players to "examine" something when there is nothing to "use". In other words, prioritize "use" over "examine". This would mean that players would have to run the "interact" function twice to do both in the same area.
- The C4 explodes funny. When I first had to use it to get through the first door, even though I was quite a ways away when it exploded, I got killed. There was also a burrowed Zergling or something that got killed during the explosion. Was it supposed to have attacked me earlier? Or was it there for some reason? Later when I tried to use the C4 on the Ultralisk, neither it nor the Zerglings that were starting to swarm around it got killed.
- Notifications before players enter an area swarming with enemies, unless this conflicts with the atmosphere. This could add or detract from the suspense, depending on how you look at it. You could work it into the plot, having the notification say something like "you have a really bad feeling about this".
- Have items on the ground spaced further apart from each other so you can pick them up one at a time. This would reduce the need for trading items. (I saw what looked like an inventory trading system but, of course, I couldn't test it on my own.)
- You lose ammo even when enemies step on your mines. I assume this is because the ammo reduction is tied to enemy deaths. You're gonna have to be creative with the triggers to work around this.
- Even though killing a certain enemy uses up a certain amount of ammo, you can attack that enemy even when you have less ammo than that amount. For example, even though killing a Zergling uses up 50 ammo, you can attack Zerglings even when you have less than 50 ammo. Dunno if this is important enough to bother you.
There were quite a few grammatical mistakes and poor stylistic choices. If you compile a list of all the text you're going to use in notifications, I'd be willing to help you with grammar and style. (As I'm sure others would be as well.)
By the way, I was impressed by the use of buildings to make certain actions (units to train in the factories for the selection system) available or unavailable instead of the typical attempt to carry out the action followed by an error notification.
I hope that's helpful. Good luck with your map and keep us informed of your progress.
None.